Lament of the Sleepless

Lament of the Sleepless

Another restless night-
The house is peaceful,
but I am not.

Turn to the left.
Light assaults my eyes.
A streetlamp glows through closed curtains.

Flop to the right.
Harsh red numbers attack me from this side.
2:17 a.m.
Damn you cruel, unfeeling clock;
I should be sleeping.

Blink once, slowly.
Another blink, slower still.
Eyes fully closed.
Now I am waiting;
waiting for sleep to come.

But sleep is denied me.
Thoughts fill my mind instead:
depressing thoughts,
self-degrading thoughts.

Stop.

Think of something else.

Stop.

Go to sleep.

But I can’t sleep;
check the clock instead.
3:48 a.m.
Hours yet ‘til daylight.

There can be no escape for me,
no respite.
I am tired,
so tired of fighting off these thoughts.
Too tired to resist them anymore,
so I surrender.

I let the thoughts come,
and the thoughts consume me.