No ratings.
I have an avoidant father, so I'm writing on my grief |
Take it all, take it all This sweet devotion of mine That I rendered onto you Take it all, take it all This heartfelt love that I besotted unto you Believing that I could have a happy ever after You raise hopes Like mountains, they shoot for the stars Creating a tapestry of dreams and aspirations But your swift turn breaks everything Destroys the words of hopes and the eyes of aspirations You leave me speechless and broken So, take it all, take it all The pedestal I granted you The innocent smile I gave you Take it all, take it all The bubbly voice of joy I once had The flutter in my heart when I hear your voice All I asked was for a dad And you came in My joy knew no bounds But you did little to hold that joy Disappearing for weeks, months even Leaving bills uncleared for my mother My mother who would run the world, If my brother and I were to die She is a queen A queen that held us regally A queen that ruled better than you A parent that supersedes everything of you So, take it all. Take it all My short-lived memories of you My ache when you don't pick up the phone Take it all, Take it all My hopes every time I see a message, thinking it's you My illusions of finally relaxing with you Now I'm a shadow Anger malicious hands have mingled with grief on my being Joy leaves as I'm naked for the world to see Tears sprout from my soul But my eyes dry Only glaring intensely at your picture whilst breathing sighs of sadness Why, why did you hold me So tenderly Saying we would take the world My brother, a realist Saw your fade But I believed in the good of people, even when I saw your red flags. Take it all, take it all There's no remedy to help me Or a cure that will remove your mistakes that are forever etched into my bleeding heart Take it all, take it all This love I had is water under the bridge I'm no longer chasing pavements Take it all, take it all My love has morphed to anger And I regret ever knowing you, father Take it all, take it all The Lord will be my father He will guide me Take it all, take it all, I beg This pain you left When I thought you were the real deal Real men don't run from problems They face it They protect their families But you're a Disneyland father Swoop in magically with bribes And go leaving me with wanting but knowing it's not coming So, take it all, take it all I'll hold my mother And sweep your essence into the river Lea or river Niger Take it all, take it all I won't deny it, I miss you terribly and love you as a father But you are no dad, so I won't grieve you as such Take it all Take it all Take it all The sweet innocent child is gone |