Never complain about your neighbor

A man discovers what kind of woman isn't worried about being seen naked.

Rosie killed a bottle of liquid soap while showering. Getting out of the shower with it still running, she leans out the open window and throws the bottle into the neighbors recycling bin with a loud thud. This prevents her from having to figure out what to do with recycling. As she gets back in the shower, her neighbor curses, knowing it is his neighbor without even having to look. “That does it!” he says to his wife. “I’m going to straighten out our neighbor. They are always using our recycling bin and making loud noises in the middle of the night. Why, it even sounds like they are howling like a werewolf on the full moon!” He storms out of the house and walks over to the condemned look house their neighbor lives in. As he makes his way to the front door, he wonders why any self-respecting person would like in such a run down place, but it isn’t hard to conclude that the person who lives here has no self-respect. Banging on the door, he shouts, “get out here! I’m tired of your behavior. Don’t try and hide!” Rosie wonders what the commotion is all about, so she exits the shower, this time shutting it off first. Shaking herself off, so she doesn’t track too much water around the house, she exits the bathroom and makes her way to the front door. The neighbor is just getting ready to break down the door, when Rosie opens the door giving the neighbor a good look at what she look like fresh out of the shower: naked, wet and everything. “Can I help you?” asks Rosie, puzzled why someone would be over at her house. After looking her over, the neighbor regains his anger and says, “yeah, you can help me! What do you think your doing using our recycling so you don’t have to pay for your own? And what gives you the right to wake your neighbors up in the middle of the night just because it happens to be a full moon out?! What are you supposed to be, a werewolf?” “I am a werewolf,” says Rosie knowing he won’t believe her anyway. Figuring the conversation is over sense he would now think she’s crazy, Rosie starts to shut the door, but the neighbor puts his foot in the way of it closing. “Not so fast!” he says and Rosie allows him to force the door open. “I’m not going anywhere until you promise to be a quieter neighbor. And don’t think I will hold your word with much weight until I’ve noticed it as true.” Rosie looks around casually, already bored of the conversation. “You know, mister,” says Rosie after a moment, “I’ve eaten a lot of dessert lately, but it has been a little bit sense I’ve treated myself to flesh. It’s such a delicacy, needing to be discrete and all.” Before the neighbor can process what she just said, she pounces on him, knocking him onto the lawn. If anyone looked, they would only see tall weeds. The neighbor looks up at the naked woman pinning him to the ground as she drips all over him. “This has gone too far,” says the neighbor “I’m calling the cops.” “I confess, I’m surprised at your behavior,” says Rosie amused “most men in your position would just stare at my breast and have completely forgotten why they are here.” Before he can retort, Rosie snaps his neck, so he can’t scream, then drags his body inside before feasting on him, being sure to remove his clothes first in case she needs a spare set; waste not want not! Rosie is just finishing up, when there is a knock on the door. Upon her husband failing to return, the other neighbor went to see if he was still wringing out Rosie for her behavior. Rosie opens the door, dressed only in blood. The woman instantly screams and runs for the road. Rosie counts to three, then takes off after the woman. The woman didn’t even make it off the property. Rosie knocks her out and brings her inside. By the time the woman regains consciousness, Rosie had buried the man’s bones and tied up the woman. “Are you going to kill me?” sobs the woman. “Eventually,” says Rosie. She pause for a moment and puts her hand on her belly before letting out a loud belch. “Human has a great after taste,” says Rosie thoughtfully. Turning to the woman, she says, “Human meat can get tough over time if killed too long ago. You screamed, so clearly you were going to report what you saw here, maybe you are even related to the man I just ate.” The woman starts sobbing harder as Rosie continues, “regardless, despite what people might say about werewolves, we aren’t bottomless pits. I just ate, so there is no way I could fit another Human in my belly. I’m going to keep you alive until I get hungry, so you don’t get tough, as I think I already covered.” Looking down at herself, Rosie sighs, “now I’m going to have to shower again! Do you have a soap I can borrow? I just need it for one night until I have a chance to steal one tomorrow from a supermarket.” She leaves for the neighbors house.