Wherever you are

Mom? Hi!

I’m not really sure how to start. I hope you’re doing okay, you know, wherever you are. I’m 26 now—getting older, pretty serious, huh? Haha. I even have some gray hair coming in already. I don’t have much of you left here, but I keep thinking of you so you won’t be forgotten… just in case there’s an “after.”

Guess what? I found my little sister! Yeah, Lena! After sixteen years without her, I finally found her. She’s all grown up now, but I can still see the little girl she was.

Your sister still talks about you. Sometimes I hear this anger in her voice when she mentions you, and it makes me so upset. I wish she could just let it go. You’re gone… you shouldn’t have to be blamed or criticized after everything. Now that I’m older, I get it. I see how lost you must have felt, how alone. And I understand now. I understand you.

I know you had a lot of people against you. Your anger sometimes pushed people away, but now I know why it was there. You had so much trauma from the start. I just hope you found peace somewhere. I really wish I had just one picture left of you, Mom.

Things aren’t easy for me here, especially with family. Their words used to hurt me so much, but it’s different now since I found Lena. Your sister’s been acting strange, kind of like how she did with me when I was about 16, but now Jenny has me to protect her from it all. I’m doing everything I can to keep the negative energy away, to shield her from the family stuff that could break us.

It’s mostly just me and Lena out here, but we’re okay. We’re finding people who feel like family kind and caring people who support us. So don’t worry about us, please. You can rest now. I’ll love you always, Mom.