Silly Dreams

“I had a really strange dream,” Helen said.

She always had to tell me her dreams! I quickly threw the covers back and stood from the bed. It was Sunday, I had a tee-time.

“No, wait!” she said.

"Come on, really?”

“Please listen. I was in the woods. I was all alone.”

I sat back down on the bed thinking about needing to pee. What is it about Helen's insistence to always tell me her dreams?

“I was scared. I was so lost, Eddie, and it was getting dark…”

“Sounds like a scary dream,” I said, standing up.

“Wait, listen!”

I sat back down again. “I really got to pee, Helen.”

“Please. Listen. The dream was so real!”

“Was it a real long dream?”

“I was scared. I was alone and scared, Eddie.” Her eyes were moving about the ceiling as she lay flat on her back telling me all this.

I took off my socks and threw them like a ball across the room. Perfect swish into the Darks hamper! I looked over at Helen, but she missed it.

“Then I saw this tall figure through the trees. It was a man. I knew it was a man. I saw a flash of his bare chest.”

“His bare chest?”

“I ran after him.”

“You ran after him?”

“As fast as I could. I needed to find him. And then I…”

“Yeah?”

“Then I…”

“Then you what, Helen?”

“I ran into you.”

“Me?”

“You were dressed only in your faded-white bun-huggers and black socks. Your golf bag was slung over your shoulder.” Her eyes closed tight then and stayed shut, but her voice rose in anger. “You asked me to help you find your fucking golf ball!”

I’d heard enough. I got up and headed for the bathroom almost dropping my briefs onto the floor, then thought better of it, and placed them carefully into the hamper marked Whites before Helen had one of her hissy fits.

Helen and all her silly dreams, I thought. Sometimes, you just had to laugh.