The Volatile Heart: BPD Rhyme

The feelings I bare as being a person with BPD

I live inside a fever that refuses to subside,
Where every peak of rapture is a place I cannot hide.
The dial of every feeling is completely turned to ten,
And I crash from 'all-or-nothing' to the bottom once again.

There is no middle ground, no gentle slope to tread,
Just an instant switch from worship to the furious, bitter dread.
I fix my fractured compass on the one who seems to care,
A desperate, vital anchor cast upon the vacant air.

You are the oxygen, the structure, and the light,
Then you take a simple breath, and I am plunged to night.
The fear of being left, it has a taste of steel,
A raw and blinding terror that my whole soul has to feel.

I push away the hands that try to pull me from the brink,
Then drown in lonely silence when I'm left alone to sink.
I am a hundred faces in a quick and turning wheel,
A personality dissolved by everything I feel.

I mimic what you cherish, I reflect what you require,
To fill the endless chasm with a temporary fire.
But when the act is over, and the spotlight leaves the stage,
I am only shattered fragments, locked within an empty cage.

The agony's persistent, it is sharp, and it is deep,
A harvest of old sorrows that the wounded must still reap.
It begs for drastic measures, a sudden, blinding cease,
A desperate, awful rupture just to win a moment's peace.

My body holds the chaos that my mind cannot contain,
An inescapable pressure, like acid in the rain.
Forgive the frantic flailing, the cling, the sudden flight,
It’s not a choice of malice, but a terror of the light.

To be consumed by feeling, to drown within the swell,
Is to know the burning torment of this deeply guarded hell.
But I will mend the fractures, though the work is slow and hard,
And learn to hold the pieces of this sharp and broken shard.