Refugee

When the Soviets occupied afghanistan in the 80's, Refugee was the main theme. Leila, a 12 yr old, stays with a family , after being separated from her mother while fleeing to Iran. She doesnt forget about being a kid, and grows over the years, encountering death, happiness, and even the greatest friendship of all . Love.
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Long ago lived a girl named Leila. She was a very good hearted person who was also crazy for adventures. She lived in the War torn country of Afghanistan. She had a father who fought for his country, but died bravely, only to leave his wife and daughter alone in a world where war and damage thrived. She was one of the many Refugees there living, and impossible events happened all around. They were in between the crossfire of countries around, and weren’t given the chance to live suitably. When the Russian soldiers occupied the country, many were forced to flee to either Iran or Pakistan, the neighboring countries. Obviously it was something the Afghans did not want to go through, getting around all obstacles, facing death day by day.
Leila’s mother came from a rich family. Her name was Zainab. She was one of the most beautiful women of her village; also with one of the best hearts. She was proposed to men of old age, to men younger than her. Her heart decided on a poor man with Islamic goodness in his heart, which also made her laugh away life’s hardships. When money was tight, and war continued, he became a soldier mainly for Allah’s sake, and also to support his family. He was ranked to a high status, and treated his men and other men fairly, but then died when Leila was only 4.
After that many wanted to marry the lovely Zainab, she refused and stayed with her own mothers’ friend, and helped her live and cook. When the day came where they had to walk by foot to the country of Iran, they became tired of the aches and pains physically and mentally.
Leila was walking along side of her mother. It was hot, she felt like a parata(bread) in an oven. Little beads of sweat would drip down her neck and her cheeks were flush and sticky. It felt like a rush of hot air was suffocating every inch of her body constantly every time. Her half slipped Hijab (scarf) showed Leila’s light brown hair tangled in its own suffering. Leila’s grey eyes looked wearingly at the stones and bricks broken from the recently built schools, and shops. You couldn’t tell that only a few months back, life and futures filled it. She wanted to stop, for it felt as though her bones turned into stone every second. Zainab only walked straightly, did not limp or whine, but kept her daughters hand and fed her comfort. This was all day, for days, weeks and months for they had to cover thousands of miles. Hunger was solved with what they caught, if nothing was caught, then anything had to do. Leaves, worms, and even sand was the only option. How they did it, we may never know. When it was night, everyone would pitch the tent up, stay till sunrise, pray, and go to their destination. The intense heat absorbed in the black scarves the ladies wore. It made them so weary to the point they would pass out. No water could revive them after the collapse. And sometimes they would never get up. The enemy soldiers were very aware of this. They would push the refugees to quickly leave, and shoot them when they didn’t listen or felt like having ‘fun’. Not all soldiers were like this, but they did exist. One case included an old lady needing to pause for a rest, while sitting down. She was kicked by a commander because she cursed him after he did the same. She cried with helplessness and the commander told a young solider to shoot her to “get her over with”. The babies would die, not because of violence, but simple because of starvation. It was very blessing for a day to go on without a similar story.
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One day Leila was dried. She was hot and sick. Very sick of the circulating heat. She knelt down to her burning feet, and breathed harshly. She looked down surrendering and tried to swallow the only source of water, her saliva, but it was so thick, and sour she could have chocked. Leila began crying, she couldn’t help it, it was too much, and she couldn’t care less about anything. On officer near by came by and saw the commotion and turned to a solider and told him to shoot her. The solider was shocked .There they were, in a blistering heat, and everyone was crowding around sing what the commotion was about. There still lived a curiosity in most people, even though you would expect it to die out. It was almost sunset at that time, and the tents were already pitched. No on knew the silent command the officer told the solider. The solider look young and innocent. He looked worried and scared and looked around blankly and picked up a gun. He adjusted the gun, and the commander looked at him square in the eye. H yelled in Russian. The Solider looked terrified, and pointed at Leila while she was sobbing to herself, not knowing her destiny. Soon every ones attention saw the gun pulling up. Zainab realized what was happening. “ Noo noo nooo” she screamed in agony. She grabbed her daughters arm, but the other soldiers pulled her away successfully. The Afghan men were coming up to help, but were stopped by the numerous guns the soldiers reflected. The lonely Solider looked at Leila’s face. “Shoot. Her” The Commander told. There he took out a hand gun and stuck it on the soldiers head. The sun was almost down.” Do. IT. now.” He whispered mortifyingly. The soldier chocked down a nervous lump, and breathed harshly silently. He pointed, and shot and she fell down, like a cup knocked down a table. The commander said “good boy” and left him, with the other soldiers wrenching away Zainab who screamed and cried in an endless pain trying to reach to her daughter. The solider fell from his own shock and gasped in the air and tried to suck in back the innocence like leeches suck on blood. He hyperventilated from his shock and sat there while many of the Afghan men beat him. The sun was down.
Mariam, went up to the girl she thought was dead, Leila. She looked at her in horror, hardly letting her heart beat. Then she noticed that the soldier had shot her in the shoulder. Mariam was a well-respected doctor in her village, and was one of the rare women ones. She had a well-known family, especially a husband who was fond of speaking out his mind, and 3 children. Two sons, 13, and 4, and a girl 7. Mariam put her arms under Leila’s body and carried her to her tent. No one was there at the time, for they went to pray Maghrib* namaz with other the others. All went except Mira, who stayed by her moms’ side watching with curious eyes, as her mom trying to take out the bullet numerously, but kept failing. She had the important tools for emergencies like this kept with her. She used tweezers, and finally after half a hour took out the bullet. She began cleaning the disturbed wound. She placed some dirty cloth, which was all they had, in some water, and dabbed the wound hoping it wouldn’t lead to infection. With her teeth, Mariam tore part of her scarf to tie it around Leila’s shoulder to stop the bleeding.
Mira looked at Leila with limited curiosity, and then left the tent. Mariam was interested; she really felt she could get this girl to be healthy again. She smiled as she looked at the girl carefully, and acknowledged her youthfulness and beauty. She started to try and think of what to tell the girl when she was revived as she shooed a swarm of mosquitoes that kept biting both bodies. Footsteps and sounds of man chatting became louder after prayers and 1 entered the tent. It was Mariams husband, Salman. “Allah! What’s this? How could you bring her in here” he scolded in shock as he saw the recognizable girl.Mariam didn’t even think about what Salman would say but she kept calm. “She is not dead,” Mariam said confidently while stroking her arm. Just then her eldest son walked in. He stood there still, and walked out. Salman, looked back. “Why couldn’t you leave her, her mother is gone, she will have to live in such pain!” he asked mad. “She is still alive, we cannot let her bleed to death can we? It is our duty to help”
“And if she cannot live – what if she dies?”
“We tried”, she concluded
“And you will forever feel bad!” he said frustrated as he whipped out the tent.
She looked down on the dirt floor of her dirt home. The candle, which was he only source of light, blew away. She wept silently.

