Express it In Eight

An Ode To Silence (And The Lack Thereof)
July 1st

I set to work...and it begins;
a truck comes round, men empty bins.
And screaming schoolkids hurt my head;
they make a din to wake the dead.

The mid-life crisis guy next door
starts up his motor bike's damned roar.
As my blood pressure rises up,
I simply want to scream "Shaddup!!!"



Epiphany
Sep 12th



"Don't look, but he's still sitting there,"
he whispered in her ear.
"You'd think he'd take a freakin' hint -
why is he even here?"

She stared along the open road
and swore to kick the hooch.
It's bad when you can swear you hear
a loudmouth talking pooch.



Rebuke To A Sicilian
Sep 20th

I do not think it means
What you think it means
That word you keep on using
(Or should I say abusing?)
To my extreme vexation
Whate'er the situation
I find it unbelievable
You think it "inconceivable"

With apologies to fans of "The Princess Bride".





Awareness
Nov 17th

Each morning as I left the house in my school uniform,
I'd have my panty girdle on - for me this was the norm.
Firm corsetry ensured that all day long I'd be aware
that I, a teenage boy, was wearing women's underwear.

But all around life would go on, no-one would seem to know
the shame I felt, the agony I had to undergo.
While the unfairness of it all would often make me chafe,
I'd feel relieved to know my awful secret would be safe.



More Bacon
Nov 20th

He grins in the picture, beside his new car.
"More Bacon" proclaims a fun sticker.
But as his cholesterol shot through the roof,
arterial plaques grew much thicker.

The hearse slowly passes the dives where he ate.
On his coffin, their floral tribute:
picked out in white lilies, "More Bacon" it says.
It's a pity he didn't eat more fruit.



To A Mouse (in the style of Robert Burns)
Dec 17th

Wee sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie
I wish thoud'st do just what I asked thee,
and double-click on yonder windae
and maximise it.

These days wi my atrocious eyesight
I cannae read this bluddy website.
So just dae whit ye'r' bein' telt, right?
This bluddy minute!