GT- Satan's Bird!

GT and why he’s Satan’s Bird

My mother got a pretty stocky little white bird from a neat little pet shop. He was a Goffin’s cockatoo that had been just weaned and he was cute as a Button Quail (which isn’t that cute if you ask me.) At the time he was sweet as could be and he was fairly quiet. He could talk as well and say Hello and Hi.

However GT has a personality of his own now and let me tell you it doesn’t go well with my personality! As he got older he got smarter. Sure I call him stupid all the time but he’s actually too smart for his own good… well sometimes.

He’s in his terrible two’s stage now and he throws loud and violent temper tantrums constantly when no one is around except him and his toys. I’m sure in his mind that swing was evil to push him off like that when he was swinging upside down using only one foot. I’m sure his other toys come to life and mock and perhaps bite him. I’m telling you this is the mind of a neurotic bird! But besides his random temper tantrums thrown at inanimate objects he also has a mean streak toward some people, which of course includes me and I have no idea why.

I never teased this bird, I never abused him in any way and the most hurtful thing I ever said to him was “You’re such a stupid bird!” but I’m sure he doesn’t understand that anyway. Whatever the reason this bird HATES me, which is a shame because he was suppose to be my bird eventually… the blasted thing will live to be 80 I’m sure.

Now GT no longer talks, he no longer has to. Instead he mocks the Breeding pair of African Grey Parrots we have and that awful hideous growling noise they make whenever you get to close to the cage. Now their growling is OK simply because they only do it when you’re close to the cage, if you don’t want to hear it just don’t get too close to them. GT on the other hand is mighty impressed with himself (just like any toddler that disposed of a new ‘present’ in his diapers) at making this new noise and he does it constantly to get attention. Of course he doesn’t get it because as any parrot psychologist will tell you that to give him attention would only re-enforce this dreadful behavior.

Any way to get back to my point GT is a horrid little vicious bird. He loves my mother, loves my brother, loves the pet-sitter we hire when we go away but he is out to get my blood! This bird learned to unlatch the lock on his cage and flop out onto the floor where he’d chase the cat around the house and torture it by grabbing onto it’s tail and refusing to let go. Poor Tobey, what an embarrassing thing to have a bird attack you when you’re a cat! So when we found out what GT was up to we bought one of those metal hook clips that you see attached to pulleys. It didn’t even take him a week to figure out how to unlock that so we went to the hardware store and got one of those chain locks, you know the ones that look like a 0 with the little screw on it. Well it took him a little longer to figure that one out but he did it!

Eventually we started using bungy cords around the cage. At this point GT decided to take an easier route out. Instead of figuring out how to take off the bungy he instead learned to unscrew the hinges on his cage door. There goes to door, smashing to the floor and out flops GT gives me the evil eye of confidence and proceeded to charge my feet and attack them feverishly! Thank God I had sneakers on at the time or else my feet would have been torn to ribbons!

GT had to go to the vet one day and my mother was unable to take him due to work. I was free so I volunteered. The little brat defended his cage like a fire-breathing dragon lunging and biting and would not let me get him out. Out comes the towel, I’m not about to take a beating just to get some stupid parrot out of his cage. So I put him in the little carrier and we went off to the vet. He got paid back for his little escapade shortly after we arrived as they decided to draw some blood. His feathers all out of place, an aghast expression on his face and an attitude of a sore loser he went home and sulked. We had to listen to his baby noises for three days before he stopped sulking.

As you can see this is no bird to reckon with, if he doesn’t like you he never will! And by the way, GT’s new nickname is Pigeon simply because he is exactly that- a stool pigeon!