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there are two options. follow the rules, or dont. |
WORK IN PROGRESS ?
Day one
I am in a smallish room. I can walk about 4 steps from one side to the other. There is a bed in the corner, and an old looking sink with a slightly cracked mirror.I can see a security camera watching me. Everything is far too clean and the walls are made of a cold concrete. The floors are white tiles. There is no door, but a small slit in the bottom of the floor. On the other side is a list of rules. The rules are as follows
Write a note to yourself everyday, explaining the events of that day. A piece of paper and a pen will be supplied. Once you finish read it out to the camera or, if you are unable to speak, show it to the camera. Only then can you get food.
The security system beeps to mark an hour. At midnight lights will turn out and you must be in bed.
Finish whatever food when it is given to you.
Avoid staining your floor, bed sink etc with blood. It's better to be hygienic.
On your first day it is suggested you write your name and whatever you can remember down.
I am torn between trying to escape or following the rules. I am only writing this note because i have been here 5 hours and i am hungry. My fingers are hurting as I write because i attempted to wedge the slit in the wall open with my fingers. I don't know if anyone is watching. I am shaking as I write. I don't know if it's fear or low blood sugar. Maybe both. I don't know I got here. My head hurts if I try to think too far back. But I do remember my name. My name is
Elian. I also remember I want to be an architect when I grow up. I've checked every inch of the walls.The sink gives water, but only when I tap it three times in a row. If that's a trick, I don't know why. Maybe just to make me feel like I'm learning something. There's something carved into the underside of the bedframe. I had to lie on the floor to see it. Four tally marks and the words: "DO NOT BREAK THE RULES." I don't know
what that means. Maybe I'll find out. The pen is thin, like a hospital pen. Easy to snap. I already tried to wedge part of it into the wall crack. Nothing. I'm reading
this now to the camera. -Elian
Day two
After I read yesterday's note I was given food. I think I might give up on escaping and follow the rules until they let me go. The food yesterday was decent. It was some kind of lentil curry with a glass of water and gluten free bread. I ripped the piece of paper I am writing on now in half and used my pen to draw. I have been designing buildings. I don't want to forget myself. I have read the rules over and over. I think I have memorized them. Write a note to yourself everyday, explaining the events of that day. A piece of paper and a pen will be supplied. Once you finish read it out to the camera or, if you are unable to speak, show it to the camera. Only then can you get food.
Why "suggested"? Why only on the first day? What happens after? Seven beeps since the lights came on. I've started counting them out loud, just to hear a voice. Even if it's only mine. I'm bored beyond belief, but I've been pacing to stay active. Four steps, turn, four steps back. It's mechanical, but it helps. For now. I keep repeating
to myself: Maybe repetition makes it real. Or maybe I just need to believe it. Still no buzzing from the lights. Maybe the message under the bed was a prank. Or maybe that's just what it wants me to think. I'll write again tomorrow. --Elian
Day 3 The list of rules is longer. It says "do not touch your back or face" I don't understand why that's a rule now. I have devised a plan to escape. I am not going to read this part of my note out. I am going to read my note and wedge something in the slit when food comes. I don't know what I'll do from there. I'll probably call for help. I tried calling yesterday. I screamed until I couldn't anymore but it was no use. I have started to not bother about the time anymore. I have a routine , and I am holding onto it with all my strength. Wake up Drink water 40 laps back and forth I usually sit down at this point and draw buildings,bridges anything of the world out there. Go back to bed , nothing else to do. Wave up after 4 beeps Write and read out note Go back to bed Eat.
I also try to imagine I'm still outside sometimes. Not often though.
Day four I have ran out of spare paper. I crammed my drawings behind the sink so i can find them later and remember. The attempt to escape did not work but I think I found out something. After reading the note I sat on front of the slit for half a beep and nothing happened , but as soon as I wasn't paying attention they slipped a piece of paper.
A human might be cooking the meals. A human is better than a robot, they have more of a chance of having some kind of sympathy.
