A Note to Blah Blah Blah (Middle-Part 2)

A cam girl and a client engage in a discussion on the shape of things to come.

Continuing from A Note to Blah Blah Blah (Short-Part 1) https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2340676-A-Note-to-Blah-Blah-Blah-...

“You really went too deep this time.”

The words make their way into my consciousness. I see them and am surprised by them, disturbed by them. I catch hold of them and turn them this way and that, trying to find out what they mean and from whence they issued. They pull me up from my sleep into consciousness, and I find her in front of me. She is wearing a dark-colored full-sleeved T-shirt and probably hot pants.

“So, you are finally back. Let me check if you are at a hundred percent. What’s your name?”

I ponder on this for a while, searching my puzzled self, and hit upon the right answer as the fog dissipates from my mind. “I am not supposed to tell you that.”

“Very good. Now tell me, did you find the answer?”

“Answer to what?”

“Why you walked away.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Come on, don’t be a dick! You can do better than that.”

“Because I did not know the first thing about you. All I had were prejudices. Goodbye.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

“You are.”

“Where am I going?”

“On the biggest journey there is, the journey of life. Bon voyage.”

“But I am not her, you know."

“Right, you are my subconscious. Since I won’t be meeting her again, you will have to do.”

“Will you visit again?”

“I don’t know. Most probably not. This time I have said everything there was to say.”

“But I am not your subconscious, you know.”

“Oh, right, you are a psychologist. Sorry”

“Do you think now that you have said everything there is to say, she will stop coming in your dreams?”

“You tell me.”

“You are still not totally here yet. I am a cam girl, whom you hired to play a psychologist playing your subconscious, which has taken the form of the girl you saw once."

“And you are a credit to your profession.”

“Which one?”

“Both.”

“Out of all the cam girls in the world, why did you pick me for your experiment?”

“Because you looked like her and because you had studied psychology in college.”

"Why not go to a real psychologist?"

"I did."

"What happened?"

"He gave me a bunch of things to write. It did not help."

“When you were booking sessions to gauge my suitability, did you ever get aroused by me?”

“A gentleman doesn’t wank and tell.”

“That’s not how the saying goes.”

“Maybe in this day and age, that’s how it should go.”

“You sound very wise, like old wise, but your voice is very young.”

“Perhaps I don’t age. Perhaps, I am like Dorian Gray.”

“Who is he? Is he a vampire?”

“This generation's preoccupation with vampires! No, he predates vampires. He is a character whose painting got old rather than him.”

“You know, I may not know about this Dorian guy, but I do know something. There was somebody else who used to come in your dreams before the girl who looked like me started to. All of this that you did was not to escape but to return. Who was this woman who used to visit your dreams earlier? Family, relative, lover, wife?”

“She was more than all of them.”

“What can be more than all of them?”

“A friend.”

“A friend with benefits?”

“No, just friend.”

“You know, I could be your friend too.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because friendship takes history, and we have none.”

“Like all things, histories have also been known to have starting points. Maybe we could catch a movie. I hear Pathaan is good.”

“I would rather not.”

“Why not?”

“I was browsing Instagram, and I came upon thousands of pages of Muslim guys with doctored images showing themselves as Black pornstars wearing Muslim skull caps in the process of having sex with female pornstars, with images doctored to make them look like traditional Hindu girls.”

“You don’t say! How did you know they were pornstars?”

“Oh, I have been watching porn from a young age. I know all the pornstars.”

“All of them?”

“All of them.”

“That must have kept you quite “occupied.”

“Oh, yeah! I can jerk off for hours on end. The trick is to keep the lower body completely immobile, almost like it was paralyzed.”

"Ain't that a kick to the head!"

I start laughing.

"What's funny?"

"Sorry! What you said segued rather too well from what I said. Just a private joke!"

“Glad to introduce humor, even though unintentionally. So, who has been your favorite partner in joy?”

“It keeps changing, but after every foray into porn, two reactions remain the same.”

“Which are?”

“It leaves me with a feeling of guilt at the pain that they feel in deepthroating.”

“How do you know that they are in pain?”

“From experience.”

“Have you done a lot of that?”