It was almost Sunrise and Leila seemed to be unknowingly recovering. Mariam was monitoring Leila’s every moment. She watched her twitch little which temporarily created happiness to Mariam, for she was sick and tired. She rubbed her eyes constantly and felt a breeze from the opening of the tent. Everyone was asleep, next to her. For the ones that understood what was going on Salman and her son Humza, they went asleep uneasy. Salman was arrogant about this, and showed his unsupport, while Humza tried to convince his mother to sleep. She looked at Leila, and kept staring at her locket. She amused herself and opened it. It was a
picture of Leila and her mother inside the gold locket, engraved with the word Allah. This made Mariam smile slightly as she looked at her kids, and closed it. She felt sad and happy at the same time. “ Momma why won’t you sleep?” Humza groggily asked as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Go sleep jannu”, Mariam told his son lovingly, rubbing his head. “Momma sleep here,” he sighed while pulling his mother down. “Ill watch that boy,” Humza said not thinking. “Girl—.” Mariam corrected easily as she accepted the warm gesture. He sat on the stool looking at the small girl blankly, and then thought about Cadbury bars that he dreamed about.
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Leila stirred. She opened her eyes straight at the beacon of sharp light. She felt out of place squinting. “Mami?” her voice coarsely called out. She cleared out her throat and got herself up. A sharp pain of looseness shot through her arm, and a dangly feeling replaced it. “Mami!” she squealed with the pain. Hamza put his head up from his accidental sleep. “Hey, hey calm down" he panicked .He put his hand on her arm to help her lay down. She looked at him as if she was going to kill him for not being her mother. But she laid down. Hamza woke up his mother and stood behind them amusingly horrified. Leila was laid on some thin sheets on the floor, bitten by rats and little animals looking for food. They were like smaller versions of the refugees. Mariam pulled up and examined the arm. “Don’t move or it will get worse” she advised. Leila looked at the stranger. “Where’s my mother” she asked horrified as she got up once again. Then the reminded pain struck through once again un mercifully. “Your mother told me to take care of you”, lied Mariam strain fully, for the good,. Leila could feel the sweaty warmthness of her own body fuse throughout her back while she tried to comprehend. Then she saw many people, a whole family, looking at her.
Days passed by, and Leila had a sling made out of a scarf on her arm. She was tired, sick and hungry. Hungry that even hunger ate through her stomach. She felt like passing out. She would feel dizzy at some points of the walk. She was also alone among the whole family. Her hair escaped harshly from her hijab over the scratches on her face. She looked down and occasionally up to see the airplanes dropping bombs and rockets. A bomb just 5 miles from her could be easily seen from just a day back. The bombs would shutter down her neck to such unstableness that she felt that the devil himself was shaking her. Its smoke penetrated through the breathing air. She looked to find Mira, the only daughter to her new found hosts. Mira was 7, while Leila was 12. It seemed best make friends with her. As sunset came, she would help pitch the tent. Her arms began to hurt especially the one that was healing. It felt more stiff, but she didn’t want to move it for she feared it wouldn’t move, or that it would hurt. Leila went into the tent and saw a bunch of sticks. She looked at Mira .She hoped to stop the madness and make her life a little more fun. She picked up the sticks and tossed it up in the air. She looked towards Mira. “Look Mira, I threw the sticks down, let’s see how many gaps in between I can fit my fist into”. Leila demonstrated it also watching the curious sparkle of Mira's eye. Even Kareem, the littlest child went up to the scene. “5 times” Leila sighed. She used to do better than that.
“Now you go”, she told Mira. Mira was skeptical and threw the sticks watching Leila with a careful eye of innocence. She knelt down and put her fist to count. She was cheating though by making the spaces larger and counting the same space over and over again. She was giggling as she said 24 billion. Leila smiled .Then it was Kareem’s turn. HE picked up as many sticks as he could and threw it in the air with all his might and when it fell on the floor distantly, he covered his mouth and snickered happily. He said he had 4 spaces, without counting. They all played nonstop ,for the 2 really enjoyed it. Hamza saw them all playing in the corner of the tent. You could see a spark of jealousy go through his system, because he felt left out. He had lost his siblings, his only source of fun, to a girl. Suddenly a stick hit him. All he heard was an Uh oh, from his brother. “Hey – boy?” Leila shyly called, “ya wanna play?”. He smiled at her “ohh well um okay” he chuckled. They all showed his how to play, and had a good time laughing. “KAzam” A loud noise interrupted the game. Rockets and bombs were dropping in like rain, and it seem to wash out all, if any, the fun that was growing. Leila’s' heart beated like the wings of a hummingbird as she looked to see if everyone was okay. She saw Hamza holding his siblings tight against him shielding any danger. A blanket of loneliness was her only feeling. She looked down silently things calmed down, and Hamza- Hamza looked at Leila confused and scared.
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"I dont know shes just so wierd, you know so cheery and all, but overdone",
Hamza told his friend Abu bakr about Leila. They were playing with bottlecaps they found on
the ground. They were usually very antiquish and rustic, they thought they could
make big money if they ever got out of their problems. Abu bakr just looked at
Hamza carefully. "I dont get what you mean by wierd, shes like a little girl, they are always
happy", Abu bakr responded carefully. Abu bakr was physically equal to hamza,
but his mental stage was far well above any young boy. Seriousness flashed
against his face all the time, but still drew Hamza torwards his friendship."I mean, there is something i jsut cant put my finger on," hamza said confused concentrating on some sort of conclusion while digging little holes in the
ground with his fingers to bury the bottlecaps.Suddenly his head arose spiritually , "SHes A spy thats IT!!" he exclaimed seriosuly taking out the bottle caps out from the ground.She came here to
conquer the Afghanis and the world, and she may use her smile so lure people in and take them away from their loved ones, and all that",He pointed out to nowhere",that thing that took place the other day, with her mom and all
... thats all a plot to do it, its a conspiracy, I know it." he said clenching his fists. " I didnt know she was that bad" abu bakr responded calmly. "Well maybe im just a little paranoid," he sighed "But there is something about her."
he sincerely said shaking the dirt off the bottle caps.Abu bakr chuckled a little while helping humza put his bottle caps togehter, for Hamzas mother called him from the tent. He then yelled a 'see you later' and ran off trying not to drop his fistful of treasures.
The next morning they began with their journey. It was dry and water was a wise mans treasure.Everyone was walking with their belongings on their backs."I dont know about this", said Salman suddenly." we can go and walk to Iran and then what?, why must this happen? how shall we live? Ive heard of what is to be
expected!!" Salmans voice sparked harsh and angry with the realization of what the future was going to bring them. "Its camp Mariam !tents and no life!!" he scoffed as he walked to the destined unfortune. "I work hard, I did my
schooling, I listened to my elders, I went to work, I dreamed of success, and oh! this is how its' promise turned out." Salmans voice was burnt out as he turned to Mariam. "And you, you are a doctor , how blessed is that , but now it's
finished because of this horrible war.. those Russians!!" he yelled. "Salman we will do fine..." was all mariam could say. She too did not know what to say for she was confused and was out of hope. Suddenly a bomb came down. It looked like fire crackers going the oppisite way. Everybody ducked and covered each other like human mauls of blankets. The loud displeased noise split through the lives and spirits , damaging everything. Since it was far away, they only had some clouds of sand wiping them. They all got up when the sand settle down. "I cant go on like this" Salman finnally demanded as he clenched his teeth and
hands in sorrow. Mariam, worringly, stared at the big open cut that slit her palm when she ducked earlier. She had no response.
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"What?" Hamza finally snapped at Leila, for she kept looking obviously at him.She hesitated but looked closer to him like he was something amazing. "Do you have blue eyes?", she busted in fascination. "Yeah," he replied with a half a
chuckle. He was always asked that question. It was remarkable how his eyes could have been mistaken for midnight. It perfectly matched his sun beaten tan skin,and his wind-tasseled brown hair. Leila looked down thinking in fascination. "You know," she began looking to him ", you don’t look quite like your family." Then another silly remark sprang up as she laughed. "Your the odd ball of the family," she teased. “Ha-ha yeah your kind of odd yourself" he said back. Leila’s smile slowly straightened out as she looked at the clods of sand, she was little hurt. Hamza then realized what it would have sounded like. "But really nice," he
tried to take back what he said in a melodious way. Leila still facing down lifted the corner of her mouth fakely, and was back to her straight face.

