These are e-mails from Maryann and Narnia3 about the collaborative story. |
I don't have all of the e-mails, especially those outside of Stories, but this should be enough to give you a good idea of how it went. We had a wonderful time doing this story together. ***** Date: 09:18:32 09/17/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: narnia3 Size: 2.32 kb Show headers | View message source On 09/17/2002 at 04:51:51, wrote: Hi there, It's good to hear from you. I'm glad that everything is going OK with you. It's strange to see you with a gray case, but I guess that will change quickly! Of course I would want to be your partner in Weird's contest! I think that would be fun! You even have a brainstorm idea ready! It sounds wonderful! Keep in touch, Maryann > Hey Maryann, > > Umm, I was just wandering... umm, if you would be my partner in weird's > competition about teaming up for writing a story together? > > I really like your style...heheheh! Seriously, I really like your writing > style > and I'd be honoured to work on a piece with you. > > A futuristic piece maybe? About third world war and the hope of survival > and > peace. ***** Date: 05:14:26 09/18/2002 From: narnia3 To: Maryann (2) Size: 2.21 kb Show headers | View message source hey, > It's strange to see you with a gray case, but I guess that will change > quickly! yeah, what does the grey case mean? > Of course I would want to be your partner in Weird's contest! I think that > would be fun! You even have a brainstorm idea ready! It sounds wonderful! yes!! thank you! there was a piece, a little bit star-trekkie, of what life would be like after world war 3 - maybe just after first contact. people realise that differences in culture can be a good thing. i get bored at work very easily (just don't let THEM know that) i work in a call centre where i sometimes have 10 minutes of nothing to do between calls. so email me at work and we can swop ideas and drafts. trust me, you would be doing my brain a favour. ksmith@davidjones.com.au i've kind of thought of an idea for the title... "the adventures of the deleriously happy but slightly insane". whatcha think? ***** Subject: Story Idea Date: 22:28:08 09/19/2002 From: ksmith@davidjones.com.au <ksmith@davidjones.com.au> To: Maryann (2) Size: 2.65 kb Show headers | View message source Hey Maryann, Umm, I'm really bad for doing this, and it is my worse habbit... but I've had an idea for another story we could write. The third world war thing has been done before... so what if we created a mix of star trek: the next gen & x-files? Such as there's a terraformed planet with a kind of 'small town' atmosphere - you know, 'we look after our own'. so when starfleet comes to check on them and sends the enterprise because they haven't heard from them in a while. It can be a drama/thriller with scary bits here and there. the people shun federation technology and want to live close to nature so anyone using tricorders or replicators are frowned upon. maybe the township could turn into a cult?? Whatcha think? That's the good thing about inventing a planet and people - we can do whatever we like! ***** Subject: Re: Story Idea Date: 00:55:49 09/24/2002 From: ksmith@davidjones.com.au <ksmith@davidjones.com.au> To: Maryann (2) Size: 4.15 kb Show headers | View message source hey, i'm so happy you like the idea. evil amish people hehehehe! what i was thinking was that the planet was terraformed & colonized by humans, starfleet scientists (or ufpa in those days), back in kirks time. it's in federation space but they mysteriously cut off contact and end their federation membership. so they're left alone, at their own request and time goes by until picard's day. bizarre murders take place on earth, like really brutal mutilations, which Tuvok investigates now apart of security at starfleet headquarters since voyager's return, and from DNA traces taken from the victims, from very old records, are found to be reminiscent from the scientists who colonized the planet. the idea is that one of the colonists progeny left the colony, and after murdering a few people, runs back to the colony to hide. Tuvok joins the enterprise ncc1701e for this one mission only and they go to the planet to track the killer down. The landing party consists of Worf (who doesn't hang around DS9 that much now since jadzias death), Picard, Tuvok, Troi & Data. they land in one of the largest towns where the planet's lead council sits to ask permission to investigate. the council, headed by an elected leader openly tells them they are suspicious of outsiders, and denies that it could be