Day 5 There was a photo with the food today. I didn't see it at first. I had turned my back when the slit opened, to test it again, and when I turned around, it was just sitting there. Tucked under the bread like it belonged. At first I thought it was one of my drawings, but somehow returned. It wasn't. It was a photograph. It showed me, I think. Or someone who looks like me. Sitting on this same bed, same clothes, same posture--but the expression is wrong. It looks blank. Empty. Like something pretending to be a person. Or maybe like a person after something has been taken away. It had too many eyes. Far too many. It made me sick to look at. Not afraid, just sick. Like I'd been punched in the stomach by something invisible. I didn't eat. I couldn't. I stared at the photo for maybe a full beep, just holding it in my hands. Flipping it over. There's nothing written on the back. No numbers, no marks. Just the image. Printed on slightly glossy paper, like the kind you'd get after a rollercoaster, of you screaming with your hands in the air. I started
wondering: how old is this? I started imagining the person who printed it. Where they stood. What angle they used. Whether they're watching now to see how I'd react. I stared at the camera for a while. Not in defiance. Not even in anger. I just looked at it, waiting for something to happen. It didn't move. So I tore the photo in half. It didn't feel defiant. It felt like self-preservation. Like I couldn't let that image exist anymore. Like it was already doing something to me. I kept tearing it--again and again--until it was in maybe twenty pieces. Tiny ones. I scattered them into the sink and ran the water for a second. It didn't help. The face is still burned into my head. The worst part is: I don't remember sitting like that. The way my shoulders were curved, the way my hands were resting. I don't remember ever looking like that. But it's me. It has to be me. I didn't get food again after that. I read my note, but I didn't eat it. I just stared. Maybe that breaks the rules. I don't know. I don't even know if they care about the rules the way I was told to. I keep thinking of all the people I used to know. Or maybe imagined I knew. It's starting to blur. Names don't stick anymore. Faces slide off like wet paper. I try to focus on one memory, just one. Something small. A dog barking on a street. The smell of a bus. Music from someone else's headphones. But even those feel like I've borrowed them from someone else. If I disappear slowly enough, maybe they'll replace me with the version in the photo. The blank one. I want to make something again. Draw something. Write something that doesn't feel like I'm unraveling. But there's no paper. Just this, and I've already started writing in the margins. I don't know what day it really is. I'm still calling it five. I tore the pieces up. I don't know what I'm trying to protect. Maybe the part of me that still thinks it matters. Maybe the part that remembers I'm real.
Day 6: I think boredom will end me first. I stopped following my routine. I want to break something. Maybe I will.
..
I did it. I found a metal pipe attached to the sink that wasn't screwed on quite as tight as the other ones. I don't know if I was supposed to find it. The water doesn't go through it, it's just an unnecessary piece. I ripped it off the wall and smashed the sink. I don't really know why it didn't flood the room. I smashed my bed frames. My bed is crumpled in half. I smashed the mirror and used the glass shards to cut up my mattress. I put paper on the security camera and hid one of the glass shards under one of the tiles on the floor. My room is in ruins. I have decided, to make it easier for myself, if i write something on a note I don't plan on saying, I will underline it.
I am awaiting food now.
Day seven: I got food. A chicken burger with a gluten free bun and chips. I slept in the middle of the ruins last night. When I woke up it was back to how it was. It's immaculately clean. I can't find the tile I hid the glass under, but I know they didn't find it. They didn't replace the mirror. I cant see my face anymore. Also I have discovered a rash on my back. I can move something under it. Under my skin. I really want to itch my back but if i break any more rules i dont know what will happen. Sorry todays entry is so short. I spent most of my time sleeping.
Hey guyz um just a warning blood is mentioned in the following few entries ? -ruby
Day eight: I don't know if I'm imagining it, but I can feel the rash spreading. My back feels tight, almost like my skin is too small for what's underneath. My body is betraying me, changing in ways I can't control. Instead of just feeling it move, now I can hear it. There's this quiet, faint sound underneath my skin--like a soft rustling, shifting. I know it sounds insane, but I swear, it's there. I don't know what to do with that. I don't know if I've been here for days or just hours. It's impossible to tell anymore. Time feels like it's slipping away. The routine helps. It's predictable. But it's also... empty. Like it doesn't matter how much I follow the rules. Nothing's real. There's something more happening. I feel it. Someone's watching. Even when the camera's covered. I hear the clicking sometimes. Or maybe it's just my head playing tricks. I don't know. But I feel it. Maybe I'll try something different today. Maybe I'll break it all again. I don't think it'll matter. I don't think it'll make a difference anymore.