“No, I had a tube inserted into my mouth to treat an ulcer, and it was painful as hell. Cigrattes have been bittersweet companions! So, if I could change one thing about the female anatomy, it would be to enable them to feel sexual pleasure from the stimulation of the throat as well. That is besides making them physically equal to males, which is a sine qua non for equality among the sexes, according to me.”

“What are you, a feminist?”

"What I am is horny."

"(Laughing) I am sure you are. But that sounds like a non-sequiter."

"No, it’s not. Onlyfans is not cheap."

"(Laughing harder) That's another non-sequiter."

"You see, male Onlyfans content is dirt cheap.

"Are you gay as well?

"No, I am not, but sometimes when I look in the mirror, I get a hard-on. Now, I don’t know if that makes me a narcissist or a homosexual, or perhaps, a narcissistic homosexual, if that's even a thing."

"How is Onlyfans relevant then?

The day there's physical equality between males and females, according to me, patriarchy will be over. Women will be as easily unclothing themselves as men do. Female explicit content will be as easily available as male explicit content is. What do you think will happen to Onlyfans prices? They will crash. And it will be so much easier on my pocket."

"(Laughing again) I think you are spinning these wild theories to hide your true self. You are a closet feminist, aren't you?"

“You know how I came across those Instagram accounts? I was looking for hot women. Similarly, I came across a feminist. There were all kinds of guys giving her hell about her clothes and views, and my heart goes out to her. However, some of the things she said rankled me. One of her posts is about how Muslims are being persecuted all over, especially in India, by theocratic governments of other faiths. In another post, she advocates for the Muslims being killed in Afghanistan. Who is killing these Muslims in Afghanistan? Muslims, right? The pattern is the same almost everywhere if one looks closely. So, the problem may be Muslims themselves. However, this feminist of Indian origin who has a foreign passport doesn’t even care to throw a thought in that direction.”

“Maybe you should argue it out with her.”

“I would never.”

“Why not?”

“The instinct for self-preservation. Everybody has it.”

“How do you mean?”

“She would hammer me six ways to Sunday. I think the Elon Musks of this world are doing themselves a major disservice by not hiring plenty of women, particularly feminist women. They can find patterns in places where others won’t even imagine to look.”

“What’s your grouse with feminists really?”

“None. I love them. I just don’t like the company they keep.”

“Such as?”

“Marxists. Islamists. I mean if my theory that equality between the sexes can only come from physical equality between men and women is true, who do you think will engender the kind of genetic engineering that can take care of that: women CEOs of biotech companies or the supreme leaders of Marxist nations, where women have never been in the highest office? That men in leadership positions are never going to direct time and resources in that direction is certain.”

“What about Islamists?”

“You know, around the time that the Instagram grooming was taking place, I came across a tweet by an Indian actress/feminist that Hindu guys don't do it for her. Muslim guys were where it was at. A tweet like that coming from a Hindu celebrity would have nothing if not exacerbated the situation."

"You should have told this to her."

"I saw the replies. They were full of expletives by Hindu males. I don’t think a reasoned response would have stood a chance. Besides, I don’t tweet."

"Why not?"

"When this happened, a tweet was 140 characters. Hardly enough to provide the context of the statement tweeted. And these short packets of context-less words, especially by celebrities, created a butterfly effect, engendering tsunami-sized events, over which they soon lost control."

"So, you don't like tweets and you don't like celebrities."

"I just think that celebrities should tread softly when they take to social media. And that Twitter should provide more space for context. See, that celebrity, she was making clear her distaste for advances by male Hindu hardliners. You know, the kind who dictate what women should wear and what they shouldn't wear and harass couples on Valentine's Day. She couldn't stand them, which was fair. This was not brought out in the tweet. Now the same feminist/celebrity married a Muslim politician from a party whose leader had once said that children make mistakes referring to rape. Do you think she will say anything against that party, or that she will be allowed to speak?"

"But that’s just one person."

Many years back, on New Year’s Eve in Germany, many Muslim immigrants from the Middle East molested thousands of women. The tragedy took such a huge proportion because the news channels withheld revealing the race or religion of the perpetrators for fear of offending minorities. And do you know what a group of some thirty feminists did? Wrote a letter to the government telling them not to single out or treat the perpetrators too harshly, as White German men were equally predatory. Talk about shooting oneself in the foot!”

“So, you think you can never see eye to eye with feminists?”