one of their people since once a person leaves, the never come back (policy & procedure). outsiders are not allowed in their little community, and they resent the fact that tuvok, worf & data aren't human (troi passes since she's half). maryann, when you suggested the special powers... i have an idea... during tuvok's investigation with data and troi helping him... troi senses people aren't being honest with them and are hiding something... which data finds out from dna scans. some of the original colonists are still alive and still young! they stayed that way from the planet's effects on people... but that wouldn't be enough to make them last... except for eating the affected people. the people have found long life through cannibalism which the homicidal psycho was trying to do on earth - but because the people on earth didn't have the affects it killed him instead.... so what will the enterprise do about this??? what's gonna happen??? a rescue operation incase picard nearly gets eaten??? ***** Date: 22:48:01 09/24/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: ksmith@davidjones.com.au <ksmith@davidjones.com.au> Size: 4.31 kb Show headers | View message source On 09/24/2002 at 20:52:38, wrote: Hi there, It all sounds good to me. I will read it over again in the morning because I am really tired now. I think that you should do the first chapter, and I'll follow your lead. You can also make a post to Weird. (unless you don't want to, it doesn't matter to me.) I will read his 'rules' again to see if we are missing anything, and to get a idea of how long this needs to be. by for now, (or is that "live long and prosper"!) Maryann > > hey M, > > Oh I like it It seems to be a great storyline! > > coolage. I wanted to explore a few of the star trek characters with a sort > of dark crime fiction. > > I think that we will have enough there to make this story work, and be > filled > with suspense and even scary parts! > > I can't wait to read your scary bits. I think the best part of this > collaborative exercise is that we can explore each others work. > > How should we do this? Should we begin with a sort of outline of assigned > chapters? Should we just add a chapter as we go along (like a campfire)? > > If you don't mind, I think that's what I was hoping. Maybe we can start > the story with Tuvok investigating a crime scene of the third murder. > Would you like to start? Or would you like me too? > > I forgot to mention to you that I am probably the most easy going person > that > you will ever meet! LOL I will go along with whatever you think is best. > > > > Coolege. Thanks for your support. Please don't be afraid to get dark with > this piece. I've always thought there are still some flowers and roses > attached to some of the goody-goody twoshoes of the enterprise crew. > Remember the ep of Voyager when Tuvok overloaded another telepath with > dark, chaotic images? How it was kind of a surprise for us to see that in > a Vulcan? I'd really like to delve deeper into this to see how Picard > would react to the situations, Crusher would help almost as in forensics > when discovering the people's secrets, how Troi is more than just a pretty > face, and how Worf may react to the discrimination towards him from the > colonists. > > It's been a while since I read the contest heading. (This is a 'fun' > venture > even if it wouldn't have been for a contest!). > Did we need to 'register'? > > I think we need to put a message on the board to let weird know we're > interested. > > How will we 'save' records of 'the making of the chapters' for Weird to > view? > > Does Weird have to view them?? Sorry, I didn't know. We could keep the > emails we send to eachother of the chapters, whatcha think? > > Is there anything else that we might need to consider? > > Umm, how about living long and prospering? > > LOL!! Just kidding... : ) ***** Date: 02:29:42 10/04/2002 From: ksmith@davidjones.com.au <ksmith@davidjones.com.au> To: Maryann (2) Size: 2.42 kb Show headers | View message source hey M, I'm so glad you liked the first chapter! Very relieved actually. After I sent it to you I started wandering how far I can push the boarders between political correctness & preaching. I wandered if I was hitting the religious nut idea over the head.... but when you think about it the idea of long life or living for eternity is tied to one religion or another, and what a person would do for their beliefs. so our characters will eat people as they follow their beliefs. of course they try to hide it from the outside like those pesky starfleet people investigating a