The night seemed sacred. The moon was full and lit the land beautifully. Leila stood outside the tent, while the family was inside the tent talking. Every week the family always agreed on having a family joke night, where they could tell some sort of jokes, or share some special story. All were happy and giggling off, telling stories about how when Salman was a kid. He had a grand father that would play all these practical jokes on him and his friends. So one day he went up to a bunch of kids and told them he was being attacked by a monster, and the kids were so scared that they all freaked out. Finally, he told them he was joking, and a Salman said his 4 yr friend said "Please, don’t do that, my heart can’t take that". The whole family cracked up and then Mira did a little fashion show wearing Mariams big clothes.

Leila was outside not trying to disturb their fun, and went near a buried log, that was half way deep and looked at the stars and moon. It was quiet .The moon was lovely. It reminded her of her mother. The moon was mysterious,quiet, yet admired, beautiful, and stood out silently. Just like her mother. Leila’s powerful grey eyes strongly looked at the sand. A chock rose up her neck. She gazed at the moon beautifully with a strong longing feeling for her mother, that only a child can give. Before, her mother told her if they ever do get separated, always look at the moon at night and her mother also will; that way no matter how far apart they are, they will always be connected by a moon. Her eyes were stinging softly and tears of love ran down her cheekand neck.
Things suddenly got out of track from the humor, and Karim wanted to tell his parents how to play the stick game Leila taught them earlier.Even the angered soul of Salman was extinguished that night, usually everytime they
held this. Karim was looking for sticks to demonstrate it, and Hamza sat in the corner of the tent.His arms were around his knees, only letting his eyes yup to be seen. "Hamza
"What are you doing?" his mom asked after seeing him not telling his usual jokes. Hamza kept an eye on Leila between the slit of the tent opening. "Nothing" he lied calmly and looked down. He was conviced she was a spy. "Hamza, go to sleep if you wont be happy with us" his mother scolded lightly. He looked a little
upset. Mariam looked displeased and confused, and shook her head asking Karim to finish his story. Hamza looked down feeling mad. Salman then looked to where Hamza looked previously,looked at Hamza and smirked to himslef.
Morning came and they began walking through rubble and rocks. They rolled up their tent. It seemed like they were carrying boulders because
of the starvations. A little boy was shivering in his bony knees from the wisps of weakness pumping in his veins. Hundreds of people were
walking alongside of each other. They didnt say much, because they were scared of the aiplanes that could come and bomb suddenly. That morning
they heard those peices of metal soaring through the air talking to them, threatining them. A heart beat was absent everytime the
planes came for a visit in the air.Leila carried a couple of blankets and a pot on
her back. She was hungry and stressed out which was even the enemy of hunger. She began walking and she started smelling something foul. It smelled like a butcher shop she used to go to. It always made her sick because she would go with her friends and end up waiting there for hours to get meat for their families.THe orgin of the odor became stronger and it pinched her
sense of smell. She then saw a bunch of boys looking and analyzing the source of this dispeasing smell. She walked past and stopped to see fly encrusted remains of a goat. The smell triggered her stomach and rose a chock , and she tasted the sourness in her mouth. "Hey anyone want to play buzkazi?"laughed one boy as he
kept looking at the goat. Buzkazi was a game where two people ride horses, and use a dead goat as a 'puck', and they must get it torwards
some goal.

With all the fright of airplanes killing the people, the action of death came a different way for one family. A mother was pregnant and had her baby. But it was a still-born, born dead. No amount of sadness could not substitute what happened. All the men went to a open area, and walked distant but side by side. The father carried his baby, all wrapped up,and walked disturbed with tears in his eyes. His eight year old son walked next to him. All the men had shawls on them and wiped their tears. They dug up a sqaure hole, and after recitations of the Quran, they placed the baby in the hole. Men
nodded in depression, and kept wiping their watery eyes, trying to be brave for the father. They then placed a layer of bark on top of it. THe brother of this baby stood there with extreme sadness and held a constant state of sorrow , but not letting himself cry. His jaw was open and he sucked the inner part of his lips. His nose flared, and tried to take in a deep breath from his it. His eyes were completely red and watery, and his eyebrows
were squished sorrowingly. He stared at the actions of the burial and tears went down as he zoned in a state of depression. Looking, staring ,and well aware of everything.They filled in the hole and stood for a while, and all walked back.
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"They say they are turning us back at the borders of Iran, and they want to walk
towards Pakistan." An older man, Ali, told that night. There were men
surrounded around a fire talking about problems to plans. "A fool hears to
quickly, and tells to quickly," another man, Zaki, said to him throwing grass into the
fire to let it burn. "Who said all this?” Salman asked Ali. Ali looked at
Zaki who offended him and glared at him. "I heard," he began and then
got serious."Salman, we must go back, we don’t want to waste time", he looked
toward him. Men around were chuckling. “Look, we must”, “he paused hesitatingly.
. He then started thinking. “I heard from people- they said that it was true"
he admitted. "And a fool does not take precaution." he said loudly so the Zaki could hear. "We always get our information by word of mouth Salman" he said
passionately, longing for some support. "We will go to Iran, nothing will happen.”
Salman said trying to be nice. He felt Ali was too old to know what was best. “Are you a
dimwit, how may we go all the way to Pakistan!!!, walk another lifetime?!” Zaki scoffed. He threw all his pieces of grass in the fire. "Look old man,
"he said going up to his face. “The whole point of this -this ‘journey’, is to get
outta here." he pointed at his face. Ali was mad, he stood there glaring at the
Zaki . who was more than half his age. “You’re going to die old man if you’re stupid enough to walk through that God forbidden place." The man snapped. "HOW could you talk to me like that, I am -", Ali snapped hurt. "Go! Get out of here- “the man said to
him. "Your a nut, no one will follow you." the man said. "Please son, listen to
me", The old man said to his son. "I'm sorry about everything" he sincerely said
looking into Zakis’ eyes. His son looked worried and impatient "Who want to follow him? GO now!" he yelled with pride. Some men shrugged, and some men believed that the elder were always wiser. They went the other way. Zaki looked at his father leave , limping on his cane. “I love you son" the father told him honestly. The son looked and his eyes watered. He looked up and tried to ignore him, and held his mouth closed trying to look like he had an attitude. He couldn’t believe he was going, he wanted to stop him from going, but his pride took/over. His father looked at his stature, and hugged him instantly. Zaki didn’t mold into the hug, he was as straight as ever. Zaki looked to the side and couldn’t take it, he didn’t want his home to leave no matter what. He couldn’t let him go.
"Father just stay with us, okay?", he said in a snap. "Son, I cannot live to be
turned back and walk more, I need to get out of here where I am guaranteed to get
out of this place". His son tried his hardest to suck in the pride before it
leaked out. "But if you want me to stay, I will, for you only, but I want you to
say you will be there for me." Pride and shame battled in his mind. Pride won.
"I will -" he breathed hard. "Ill see you later, father" He said . Ali looked to
His son and nodded heart fully. And walked off. Zaki’s eyes watered and hated the pride he carried. He didn’t know why he let the pride win as he watched his father vanish
in the distance. He turned to the men and they all looked at him unpleased, and
the men broke off to their tents and caves. Zaki looked at what he just did
and started looking around him, he began walking faster and faster, and then he
ran , ran though the cold night looking for his father like a mom for her
child. He ran and ran and was stressed and confused, looking side to side and
couldn’t find him. He broke down and cried on an icy patch on ground, knowing he
may never patch things up that he broke.
attempted.

