I Remember

This piece is really special to me, it's about a friendship that really meant a lot to me and still does. It is a part of my soul.


I REMEMBER

I never knew what happened to you. They told me you received a phone call and just left. I was here, you were there. We were far apart yet not so far.
I remember before that - many things, many days.
I remember first seeing you: you looked innocent and lost in our strange school, being the only white boy among pupils who were either Chinese, African or half white/coloured. Somehow, someway, we were drawn towards each other to create our own world apart from the others that drifted.
Many fellow classmates were sceptical towards our relationship, not only because of our colour differences but also because you were two years younger. They thought that I should be with someone my own age and that you should have gone for the other girl. But they didn’t know us. They didn’t know how deep and close our relationship was. We both sensed that it wasn’t purely platonic but we never took the second step towards that stage.

I remember you opened your heart to me, and I gave you mine. We were inseparable. I remember speaking for hours in private corners or in the centre of the clay courts, much to the curiosity of everyone else. You tried to teach me how to play tennis, without luck. We played basketball, which I often won, not only because I was slightly taller than you but also because I was on the team, but you still tackled me for the ball. I remember playing hockey and leaving you with a bruise on your shin.

I remember a couple of months later when rumours about us being an item went around. We were interrogated on all sides, together and alone. We didn’t give anyone the satisfaction of a straight answer; we said neither yes nor no, we simply smiled whenever they asked. I was threatened by the other girl because she was jealous of our relationship and wanted you for herself. She even went as far as to tell each of us fibs about the other in order to cause us to get angry at each other and break up our friendship. She didn’t succeed. We always went to each other to update on events and discuss problems. She also tried to intimidate me by saying that she would beat me up but you said that I could probably knock her out (kick her ass if I remember correctly!), how we laughed about it!

You did ask me out once, but I refused because I wanted to preserve our important friendship. I regretted saying no to you because I did like you a lot but I thought it was for the best and I realize that it was. We grew even closer after that. I remember the way you looked: the short, soft blonde hair, the soft, gentle hands, the smile and especially your iridescent blue eyes.

I transferred and then you were gone as well. No contact whatsoever, I was heartbroken at the loss of a special friend, but I slowly healed a little.
Then just last week I was ecstatic to hear from a friend that you had visited the old school. She happily gave me your number since she knew how much I missed you and worried about you. I called and was surprised to hear how different you sounded and the many things that changed, but I could still sense bits of the person I knew before. We caught up on three lost years and I realized that you are still the same person I knew.

Now I stand before you a week later, it’s my turn to look up at you; you’ve grown a head taller than I. I remember the blue eyes. The blue eyes that are now looking into my brown ones. They used to be so happy but now seem sad. I hold your wrist lightly, not wanting to say goodbye. You hug me and walk towards your boarding entrance. You turn around and smile, your blue eyes reassuring.
I realize that you are still you. I realize that I never lost you and never will.
We never said goodbye because we don’t need to. I realize what you had already known: we will always be together.