Eventful Affair

LUKE

Luke was the first guy I ever regretted leaving. He was 23 and I was 20. Two weeks before we separated we began a trial engagement - I even wore a ring. I was madly in love.

When Luke and I met I had just left one of his brother's friends. You see, I have a commitment problem. I was just looking for fun, enjoying life. I was always careful - I never went with strangers and I always used protection, and I never fell in love.

I fell in love once before when I was seventeen. He was called Stephen and I gave him everything, including my innocence. Then six months later Stephen died in a car crash. I was devastated. It hurt. So I stopped getting emotionally involved, protected myself.

So when I met Luke you could say I had been around the block a couple of times. (Except for the fact that I live in a small village in the Cotswolds). Luke was a typical young man. Petrified of any type of commitment. After a few more meetings we decided to get together - no strings attached fun.

BIG mistake If anyone ever says that to you - decline. We had been going out for five months when I realised that I was comfortable with him, a total novelty for me. I relied on him and looked forward to seeing him. Two weeks later he told me that he had fallen for me. Days later and our no strings attached arrangement was a fully attached relationship.

It was two months later before we decided to try a trial engagement to see how we would cope with the pressure. We were doing really well - for all of two weeks.

Then someone - a beautiful woman, came and told me that Luke had been sleeping with her for three months. She had pictures, everything. I was gutted. When I confronted Luke he denied everything, said that she was lying, her evidence was false.

I left him - walked away. I needed time to lick my wounds and think. He told friends that we had broken up because I didn't trust him. I guess it was true. Two months later I discovered that the evidence was fake. The woman was someone who had always admired Luke from afar.

Anyway, I apologised to him but it was too late. We had hurt each other too much to begin anew. So we went our separate ways. I moved to Slough and he moved to Street, different ends of the country.

Eight months later (two months ago) I received a phone call. It was Luke. He had left his job in Street and taken one in Slough. We didn't have to start again - we started where to left off.

We're still together. Perhaps we'll get married one day. Who knows. But I love him.

QUOTE: "Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one." From Ingomar the Barbarian by Friedrich Halm in a translation by Maria Lovell.

Love is scarey and it hurts. But everyone should experience it at least once.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this - it seems weird to have an important part of my life reviewed by strangers. Anyway, thank you SO much - it means a lot to me. I apologise for the bad editing the first time around, but I don't get much time to use the net, so everything has to be done quickly, hence this note instead of responding to individuals (sorry).

Anyway, just as a footnote I thought you all might like to know that Luke and I are getting married in August.

Love, Zal.