A couple nights later , Hamza went to find some food. He went around , and he
caught some fish in the streams within the mountainous area. Food was like a
renewal process , a dry sponge dipped in water. They cooked it over a large fire
hey made that happened to take for hours. The smoke smelled excellent. It did
something for their stomachs, as if it filled them already. Salman then decided
to call on others to share the numerous fishes that Hamza caught. Word of mouth
went everywhere and many began bringing whatever food they had. Soon they went
to an open area, and put all the food together. The children would take their
mothers pots and fill it with water. Mira tried to crush some berries she found
at a bush to make the water more flavorful. To everyone’s surprise it was actually
turning out to be a success of a feast. One man actually caught a goat, and
cooked it for hours. It would be the main meal of the night. Chatter began
filling the air, and the smell of naan cooking that the women made from their
saved up flour was selective. You could see all the kids walking and going near
the food, and the women coming together holding the naan, kind of in a way
competing who makes the best naan. there was still that sense of humanity
within these people, and the human nature to compete, and chatter was evident.
The ground felt cool to the foots touch and felt even better when some people
brought in sheets for the ground. The atmosphere seemed tropical in a sense. It
seemed as thought Allah blessed this night into something that He felt they
deserved to have. Something they could not imagine it would ever be. Wedding like
senses were how it seemed it was. Leila looked around smiling, and saw the little
amounts of food. She felt a little embarrassed because it contrasted the numerous
people. She felt humiliated because she knew the point of this feast would not
be achieved, to satisfy ones hunger. Everyone sat down. The women with the women
, and the men with the men, Laughter was the music, and everyone had to agree it
was the best song ever. When the food was being served, Leila grabbed a piece of
goat and munched on it. she sat next to Mira. She was having a lot of fun. She
looked at all the girls her age that were sitting across from her but more
enclosed with one another. They all ignored her , and were into their own fun.
One girl even gave her a bad look. She sat their not caring but eating, for there
was so much food. She wondered why. Mira was talking to her little friends next
to her. she then looked at the girls again, and one of them pointed at her and
laughed. "There just jealous because your so pretty" Mira exclaimed noticing
their rudeness. The other girls agreed ."My sister is so dumb, she likes all
those guys" she laughed. Leila was shocked and was about to laugh. She grabbed a
date, and wondered about how they grew. "hey you have blond hair" Miras younger
friend said to her. Leila quickly fixed her scarf. "I like it, I wish I looked
like you" she said. Leila felt weird, she couldn’t take a compliment whether it
depended on her life. "Have you guys heard of Supandi jokes??" she asked them.
"what’s that?" the little girls asked. " NOooo " Mira screamed in torture. "She
just laughs and never says the joke. it takes forever" Mira laughed. Leila
laughed and resisted Mira trying to cover her mouth. She kept laughing, and Mira
looked at her nodding. "ok Leila go ahead TRY!" Mira said. Leila realized that
she meant and still laughed. Mira laughed then. "This is Leila , HAHAHHAHAHHA"
Mira mimicked her laughing. All the little kids laughed. "Your nice, no one
old really hangs out with us, they’re always act as though they have other stuff to
do!, my sisters friends are like, "Shut up leave me alone" , one of the girls
Maha laughed. "yeah , you’re nice" they agreed. "thanks" Leila said with a goofy
smile.Leila looked up to see what the girls her age were doing. They weren’t
looking at her anymore. It was at the men. She looked closer not thinking how
obvious she was. There she realized that their lovey-dovey eyes were all glued
on Hamza.
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The women’s natural fun began of chatting. Mariam was sitting down with one aunty
amongst other aunties, and were talking about Leila. "Its amazing how fine she
is, after being separated by her mother," Sana Aunty began. they both glanced
over at her being bombarded with little kids. "Is that Maha? What is she doing"
Her mom Sana aunty asked to herself while seeing her put something on her head.
She shook her head and went back talking to Mariam. "Allah must have given you
a lot of swaab for this, it is very good of you to do that" Sana Aunty replied.
"Its good that she’s here, she can keep my kids company" Mariam joked around.
Sana looked and smirked, "how bout hamza? you wouldn’t want her keeping him
company" she teased around. Mariam was confused and acted like she did not
understand. She thought for a while. "Well Mariam you have thought about that,
sticking a beautiful girl like her with him?" The women said acting as though it
was obvious. Mariam was silent and worrying. "Nooo that won’t happen he’s only 14
and she’s 12!, there too young to be thinking about that" She exclaimed. "look my
daughter is 13 and she try’s to be all pretty and all, I tell her to stop but she
wont." She said. She then looked away while Mariam thought to herself. "I don’t
know why Leila is hanging with my youngest daughter, Zhukrah!, Zhukrah, come
here." She called her eldest daughter. She came up to her mom and then looked at
Hamzas mother, Mariam. "Asalaamulaikum Aunty, how are you?” she said
sweetly. Mariam smiled and greeted her back."Zhukrah I want you to talk to that
girl, Leila ..."she said as if it should have been done before. "Mama, she
whined in a whisper. "She’s all alone, Maha is annoying her, go talk to her" Sana
aunty told her. Zhukrah went back and asked Leila to join their circle. Leila
looked at her and felt she had to.
-----------------------------------------------
"What’s wrong with those girls??"asked Hamza noticing some girls on the other
side looking at him. he picked a date to eat. "Umm maybe they like you" Abu Bakr
said silently. Hamza was shocked, “what , why???" he asked . Abu Bakr looked at
him. “Look I’m not that kind of guy to explain to you why girls like you” laughed
Abu Bakr waving his hands in resist. "Shhhhhh... gosh why don’t you yell it out"
Hamza said in precaution. "Are they nuts don’t they know that’s wrong??" Hamza
innocently asked confused. Abu Bakr shrugged his shoulders, and went back to
eating his piece of goat. "Man I’m not into girls, I like soccer" he said with his
hands on his head shaking it, trying to concentrate on only soccer in horror.
Abu Bakr then looked at him and discovered a nut--it was lying on a plate.
"Kareem, KAreeem" he yelled out to his brother. His brother was playing
tag with the rest of the younger boys. His brother past him, and Hamza grabbed
his running feet and Kareem tripped and fell. Hamza laughed as Kareem got up and
wanted to punch him, "why did you do that?" he said almost crying. "Whereas my
ball?" Hamza asked. "I don't know!" Kareem said mad. "You used it last time" Hamza
said. Kareem stood with his hands on his hips. "NO I didn’t, mammy!!" Kareem
yelled out. "Kareem don’t bother mother about this, just forget it" he said mad.
Kareem then went off and joined the tag fun. There a bunch of little girls and
boys were fighting about how girls weren’t going to play.
Leila looked around at the little kids, they seemed that they were