couple of murders... ***** Date: 21:10:26 10/04/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: narnia3 Size: 4.25 kb Show headers | View message source On 10/04/2002 at 18:37:03, "narnia3@Writing.Com" wrote: Hi there, I'm glad that you liked it. You had such a terrific idea in mind, and I didn't want to mess it up. I figured that I would start some characters, and more can be added on as needed (as well as more details about the planet). I thought that I would have a small mention about Tuvok and company at the end. Having 7 and Paris over there gives us the option of using them (or not) if needed for a second away team. Don't feel that you need to use that, though. If it's not working, just take it out. We might want to go back and make some changes as we go along anyway. I'm also glad that you have a great sense of humor. I can't resist being a little silly sometimes! Remember, have fun on your long weekend, and don't feel that you have to do this right now. You'll get to it when you get to it. We have plenty of time. I think that I told you that once before and you told me that this IS fun. That's how I feel -- I'm having such a great time working with you! Speak to you soon! Maryann > M, > > This piece had me laughing! I laughed really loud! So much so I woke my > boyfriend up on this saturday morning as I read it! I loved the way you > captured the colonists perfectly. But I REALLY loved the witty one-liners! > > It wouldn’t be long before Starfleet would be knocking > > at Heaven’s door. > > Very clever! > > > “As you all know, Markus is dying. It is my decision that after this > evenings > dinner, Markus will be gone.” > > Cool. He'll be served between the chicken & the fish, shall he? > > > If they still insist on boldly going where no outsiders have gone before, > there > will be no Markus for them to find. > > Another one! Seriously though, these were really well thought out. It's > funny > sarcasm, but it also shows the low reguard the colonists have towards > outside > interference. > > I'm so relieved you've moulded the first of the colonists characters because > I > have to admit, I may capture our fav star trek characters, but the undefined > characters make me nervous sometimes. > > > > Unknowingly to the colonists, Admiral Janeway received a com message from > Admiral Chek. She wasted no time in sending Tuvok on a shuttle to > rendezvous > with the Enterprise-E. On board were Tom Paris and Seven of Nine, who would > be > touring the ‘E’ while the investigation was going on. > > Thanks for this. It's a really good idea you've started by leaving notes > for > each other of how the next chapter might start. By the end of the weekend > I'll > send you Chap. 3 with the opening scene Tuvok on the shuttle with 7 & Paris. > Then I'll have him boarding the Enterprise from one of its shuttlebays with > Picard, Troi, Worf & Crusher there to meet him. ***** Date: 04:52:43 10/09/2002 From: narnia3 To: Maryann (2) Size: 4.43 kb Show headers | View message source Hey M, I figured that I would start some characters, and more > can be added on as needed (as well as more details about the planet). if it's OK, I might let you have creative license over the planet for the moment. I'm a little bit blank... mind you I almost pictured it as 'smallville' with lex luthor (yum!) as the council leader, but i think it needs a real woman's touch with that one ;) > > I thought that I would have a small mention about Tuvok and company at the end. Having 7 and Paris over there gives us the option of using them (or not) if needed for a second away team. Don't feel that you need to use that, though. are you kidding? what if they end up in the sidelines for a little while, and then end up beaming up picard just in time before he's served between the fish & the chicken! I love that you brought them into it. like you said, this is meant to be fun, so we can do whatever we want to do! > > If it's not working, just take it out. We might want to go back and make some changes as we go along anyway. I confess my editing never really improved - even with university my tutors would occassionally shake their heads, so any suggestions you have, please let me know. mind you, last time i tried to edit a particular peice of mine i ended up deleting the whole thing the 15th time! > > I'm also glad that you have a great sense of humor. I can't resist being a > little silly sometimes! hell yeah! you're talking to the girl whose idols were miss piggy & the goodies when growing up > > Remember, have fun on your long weekend, and don't feel that you have to do this right