Day nine: I don't know if I'm still myself. I feel different. I covered the camera this morning. I still felt watched. I don't know how to explain it. I can't stop thinking about the noises, the whispers, the strange hum that's been filling the room when everything else is silent. It's not the usual beeps. It's something different. And it won't stop. I want to pull out whatever's under my skin. But I don't know what will happen if I do. It could be worse. I think it's worse already.
Day eleven The food today was nothing new. Rice and chicken, some bland vegetables on the side. But my hunger has started to feel distant, like it's not even mine anymore. I ate without tasting it. I just shoved it in, trying to feel something normal, but it didn't work. The rash is taking over. I can't ignore it anymore. The bumps are bigger, the movement underneath sharper now. I think it's growing inside me. I don't know if I'm imagining it, but it feels like it's spreading further down into my arms, into my legs. Every time I look at myself, I see it more clearly. The way it twists under the skin. I don't think it's just my body anymore. I spent the entire day walking around in circles, trying to keep my mind off it. Trying to focus on something else. But it doesn't help. I can't stop thinking about it. And the walls--they feel like they're closing in again. I hear the beeps in my head sometimes, even when they're not there. I'm not sure if it's the isolation or something worse, but I think I'm starting to forget what it was like outside. I don't know if that's normal. I don't know if I'm supposed to remember, or if it's better that I forget. I feel... distant from everything. Like I'm in this place, but it's not mine.
Day nine:
The skin under the rash broke. A jagged line, right across my back. I didn't even feel it at first. just a wetness, something sticky and warm spreading over my skin. When I looked, there was blood, but there was something else, too. Something darker, deeper. I thought it was just infection, at first. But when i tried to move it, it broke from my back and stuck out behind me. Feathers are on the floor. I am scared to look at myself.
Write a note to yourself everyday, explaining the events of that day. A piece of paper and a pen will be supplied. Once you finish read it out to the camera or, if you are unable to speak, show it to the camera. Only then can you get food.
The security system beeps to mark an hour. At midnight lights will turn out and you must be in bed.
F?????????i???????????n???????i???????????s??????h???????? ??????????w?????????????h????????a?????????t????e????????v??????????e???????r???? ??????f????o??????o??????d??????????? ??????w?????h??????????e?????????n???????? ????i???????????t????????? ????????i???????s???? ???????????g??????????i???????????v????????e????????n???????? ????????????t??????????o????????? ????????y????o??????????u??????????.?????????? ?????? ????????A???????v????????o??????????i?????d????????? ????s????????t?????????a????????i???n???????i?????n???????????g???????????? ????????y??????????o????u?????r???? ??????f?????????l????o???????o????????????r?????????????,???????????? ?????????b???e??????????d?????????? ?????s?????i????n???????k??????? ???????e???????t??????c?????????? ???????w??????????i??????t??????????h?????????? ????b???????????l?????????o???????o?????????d????????.?????? ????I????????t????????'????????s?????????? ?????????????b??????????e????????t????????t????????e??????r??????????? ???????t???????o?????????? ????????b?????????e??????? ?????h?????????y???????????g??????i??????e????????n?????????i???????c???.???? ????? ????????????
On your first day it is suggested you write your name and whatever you can remember down.
d????????o?????????? ???????????n??????????o????????t??????????? ?????t????????o???????u?????c???????????h????????? ?????y?????o?????????u?????????r?????????? ?????????b???????a??????c????k??????? ????????????o???????????r????????? ????????f????????a????????c????????e??????.?????? ????????
d????????o?????????? ???????????n??????????o????????t??????????? ?????t????????o???????u?????c???????????h????????? ?????y?????o?????????u?????????r?????????? ?????????b???????a??????c????k??????? ????????????o???????????r????????? ????????f????????a????????c????????e??????.?????? ???????? ?????????????
d????????o?????????? ???????????n??????????o????????t??????????? ?????t????????o???????u?????c???????????h????????? ?????y?????o?????????u?????????r?????????? ?????????b???????a??????c????k??????? ????????????o???????????r????????? ????????f????????a????????c????????e??????.?????? ????????
Idk how to follow that so heres the songs i listen to while i write this :D Little dark age - MGMT slowed Take a slice slowed-glass animals Rammstie -sonne slowed best part Aleph (Gesaffelstein - slowed) Washing machine heart super slowed
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