having more fun. "Anyone praying?" she asked everyone. Some smiled and said they
couldn’t, which made Leila think they never were taught. Others said they would
pray later. Leila got up and walked to the side where some others were praying.
She didn’t want to go too far. She did wudhu in the sand and she fixed her scarf .
After her namaz, she prayed hard for the reuniting of her and her mom , a better
future, and end. She thanked for everything that was occurring now. she got
up and couldn’t wait to get back to having a chance to play tag. she saw an old
lady getting ready to pray and told her salaam. The old lady looked at her as
she fixed her scarf. "You’re a good girl" the old lady smiled as she went ahead
and prayed. Leila was begginig to like all these compliments, and went off.
Leila went out and bumped into Mira running from her playmates. She paused a little to save Leila from her destined boredom from the girls that Leila was with. "Leila come on! " she said as she pulled to join in . She was still allowed to be a kid. Her childhood, like many others, was postponed. She began to run fast and speedily cornering any obstacles very sharply. She had a sweet laugh that night and it felt great. “Hey , the spy is playing with the little kids" Abu Bakr said to Hamza. Hamza looked up. "Haha, looks like she’s having loads of fun" he looked at all the kids in amazement. He kept following her with his eyes. "You know, I would play too," Hamza said for a moment. That second 12 guys looked at each other, smiled, got up and began running around. They were playing half tag, half wrestling with each other. They all had hearty laughs and didn’t know if anyone would care ."Hamza!" Mariam called continuously until Hamza heard her. He ran to her breathlessly. The aunties all snickered to themselves. "Have you prayed Hamza?" she asked concerned trying to look at his condition. "And why are you beating up your friends?” she asked in addition. "Oh, i'm not really hurting them, unless they are THAT weak" he laughed. She then waited for him to answer the other question. "I'm going " he said about his prayers. He started walking and a bunch of other kids passed him making him taste the sand.
That night the night turned over and everyone began going home with their empty bowls with their full stomachs. There were even leftovers. The lasts of people just stayed their talking, and wishing no one left under the blue and red lights of the night and fire. Leila walked to Mariam as they were heading to their cave shelter. She heard the steps grow heavier of this family due to their tiredness. She yawned. "You know, I don’t get it, we had such little food, but there were leftovers? did people feel obligated to leave some food?" Leila asked curious. Mariam was too sleepy and murmured answers. Leila felt awkward and looked down acting like she didn’t ask a question. "Actually you can say a Surah that keeps everyone full on little food". Leila looked up to see Salman talk. He was content with the nights feast. It was weird for Leila, for she has hardly spoken to him because she thought he was always angry. "Wow" she breathed in fascination to herself.
Months went by, and they were closer to Iran. They rerouted their travels to get
to Iran, because it would be too hard to go through winter in the mountains. "Hey, where did you go" Mariam asked Leila after not seeing her for a while. "I went to it" she said casually. 'It' meant bathroom. One of the hardest things for women to do was to use the bathroom. They had no place to go in private, or a good place to clean themselves. Mariam laughed a little and whispered something to Leila while unconsciously kicking some snow. Hamza was in the back. "Yeah so where were you?" he asked giving Mira a piggy back ride. Leila turned around. " No where Hamza" she said. She really didn’t like him, she always thought he was jerk. "Her name is not Hamza, its Sheena" Mira said. Mira always asked Hamza if he could be her sister once and a while, and he would have to agree. “Yup, I’m a GIrlll, I can act as prissy as I want, haha” Hamza laughed with Mira as she played with his short hair. "It fits you" Leila laughed shortly looking ahead with an attititude. "What’s that Leila ?" Hamza spoke arrogantly with his hand cupping his
ear. "You wanna take this out ? because i’m ready lets go" he said seriously in a kidding way. Leila rolled her eyes while Hamza really thought it was a joke. She rubbed his nose that the cold nipped. It was as unbearable as the intense rays of the sun , slowly roasting their bodies to sickness. The breeze was like solid ice arrows. It stung everyone’s soul each step of the journey. A crisp sound could be head as Salman walked on the frozen blades of half dead grass. The feel of the cold could not be prevented for all they ever wore was linen or cotton, the puniest cloth which was supposed to help them for summer. Most did manage to get jackets that were distributed to the refugees at certain times. A strong wind crashed into Mariam . "Laisha" Mariam said quietly to Salman. "we must pray for her" a moment of fright shuddered against her spine. "She is
having a baby any time soon, and with this cold , it may be hard". An awkward moment passed. Salman tightened his fathers’ coat to himself . "Pray for her huh?" Salman rhetorically asked. "maybe she should have thought about these conditions before planning on this" Salman argued. Salman paused and coughed. "I’m sorry, I will pray" He said instead. Salman coughed some more . Leila looked up about ten feet behind. She heard the coughs and felt it was contagious. Her shoulder was stiff. It did not heal well but it passed. Mira got off Hamzas back and she walked next to Leila. She held onto a scruffy bear made from merinos’ wool. The brown color was exquisite, reflecting the way the family lived, for it was fairly white at first. It would have two bead eyes, but one got caught pulled off by an angry Kareem.. It had a little pillbox hat on. Love wore into it , for it was her only toy she carried. His name was Akber. Mira held it against her
cheek and face, trying to use it to keep her buddy warm while it also blocked the
winds from brushing her weary little body.
----------------------------------------------
Hamza was walking with Kareem, bold and manly. He was taller than other the
other 14 year olds. He looked older and reached his maximum height while
Kareem reached his hips. Kareem looked up to his brother a lot and felt he was
awesome. Leila looked back and saw Hamza in wonder. Even though he was a jerk
to her, he was one of the funniest people ever, and she couldn’t ignore it. He
looked at her in suspicion, adding to his theory. Even though it was almost a
year since he knew her, he still was caught in the net of his first impression
, and never made an effort to really talk to her. He put his hands into his beige courdery jacket and turned away. A few seconds later her grabbed Kareem and turned him upside down. IT was a ridiculous thing that made Kareem happy, and Hamza laugh. Leila looked around at the people . It was this neverending pattern of walking and looking down. She saw a pregnant woman. Leila wondered lightly how she could bear it. Suddenly a scream tore the world in half. Some had ears adjusted to it, but many went to see the origin of the scream. IT was the old lady she met earlier when she prayed that day in the feast. The old woman’s hands were shaking ,and sniffing ,kneeling to her husband
that freshly collapsed. Emotions concentrated in the air. No body comforted the
women. No body. Mariam ran towards the fallen man and after a while declared
