Falling Hollies

"One amazing Healer, really." Strikepaw's mew filled the black cat's ear as the two stood outside Mothermouth with rain rushing through their pelts like blood from a wound. Falling Holly was hardly listening to her cheerful friend, whose paw tapped against her shoulder as if trying to summon her from her thoughts. With her muzzle to the sky, she was trapped in her own mind, in her own world of wonder and comfort. Her ear was adorned in a leaf wrap, a remedy for an excuse of how she got an injury. Strikepaw took her ear off with mews and yowls about plain nothings every moment she could, and Falling Holly found the injury a sweet way of escaping everything the tan cat had to yowl at her again.
         Strikepaw always had these grandiose ideas, about how she would revolutionize the clan and how much better it would be under her leadership. Falling Holly thought that Raincavern was doing fine, albeit a bit old for the role and a little too lenient on the strays and waifs being brought into the Clan. She knew she had to tolerate them, she was the Healer's apprentice after all and it was her job to make sure nobody died for stupid reasons, as much as she sometimes wanted them to. Strikepaw however thought that she could always do better, it was what made Strikepaw Strikepaw, after all.
         The vague form of a few cats cut through the pouring rain much too far away for Falling Holly to make out who they were. They carried limp prey from their jaws, and she knew from the way the lead warrior walked that they were Moss. She at once straightened herself fully, bringing her chin up properly as Strikepaw threw her a confused look. Moss padded through with a dignified nod to Falling Holly, ignoring Strikepaw entirely as the hunting patrol followed through into the caves. No affection was in Moss' gaze as he padded past her, but she knew to accept that. After all, it was duty and what was to be expected by a Cavernstar cat. She, unlike Strikepaw, was a direct descendant of Cavernstar and had been taught to carry herself and her pride as such. She was told she couldn't be more thankful. She couldn't be more thankful.
         "I was just saying... Imagine Moss as the clan leader... I wonder what would happen then. Who's worse, Moss or Sparrowstar?" Strikepaw narrated into her ear. Falling Holly knew she could hardly talk against Moss. He was her father, after all, even if Strikepaw seemed to have forgotten as such.
         "Sparrowstar still has Citrinestar traumatised to this day," Falling Holly said simply, her body not lowering from its proud stance. Moss was nearby, she knew it. Yet despite getting an answer, Strikepaw rolled her eyes with a dramatic sigh and a flick of her tail. "You know, Falling Holly, you're no fun anymore. I miss you; I miss the real you. I remember our days in the nursery, where we had fun, playing and batting eachother over the ears. Now every time I try to demonstrate anything to you, you already know or you can already do it better than me or you don't want to listen. I know being a Healer's apprentice is isolating but come on Falling Holly, something changed. Something changed, with you, with life, with everything! What happened to you, Falling Holly? Where did the fun go?"
         What happened to you, Falling Holly? The question rang in her ears as her friend pointedly looked away from her with a harsh exhale. What had happened to her? She remembered the playful nights in the nursery and she remembered being grilled on everything wrong with her as she tried to get up from a pool of her own blood. She remembered playfighting with Strikekit and she remembered fighting for her life against an opponent who claimed to care yet spoke only in violence. She remembered being scolded by Strikekit's mother for playing too hard and she remembered being beaten back down for not getting up gracefully enough. She remembered sharing food with Strikekit and she remembered her jaw being slashed open for not carrying prey delicately enough. She remembered a lot. All of it to help her, but was it really? She had had doubts for a long time now, and every time she was beaten back down they screamed in her ears. She was a Healer, and yet she could beat her best friend in a fight as if it were nothing. She had no need to know what she knew. She had no need to fight as she fought. She had no reason to continue putting up with what was happening to her.
         "Being a Warrior isn't fun, its duty. Now, sit up like you mean it and stay here until I'm back." Moss padded through with a harsh step, this time alone, scolding Strikepaw for no reason. Strikepaw recoiled, but Falling Holly knew better than to retaliate for what had just happened. At least Strikepaw would keep her two ears working for talking back. Yet as Moss slipped into the rain, Strikepaw made no attempt to fire back as she usually did.
         "Imagine that thing as our leader. I'd rather kill him than live in CavernClan under him," Strikepaw finally spat out as the leathery sheets of rain absorbed the black cat into its midst.
         "He won't be." Falling Holly's words shocked herself as Strikepaw turned and gave her a confused look. "But if he does, follow what you know is right. An unjust leader is a dead one, and cats will rally around someone who defies a brutal leader. It happened with Sparrowstar, it happened with Hazecavern, it will happen again. Someone must stand up to it, and not every cat can handle such a task." Falling Holly found her paws slowly, gracefully as taught, and began to haul herself into the rain.