“I don’t know. I could go on and on, on the many ways we differ. I still want to. See eye to eye with them. However, it’s like it’s 1961. One of us is in Bonn, the other in Berlin. They are only interested in adding to the wall separating us, it seems to me. And I don’t have the wherewithal to tear it down.”

“OK. You never said what the other thing was about porn that rankled you?”

“How in cuckold scenes, it’s always the black man cuckolding the white man. Never the other way around. And the names of the sites, like Blacks on Blondes and others. It seems like the black men only want to fuck white women. The white men want to fuck white women. I wonder what’s happening with black women. They must be feeling pretty peeved with the whole situation. And what’s the rationale behind sites like Black Payback? What are these women paying for in these rough porn scenes? You should hear the dialogues. Black guys berating them for their lack of knowledge of Black achievements and more. They did not have much hand in the historical suffering of black people. And if the women started demanding payback for the suffering that they have undergone since time immemorial, who is going to provide the payback, and how will it ever suffice? I think with the black pornstars, it’s a lot of inferiority complex parading as superiority complex.”

"I think you are just lonely."

"Oh, I tried dating."

"Do spill the tea."

"I mostly encountered three kinds of women on Bumble. The first kind talked in a lingo I could barely get a handle on. I wouldn't be able to keep up. Conversation, the building block of relationships, would be dead. The second kind holidayed in places like Switzerland. I wouldn't be able to financially keep up. The third kind wrote beautiful bios, seemed really creative, and had interesting thoughts. But then there were other things. For one, they always selected 'socialist' in their political leanings and wrote things like 'If you are a rightist, swipe left" and "end religious hate."

"And are you a rightist?"

"No. But what they meant was that if you were against Muslims, you were not welcome."

"So, politically, what are you?"

I am the liberal who swipes left."

“What does this all have to do with not wanting to watch a movie with me?”

“Good question. Actually, all this has to do with not wanting to watch Pathaan with you.”

“You see, the Muslims in those Instagram pages were projecting themselves to be as sexually potent as the Blacks project themselves to be in porn. The Hindu males, like the Whites, were sought to be shown to be nowhere as virile, to put it mildly. The difference was that the Blacks were projecting this in action, in porn. The Muslims, they were just doctoring the images of Black pornstars to will themselves into sexual superiority. There were plenty of Hindu girls visiting these pages who were being misguided and groomed, most so by Muslim girls posing as Hindu girls. It was disheartening to see the Muslims harassing Hindu girls who had used their real names on the personal IG pages of these Hindu girls. And then there were private groups and whatnot. And do you know who the idols of these Muslims were? Muslim actors with Hindu wives. More than all of that, it was the movie Pathaan that was really emboldening them. Of course, going by the trailer, Pathaan's mom has to wear a burqa, while his love interest dances in what conservatives will call "skimpy" clothes. Perhaps, there's a burqa chosen out for her for when she becomes the wife or a wife, as is the case with so many Hindu girls."

“A desk is a dangerous place to view the world from.”

"That was said before Earth became Gaia."

"What’s that?"

"It’s a planet in a novel by Issac Asimov where all the beings are mentally connected and know what everybody is up to. Much like Earth today connected by the Internet, especially by social media. You can check IG profiles with names like Zalim. There are thousands of them. All with the same lascivious artwork and the same kinds of dialogues. It is a well-planned operation. It’s like when Hitler tested his Heinkel aircraft, he tested it first in Spain. IG is their Spain. And if these people are not stopped, they are going to take it a whole lot further."

"So, you are a Hindu?"

"I was born a Hindu. I have criticized Hindus as well, and yet, you did not ask me if I was a Muslim."

"Your degree of criticism has been far greater for Muslims."

Is that the only reason? A Muslim actress acts in the film Water, criticizing the plight of Hindu widows, but forgets to utter a word about the draconian and inhuman religious laws for Muslim widows. A Muslim superstar acts in the film PK, criticizing Hindu gods, but never in a lifetime says a thing about the Muslim religion. A Muslim novelist writes a novel about a dystopian Hindu state. It's made into a series, probably by a Muslim director, in which a Muslim actress stars. The series is called Lila. None of these actors ever utter a peep about the various ills of the Muslim religion. Muslims are criticizing Hindus. Hindus are criticizing Hindus. Who is criticizing Muslims, where there's a far greater need? Nobody. You know why? Because it's not allowed. Those who do, of any religion, get death sentences pronounced by Muslim religious leaders acting with total impunity.