there was nothing to be done to the circle of people around. People shook their head in despair, and Leila looked around hard, and shocked at the peoples reactions. She couldn’t stand it so she walked directly to the lady, but then felt awkward. What now? She went
to the lady and put her hand on her shoulder and kneeled down. The old women
babbled on her husbands’ body crying for comfort. Leila looked at her, and a
strong arm grabbed hers in sadness. It looked like a thank you.
The night was young and a couple of women went to the old ladies cave
shelter to comfort her, and recite Quran. Some women felt obligated. It sickened Leila, not only people’s reactions, but the sight of a dead body. She sat in the corner of her tent alone. Hamza was outside the tent cooking some rice on a fire. She rested her head on her knees and put her arms around it looking to the side. She stared into a fantasized world with her piecing worried eyes. Salman walked into the tent and casually went up to her ,but to Leila’s surprise. He took a hard breath. "Never again go like that!" Salman told her. "Her husband just died?" she responded confused. Salman walked around in circles. "It doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t surround yourself with that kind of life.” He yelled back "I see it all the time!!" she said back frustrated. Salman looked at her straight in the eyes. "Don’t ever do that ever" he said and walked out the tent in frustration. Hamza came in as Salman left. He looked at his father, and then at Leila. Leila was tearing and mad. He walked in more and took a deep breath. "I don’t understand your father, why does he hate helping people?" she asked frustrated. She grabbed her knees and sunk in her head . Hamza thought for a moment. "Baba doesn’t mean to be like that, he’s a complicated person" He pointed out. Hamza walked around trying to find a spot to sit without the awkwardness, and then chose to sit in front of her. "He’s a good person inside you know, he just has hard times conveying it." He calmly said while playing with a thread. Leila looked up and listened. Hamza looked at her and gulped. "When he was young " Hamza began a little reluctant.” his father helped every body. Well not only helped, but trusted everyone. I mean that great and all, but you still need to be precautious. He was so nice, he even help take care of sheep’s and goats at this local farm he used to grow up next to , ha-ha." Hamza began to change his tone to bittersweet ness. "When he got married, he was in the army and he made this – this friend. I mean a friend Leila, a good, good friend. And then his friend poisoned him with lassi at one feast. He died the next morning when my father was only 8. He’s kinda scarred that way Leila." Leila stared at the floor in shock, and Hamza just then realized why he has been so suspicious of Leila. Leila realized this discovered story as an understanding. A better understanding to Salman.
----------------------------------------------
Nights became colder and colder by time. The cold persuaded the fire to join its ambition.
Leila was in the tent, and wondered why they couldn’t find a cave. She was placed
in the worst part of the tent. Well actually she wasn’t the only one. Hamza was
too. Both were at each ends of the tent. It was the worst place to be because
the ice would seep at the ends, and not to mention the big openings. The parents
were at the center, hogging most of the blanket while the ones at the ends got
less than half of it. Leila could hear everyone’s discomfort, and an anonymous
'oh my god' snapped from someone. the parents were snug, Mira and Kareem were comfortable. Even with the stacks of the thin cloth , it didn’t suffice. "Argh I cant stand this" Hamza finally busted out. He pushed the thin blankets that covered him partly and walked out. His feet were bare while a fierce wind blew under his shalwar. It was nothing to compare, inside the tent
was better. The amount of time it took for the transition of his actions didn’t
allow his parents to react. "You okay Hamza?" Salman asked as if he knew he
would come back, still lying down with his eyes closed. "yeah I’m okay" he lied
surrendering to what he had. He got back under the covers. Leila was half up and
smiled about to laugh. Hamza looked at everyone and accidentally caught her eye.
He smiled mockingly for a couple of seconds and laid down looking above.
-------------------------------------------
Leila felt so cold while she lay on the ground. She slept next to mira and mira
wasnt making it any easier. She would pretty much kick and toss herself on top
of Leila. Leila would have to push her off and tried moving away from her, but
she would end up being in the snow. the wet snow touched her hand, and she
opened the flap of the tent. A thin wind entered the tent as she looked outside.
IT was a lonely night, with ice blanketing the land. She sat herself up and
stared at nothing. SHe thought of just sleeping at the feet of everyone,
becoming perpendicular to them. It was such a good idea, but she didn have the
nerve of doing it. Soon she saw mira taking up her space. She looked at everyone
and saw everyone asleep. She sat there and heard the snow began to land on the
tent. She laid back down and touched the surface of the tent. It was silky in a
way, and like to play with it. She felt drowsy, and intoxicated by the warmer
air surrounding her. She closed her eyes slowly and fell asleep.
HAmza woke up earlier than the rest. He found out he couldnt take it any
more sleeping at the end. He went outside, and looked at the salmon colored
sky. It seemed nice because he didnt wait too long for everyone to wake up and
join him. He walked around to see if anyone was around. He walked around and saw
a guy he knew. He talked to him for a while, and then he asked him to use his
fire because he was too smart to waste time to make another one. The family
needed clean water to wash up with, and there were not very many lakes near by.
He took a bunch of snow and put it in a pot. he needed a bunch of snow to get
the a good amount of warm water. There he washed up , and boiled some more
water. He saw the way is steamed and thought it might humidify the tent. He
carried his pot, and felt the warm temperature burning his fingers. As he walked
all the way to his tent, he couldnt be more scared to see Leila half outside
laying in the ground. he looked at her in horror and put his steaming pot down.
He annalyzed her for a while and didnt know if he should push her in. He knelt
and first tried to cover her with the tent flap. After it didnt work he began
pushing her inside the tent. she began tossing and he carefully backed off. He
tried again. "What are you doing" said a boy behind. hamza jumped mentally and
looked behind and relaxed.It was abu BAkr."Man look at her, shes going to get
sick if she stays out liek this." Hamza said hopind abu BAkr had some ideas.
Aby bakr looked at her comming out. "Man shes worse than my sister when it comes
to moving when you sleep, i can see it now, she jsut need to sleep long enough
to get to Iran- No walking required" joked hamza. "Why dont you just wake her
up?" Abu BAkr asked. "because, i would kill someone if they woke me up, gosh its
so hard to sleep in the first place." Hamza said getting closer to try something
new. "Man im going to run if she wakes up" he said looking at her. He shoved her
in easily and was shocked. "well thats easy, lets look for other kids who need
shoving huh?" Abu Bakr joked. Hamza chuckled, "yeah, lets do that." he
sarcastically said.

