Morning Journey

"How did you lose it?"
I looked up from my phone, my silly rainbow Crocs crammed beneath the glovebox. "What? My sanity?"
"Your everything."
"Oh, how did he kick me out, you mean." there was a pause as I drew in a tired breath. "I guess... he knew I wanted control. He knew he was losing power over me because I finally realized what he was doing."
"I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could do."
"Oh, same. Me too."
I turned to watch out the passenger side window, trees zooming past the highway. She looked ahead, both hands held loosely at the bottom of the wheel.
As the truck pulled into the parking lot, I felt my hastily eaten breakfast churn. I knew this would happen; I should have listened to myself. But my anxiety wanted me to be overprepared to survive, being an hour away from home.
I thanked her profusely for the ride through slurred words, my cheeks going pale. I calmly stepped to the side of the building, propped myself up with one hand against a set of old metal stairs and lost the contents of my stomach. How degrading. Nothing unusual nowadays, to feel that.
Stumbling a bit I found myself on a crooked bench and rinsed my mouth with flavored water from my drawstring bag. Not to kill the scene, but my bag was rainbow, matching my shoes. Super appropriate for the meeting I was going to, but I had really stopped caring so much. Things were going to happen, or they weren't. I could expect myself to keep trying, but with the way things were going I couldn't exactly hold myself to the highest of standards. I needed room to breathe.
At least it was a nice day.
I collected my thoughts and my stomach for awhile, looking at library card options on my phone, and enjoying the late spring weather.
Finally I made the decision to go into the library. I walked in, then down some narrow stairs, around a corner and past a maintenance person, who awkwardly said hello to me while we stepped around one another. A second sooner and they would have hit me with that door. Count your blessings.
It didn't take long to realize I had definitely not come in the main door of the building like I thought I had, but within not much time I came upon a table of computers and settled in.
Something about the atmosphere of this place, and being bored and on a computer, waiting for my meeting, brought back strong memories of cutting class in high school to write books in the computer lab. So, I did what I always would, what was my nature. I made an account on a new writing website, as my favorites had been shut down around 2016 or so, and wrote this story.