Keeping with that spirit, let's add a few degrees more to the criticism. You know in 1971, the Bengali Muslims of Bangladesh were killed, plundered, and raped by the Pathaan Muslims. However, did the Bangladeshis and the Bangladeshi Muslims in India cheer for the movie Pathaan? I will give you one guess. And that tells you all that there is to know about most of the Muslims. I haven’t seen the movie, but going by one of the songs, Pathaan is somebody who makes friends out of enemies. As such, there is only one Pathaan that I have known in the Muslim world, and that was Anwar Sadat, Egypt’s erstwhile leader, who made a friend out of Israel. What do you think happened to him? He was shot dead by the Muslim Brotherhood, the inspiration behind Al-Qaeda and ISIS.

“However, the BJP government is equally to blame, they arrested the son of Rahul over a toke of weed in a private space and forced him to become Pathaan. Although maybe he would have done that anyway. The Muslims in India are set to come on an equal footing with the Hindus in the coming years, population-wise. The population percentage of the Hindus in Pakistan has gone down to 3%. Why is that always the fate of the minority in Muslim-majority nations, except for a few? Hell, why is there no secular Muslim-majority nation? And on the day that the Muslims are in the majority in India, do you think these actors are going to stand against the fundamentalists? I have a feeling that they won’t. They did not do so in Pakistan or anywhere else.”

“If you feel so strongly about all this, why don’t you do something about it?”

“You mean go to the law. Nah! I have a problem with authority. Besides, I am doing something about it.”

“What are you doing?”

“Talking to you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Surely, you have been recording this whole conversation and plan to make it public. I know you have been playing to my ego, drawing me in, asking just the right questions, all in the hope of catching me slip, to give you one hint of my identity.”

"What gave it away?"

"Little things like your distaste for me slipping through when you said, 'Ain't that a kick to the head!' instead of, 'Ain't that a kick in the head!'"

“You are right. I have been doing that. I record all my conversations.

"That a girl! But why the animosity?

"These Muslims sought to harm these girls, but you sought to harm the people who enable girls and women to become more, to dream more, to achieve more.”

“Which people are you talking about?”

“Feminists. You have taken plenty of indirect digs at them before. I wanted to know who you really were before our sessions ended. Today, you reached out your hand to yank them off their pedestal and pull yourself up in one swift gesture. That’s why you tested all your theories with a cam girl rather than go talk to a feminist. This was your Spain. All you are is a leopard in the end. And a dangerous one at that. You need to be stopped before you do any more damage.”

“I have insulted Islamists. I have insulted Marxists. I have insulted Feminists. Heck, I have insulted the Indian government. Who do you think is gonna come for me?”

"Even the CIA could not protect Salman Rushdie."

"Let's just say that some of us learn from the mistakes of others. So, do you still wanna catch a movie with me?"

“No. Working day and night leaves my body too chafed and sore. At the end, I am so tired that all I want to do is hit the bed. You don’t want to tell me not to release the recording?"

“Each of us has a set of drawers inside us. In the innermost vault of these drawers, there is a painting. When I seem to be losing my true north, I take a look at it, and it helps me correct my course.”

“Is it the painting of Dorian Gray?”

“No, this painting is the opposite of it. It never alters. When you look inside the innermost vault of the set of drawers you have, you will find this painting. It will tell you what to do. And if there is no painting, well then, I should have known better.”

“You know what they say."

"What do they say?"

"(Mockingly) When you play the game of cams, you either wank or die. (In a serious tone) So, is that it? Are you going?”

“I have one final thing to say. I don’t think you got what a leopard is all about.”

“Then why don’t you explain it to me like I was a child?”

“All I have is what it is not. Can you really explain a thing by what it is not to a child?”

“Seems to me simple enough. A leopard is what a tiger is not, and a tiger is what a leopard is not.”

“I used to know what they were about. For the life of me, I can't recall anymore.”

“Is this it?”

“This is it.”

I cut the connection, take off the voice modulator, take off the black clothes, and switch on the Discovery channel.

Continued in https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2340696-A-Note-to-Blah-Blah-Blah-...