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Rated: ASR · Fiction · Comedy · #2329289
Inspired by the 2013 Charlie & the Chocolate Factory London Musical
"Emergency Pants" - (Complementary garment storage for all your wardrobe malfunction emergencies.)

Pantaloons for all shapes and sizes including but not limited to; Bootcut, malnourished, Flared, Straight, Narrow, Wide-Leg, Wider-Leg (Similar to the wide-leg but with more horizontal room), Baggy, Pirate Baggy (similar to baggy, but only available on September 19th where everyone talks like a scurvy dog), Pre-Torn, Post-Torn, Jeggings, Low-Rise Jeggings, Capris Jeggings, Cargo, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Mutual Friend, Friend-Zone, Acquaintance, Colleague, Mom Jeans, Grandpa Jeans, Uncle Jeans, High Waisted, Shallow Waisted, 5-Stars Waisted (For anyone who has incidentally committed Grand theft Auto), New Years Waisted (You can only wear them on April 1st), College Party Waisted (Pockets filled with regrets and contraband), Low-Rise, High-Rise, Mid-Rise, Skinny, shorts, tearaway, etc.

It's unclear if Mr. Wonka was making half of these up to be more "inclusive"...
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