------------------------------

When everyone woke up, they saw the snow all around. While it was supposed to be

some sort of cold wet treasure, it was this glaring enemy of theirs. Most tents

had their own fires to keep them warm while others shared. Smoke rose above,

contrasting the snow below it. It smelled like summer to Leila, for it was

always burning at that time. Some kids were getting into the snow a little bit

too much, and the families began pulling them out for they didn’t have the right

tools. These tools weren’t the shovels or the buckets, but the mere simplicity

of proper clothing. So instead Kareem and Mira walked near Leila. She was telling them some nasruddin jokes. They were the best things of her life. When she was young her mother always told her these stories before sleeping, while giving her an arm massage. The giggles made her almost not think of the burning cold. And vice versa for the children. To Leila’s surprise Kareem and Mira called their friends to listen to the stories, because this time she would tell the stories without laughing all the time. As all the kids were walking trying to hog Leila , she began another story. "There was once a man who wanted to lift up his sack at a market, and a stranger asked him if he needed any help. The man said no, and the stranger still insisted he should help, and he asked what the man would give if he did help. The man said nothing, and then the stranger helped him, and asked for his 'nothing'. The man was confused, ha-ha, u know, so he got in a big fight with the stranger, Nasruddin a wise man came and told the stranger to lift a corner of a rug. So the stranger did. Nasruddin asked what he saw, and the stranger said nothing. Well then ha-ha, Nasruddin told the stranger to take that 'nothing' and leave, HAHAHAhh" Leila laughed. She seemed to be the only one doing so at that point, all the kids looked at her confused. "I wanna go play!" a boy shot out while all the kids ran off. Just then a chuckle came from behind. Leila turned to see. IT was Hamza. "That was kinda funny" he admitted as he walked next to her. "Not your story, but how they totally blew you off". He said kidding around. He looked at her grinning. "No I - it was a funny story, you know no one can tell that story as well as you" he said honestly. Leila looked at him in happiness and wanted to tell more jokes and stories. once he stayed there he wasn’t prepared for her to tell more stories. "I have more, its realllllyy funny ha-ha" she giggled. " Hamzas hands were in his pocket and felt awkward, and shrugged his shoulders, he never really talked to girls. "Well" Leila began as she started laughing "hahahhhah" she giggled. "Well NAsruddin .hahahahhahaahaha." she began laughing harder than ever and grabbed her stomach and let out a great belly laugh. "this is my favorite hahah" Hamza stood there smiling but scared not knowing what to do, but also began to laugh at her craziness. "His donkey .. hahahahhah..." Leila laugh was sweet and hamza began to adore it. "And that’s it ha-ha" Leila ended it with a big smile, and hamza looked at her crazily with an even bigger smile. "So you know any ?"Leila asked trying to recover from the humor. " I have an incident that happened
to me.." Hamza began.Hamza was about to begin when suddenly a bomb dropped down.

-------------------------------------



It was like watching your life drop. Like everyone’s soul packed into one object ready to unmercifully stare down the emotional eyes of the hopefuls for life. IT cannot be described in words, but with the experience and emotions
staining in their faces. The bomb was coming slow and the stages of death were taking place even before death took place. Thorns of smoke shot from the ground and roses of debris began running at the people. People tried to run away
form it, and some just sat and covered their loved ones trying to survive. The smoke clouds chased the people and caught up most of them. At one instant a surround of white , only white loud noises covered Leila’s senses, and she felt
as though she was being carried off but wasn’t sure. She screamed and cried. Hamza stirred his eyes. His mouth tasted like metal and sand. The first thing he did was spit, and it went on him. He felt the aches and pains all over. He looked below hoping he wasn’t severely hurt and saw a harsh scratch with blood covered it. He looked up and limped around. All he saw were bodies on the ground. He felt like his heart exploded as he didn’t want to face the truth. he limped to look at the ones that were up , hoping it would be his family. he walked around and saw a body with obvious declarations of death on him. He was
puked as he cried. he couldn’t look down unless he knew for sure it was his family. He didn’t look down, for about 20 min but just limped around. He felt so lonely and wished his family was there with him. He limped around and saw his
mom and ran limping like crazy to his mother who was from his site a feet high. His mom had Kareem next to him. he Ran to his mother sobbing like a child and apologized for everything he had done, and hugged her. She looked at his leg and cried. She asked him if he saw the other three. "I was next to Leila , but mom,all I heard was screams mom, screamsss" he started crying. Leila then came from behind and had Mira next to her. Mira went straight to her mother crying insanely. "Salman" she cried to herself. After about 30 dreadful minutes, Salman came and found his family. IT was a moment where everyone stood in relief but entered new problems.
------------------------------------------

Life wasn’t the same after that. They all prayed for forgiveness of everything
before it was too late. They were usually quiet after that, and Mariam was
serving more people than she ever imagined. Her son was the most hurt of the
family. Hamza got an infection and yellow pus began making him sick. He had a fever,
and little beads of sweat covered his whole body draining off. He breathed
impatiently when he was sleeping and he tossed and turned. He had an intense fever
that suffocated him with sickness. He threw up many times and he had to wear
the thinnest clothing ever, or just pant. He was flush and sweaty and was obviously having nightmares. Mariam left him in the tent with her husband while she went off to help
the others. Salman kept wiping the sweat away, and prayed for his child. Leila
stayed outside worried. She cried because all she ever heard was
that everyone was getting sick, and was getting worse, especially Hamza.
Too many people were crying over the loss of their families. Fourteen people died that morning and
they were all going to be buried later at night. Leila’s head was in between her knees low. She
sulked that afternoon as she was beginning to get a soar throat. She started
spitting instead of swallowing because she felt whatever was going to grow in her
throat, would go away. She then heard Hamza mumbling things while he tossed and
turned. Leila looked down at the snow and found interest. She tried to look at
the crystals and how it disappeared to her touch. It would become little drops
of water. She heard a scream. Leila looked up immediately and her heart rocked
her body in fright. A surge of heat ran through her back, and she waited for
silence. There was none as a woman found her kid dying after drinking some
water.
"The water must have taken some elements of the bomb" said one man. A couple of
first aid workers began flying in and was trying to help out. They gave all the
doctors supplies and medication. Leila saw all the people surrounding them
begging for anyone to help their family members. Leila didn’t see Mariam as she
looked around, and saw people running into each other making commotion as they
tried to win one of the workers to help them first. Mariam went up and asked if
they had a specific medication, and they did. Leila went ahead and followed
Mariam. She went inside the tent, and Leila looked at Hamza from outside. He
looked horrible. He was sweaty and pale, and around his eyes was red. His lips
were dry, and he lost a lot of weight. Mariam cried as she had to put the medicine
in her sons mouth and almost had to control him swallowing it. She spoke to him
with caring words, but it was out of fright. Salman came in with dry
clothing. He wiped his sons hair that was full of sweat . "They say we shouldn’t touch the
water" Salman said. "What about the snow, I mean could it absorb whatever it
is?" she asked . Leila then realized she was sitting on the snow for a while, and
cursed the dreaded snow. She sat on a cold log and looked around. She knew Mira
and Kareem were at a tent with a bunch of kids taken care by a woman. She didn’t
want to walk though the snow, but she knew her shoes were,hopefully ,not going to
let her down . So she stepped on as many non-snow materials, and when she was
forced to, she walked on the snow to the tent. She walked in the tent, and it
was quiet. Some kids sleeping, and some kids crying. The woman couldn’t let anyone
leave. She looked faint and weak. She saw Mira and Kareem together, and then
went to them to ask if they were okay. They nodded silently. She then saw Maha.
She was sitting confused. "Hi Maha" Leila weakly greeted. Maha looked
vulnerable. “Hi" she tried to voice out. She was worried to death about her
sister who was sick. "Have you seen my sister?" Maha asked sad looking at the
floor. “No why?" Leila said in horror, remembering the girl who gave her bad
looks. "She’s not good" Maha said about her condition. Leila stood there upset.
She thought since happiness usually partnered up with kids, there would not be
a let down on her feeling better if she came to meet them.

