The Jump

I’m standing in the doorway more scared then I’ve ever been. This is something that I never thought I’d do. I’m pretty outgoing and adventurous, but we all draw the line somewhere. And today, I’m hovering on the edge.

The sweat is beading between my shoulder blades. I can feel the slow trickle down my spine. My heart is beating like a galloping horse, my muscles clenching over and over. The adrenaline pumping through my body is exhilarating. I am completely focused on my breathing. I’m afraid I’ll forget how if I don’t.

I’m surrounded by professionals all whispering encouragement. My best friend is by my side. I know I’m safe. I’ve taken the classes. Top of the line equipment is being used. But the vast unknown before me is terrifying.

What if I do something wrong? Anything less than perfection has major consequences. Death. Lifelong handicaps. I’m brand new at this. I need the instruction manual. Why don’t they provide one? They keep telling me to just breath. Just trust in myself. I can do this.

I don’t know why I am so afraid. It’s not like I’ve never tried something new before. In fact, I love adventure. This is adventure times 100! And it’s not like I can back out now. The choice has been made and there is no turning back.

Time is running out. I have to pull myself together. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. I got this. I just have to push. Only a few more minutes and the freefall begins. No more questions and no more doubts. It’s going to be amazing and terrifying. The more I think about it, the greater the excitement.

Ok let’s go! 1…..2…..3…. damn not quite enough. I almost made it. I’m so close. Catch my breath. Try again. 1…..2…..3…..JUMP!

Holy Shit! I did it! This is incredible. I’m surrounded by beauty. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. Big sloppy tears of joy. I’m awestruck. I can’t catch by breath. I’ve never felt like this before; I’m so proud of myself. I glance behind me and the view is still the same. Everywhere I look I see my future. It doesn’t matter where I came from….only where I’m going.

This tale could be the telling of many different things. The first time jumping from a plane, giving birth, or walking into rehab. The details don’t matter. Only the message. Honestly, I was describing all three. The point is we are all capable of overcoming fear and self doubt to find the beauty on the other side. All you have to do is jump…….