Rap of Thoughts

You know I used to want to kill myself,
Ig uess I still do a lil,
But did you ask me how I feel,
NO,
When I cry time stays still,
Sometimes I would look at the pills,
Like what's the deal,
If i take one,
They say l'm mentally ill,
Like for real,
Duh,
I might run off to the hills,
Cuz feel like Ive got no skills,
Bitch this is the real deal,
This shits not a drill,
Do you no how it feels.
When you know you're not,
Pretty enough,
Or skinny enough,
Or busy enough,
You see I was always the gifted child growing up,
Ahead of the curve,
I could naturally learn,
Grades all a's no b's c's or d's,
See,
When I lost that ability,
And I couldn't study,
There was no guarantee
Not to be average
That's failure to me,
Now l'm average in everything,
Smarts, talents, looks and personality,
Cuz my mind is the sea
And the girl whose drowning.
From thoughts so deadly,
Has always been me