---------------------
Days past by and Hamza was getting better. He was responding a little to
whatever his parents said. Leila felt helpless as she asked to do whatever to makeanyone feel better. Since the snow renewed it self, it was safer to be around it
.But this didnt build any trust with it. . She would have to carry firewood, or make it.
She tried to help watching the kids, and once tried to help an family by being a messenger between mariam and them. They all thanked her but she felt empty inside. She kept passing Mahas families
tent, and worried about khusra. She hoped her bad thoughts of her didn’t cause
his misfortune. she couldn’t help but feel she did. A little leaf fell on her and she jumped.
She tasted her mouth and it was dry and dher saliva was thick. She didn’t drink too much water lately. She looked back at her tent and to her surprise saw Hamza coming out.
He came out with a strong limp and brave grin. He grabbed his stomach in complete discomfort, and was covered with extensive blankets and shawls. He glowed out this lankiness, and Leila was more than proud of him. He wanted to walk alone, to get away from his sick bed. He walked around and wanted it to be summer for he hated the winter so much. Leila stood there afar and went up to him with a curious gut. "hey hamza." she greeted him anxiously. He looked at her, carefully turning his head. "hey Leila, how are you doing?" he asked slowely trying to smile. His face showed a powerful sickness. Leila looked away. "Im doing fine" she said walking next to him feeling sad. She couldn’t ask him how he was doing. Hamza gulped lightly in pain, and felt dizzy. The kept walking side by side. “Good, good" He said carefully swallowing his spit. Hamza looked generously at leila. She was looking down with so much sadness, in so much pain and sorrow. She too was trying to be brave just for him. They kept on walking. He went close to her still walking side by side. “you know” he began. “i still need to tell you my story” he said as he tried to smile. Leila couldn’t believe h was talking about the story he was going to tell her right before the bombing. Leila listened. "I used to think my friends name ghani jazaly, was an adverb-because of the -ly". he laughed a little. Leila snickered herself. She kept on walking with him and she was amazed by Hamzas kindness, It felt very good since a long time.
"Thanks hamza" she honestly said admiring Hamza. Hamza looked down and had his
first genine smile . He thought he should say something but he let silence tell
all.
---------------------------------------------
The Ice was beginning to go away, and so was the sickness. HAmza was
healthy again, but still very skinny. All the men got together to pray namaz
together and after that talk about the prophets. They all sat down and listening
to Salman tell a story about a Prophet. Salman was proud of all the men he saw.
All survived so wonderfully the last couple of months. He felt the pr spring day
add to their pleasure. The day was slowly turning a light violet sky and Salman
began.Salman began talking, and he told of a Hadith. he began explaining about the
nights journey to heaven which Prophet Muhammad (saw) went on. He met Adam(s)
and then saw something. "I(the prophet s.a.w) said: 'O Gabriel! What is the

matter?' He replied: 'He is Adam, and they are the souls of his children. When
he looked on his right, who were the people of Paradise , he smiled; but when he
looked on his left, who were the people of Hell, he cried'.".

This made Hamza think. Think hard. HE felt so bad, that he cried. IT was such
sad concept for something like that to happen. HE question exactly how good he
was, and if others around him was also. He felt guilty for doing all what he was
doing and letting Shaitan win. He wanted to ask for forgiveness, but he didn’t
know if he would still continue it. He sat there thinking really hard on how to
change himself.

He was sitting in his tent wondering about what he heard. HE wanted to become a
better Muslim. He decided to take every test he comes across and pick the best
answer possible. He prayed ISha that night and sat there. He wanted to talk to
Allah. He sat there and decided to converse with Allah. HE asked Him forgiveness
for everything he did wrong. He told Allah how bad he felt when the bombings
happened, and he asked to spare any pain from the others. He asked sat there,
and then realized something that made him excited. He could always tell Allah
about what he thought of people, good or bad. That way he wouldn’t have to
backbite. He then smiled real happy, and then asked Allah to solve his
problems. He then went ahead and prayed Witr. When he did, he lost some
concentration, and when he was done, he asked forgiveness again. He said he
didnt know why he kept losing concentration, and an answer popped up. it was
because he didnt know what it meant. At that point Hamza was going to turn over,
but he had a feeling that Allah wouldn’t let him stop thinking about it. The
question of when HAmza was going to finally know was asked in HAmzas mind.
Shaitans excuses came up, and HAmza felt the best thing to do was to ask that
day. But he couldn’t right? I mean its too late, he can do it tomorrow. HAmza
then thought for a moment, but realized he couldn’t feel right if he didnt try.
HE went ahead and looked at the Quran. HE tried to see if he could find it, but
he couldn’t. Instead he found the Hadith book. Hamza looked for it and promise he
would ask someone tomorrow. HE felt bad. But then he looked at the HAdith and
smiled. He read one HAdith that said that when one man is sick then his sins are
forgiven in the hereafter. He was happy.

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That night Hamza began reading the translation of the Quran. As he read it he
couldn’t, but feel how powerful it was. How direct everything was. All his life
he had always been told what the Quran said, but now, this was the exact word
of God. He treated it with respect and truthfully felt worried. He decided to
give it a break, and went asleep.
The next day they all began to walk again. A man then came storming to
Salman. "Salman!" he called. Salman turned around to see a man gasp for air.
"what is it" He asked worried. The man paused a little before getting some more
air."Ali! everyone who followed him, they were all killed!” Salman sunk in the
news slowly. His heart broke in half from shock. Zaki, Alis son, heard it when he too gathered around the commotion. His eyes were stapled in the air. He then
choked on his own shock, began gagging, and fell down crying.
"IT must be a rumor mother," Hamza tried to calm his mothers nerves with
his kind voice. He carried Mira on his shoulder as he patted her to sleep. His
mother was down. "i cant believe it though" She said. Leila then came in and sat
down. "Leila did you know anyone ?" She asked. "No" leila said as if she was
used to it. MAriam sulked more and put her head on her hand. Kareem tried to
sleep on his mothers lap. She stroked his hair gently. Leila kept looking at her
hands trying to see her veins. She kept closing and opening her fist until it got tired. "You know" Mariam babbled. “The worst part was, after the bombing, i
actually wished so much that we would have gone with them, now- Now I cant
believe i even thought that" she said losing her voice to her tears. Leila
squeezed her fist on her mouth. HAzma felt another thing to be thankful for. "BE
thankful!! BE thankful we didn’t go with them!” she struck out. "And pray!" she
finalized. Hamza listened to what he already knew. In the corner Leila looked
at her and looked away. She got up suddenly out of an urge and threw up.

Leila saw this entire problem as a realization of what may be a reality of her
mother. Her heart ached so much. She had no home for her mother was not with
her. She became mad at the world, and couldn’t stand life. She gave her future
life an attitude, believing once she gets hit, and recovers, no matter what she
will be hit again, so its best to stay down. She wanted to be alone without
anyone talking to her. this went on for weeks. The family noticed it but felt
she was acting like this because she really did know someone from the massacre
that happened earlier.
"leila can you play with me?" Mira asked one day with Kareem by her
side. Leila looked above annoyed. "play what?" she asked as if she cared. The kids looked happy, "Umm that stick game??!" Mira responded excited. Leila tried to be nice. "Fine bring it" she said monotonously not looking at them. Mira looked in discomfort. "I don’t want too” She whined. "then too bad" she snapped. "Don’t scream at her like that" defended Hamza who was nearby. Leila looked at him in annoyance. “Was I screaming?" She asked immaturely. "Mind your own business!" she advised rudely. "She is my business" he said he argued back. "You can act a little nicer you know" he grouched. Leila couldn’t stand his preaching lately. "Oh yea?" she threatened. "What are you going to do about it huh?" knowing he wouldn’t do anything. She analyzed his confused eyes. Hamza stood there and stared at her in annoyance. "yeah what are you going to do huh??WHat Hamza, are you going to take away my stuff? too late, are you going to tell my parents? ,” she paused, “there isn’t any!" she chocked suddenly out of apprehensiveness. "Are you going to?hurt me?" she cried. “Well im already hurt" she tried to suck it up. She feared a little. HAmza looked at her in somewhat of no mercy. “We all have problems!" he reminded her. She then gave up.

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more to come.