now. You'll get to it when you get to it. We have plenty of time. > thanks. i ended up drinking a lot over the long weekend for some reason (??) i had a few drinks with an old uni friend from when we lived together on student residence & saw "XXX" together. trust me, you cannot see this movie sober. then i went to an 'oktoberfest' festival the following day. german sausages yum! ***** (Hey M, I’m glad you brought in 7 of 9 now. When we look at how the colonists treat outsiders with discrimination we can see how 7 is having trouble trying to fit in when everyone knows & some still treat her as a Borg drone. There could be something about the colony’s atmosphere that prevents transporting so Paris can stay on as the one who shuttles the Away Team down to the surface. Oh, you probably noticed the (name) for Paris & Torres’s child. I haven’t seen the Voyager finale yet so I don’t know her name, do you?) ***** Date: 10:30:25 10/12/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: narnia3 Size: 1.80 kb Show headers | View message source Hi there, I really enjoyed reading chapter 3. You have the crew's personalities done to perfection! I can hardly wait for them to interact with TNG crew, and than with those nutsy people on the planet! I like the way that you smoothly blended the story along, and I liked how you presented Seven, Anika, as being more 'human'. I thought that your closing idea was great! I will get to work on chapter 4 during the week. I have the worst memory of anyone that you have ever met. I didn't remember a mention of the baby's name. I tried to research that, and I found this incredible website! You have to see this! Don't look at it if you want to be surprised about that Voyager episode. It has pictures, conversation, and basically the whole show in a nutshell! There was no mention of the baby's name there. I will ask my sister, just incase I missed something. Nothing gets past her! If she doesn't know, maybe my younger daughter does. She is totally obsessed with Voyager. She saw each episode several times! Well, have a great weekend! This is the link to that website: http://www.talax.fsnet.co.uk/ependgr.htm ***** Date: 22:51:34 10/15/2002 From: narnia3 To: Maryann (2) Size: 2.13 kb Show headers | View message source Hi M, Thanks for the gp's and the ratings. I really appreciate it! Also your chapter 4 was excellent. You captured Adm Janeway in her communication to Picard wonderfully. And I liked how you set up a scene coming up with Seven and Guinan. We can use this as Seven only opening up for a seccond time to someone else other than Janeway. Almost like the way Guinan opened up Ensign Ro in a way. Also your tech jargon was masterful with the trouble transporting down. Do you have possums in your country? We have possums here. It sounds like some beautiful country around your home. Sounds like an area where I use to live when I was a kid for a few years, the Blue Mtns. It's a half hour drive away from where I am now with most of it still National Parks so there are kangaroos, wildlife and beautiful swimming holes. Did you ever see "Sirens" with Hugh Grant? That was filmed there. Next weekend I should have Chapter 5 done. I know there's no rush, but I feel like we're on a rollercoaster and I don't want to slow down, it's too much fun! ***** Date: 18:09:04 11/23/2002 From: narnia3 To: Maryann (2) Size: 2.23 kb Show headers | View message source Hi Maryann, Sorry Chapter 7 is so late. I've been doing extra hours at work so my personal time schedule got screwed up. I started Chapt. 7 when I got home from work, but I was so tired I didn't finish till today (sunday). Sunday's I usually try to make my writing day. Last Sunday my live in lover Nick got back from a 2 week stint of business in the UK so that last sunday got taken up. The deadline is Dec 15 so should we start to round the story off? You know, find Capt. Picard before the feast, or maybe just as they were about to carve him up? Maybe do this in the next two chapters then one last chapter to finish the story off? I was thinking to myself today as to what kind of punishment they would use? In the final chapter of the story, how would Starfleet punish the colonists? Take away their technology so they can't leave the planet and put a warning buoy around the planets surface to warn people not to go down there? I just can't imagine Starfleet trying to arrest every single colonist and child for eating outsiders. I'd really like to hear your opinion on this. ***** Date: 06:16:25 11/30/2002 From: narnia3 To: Maryann (2) Size: 3.09 kb Show headers | View message source Hey M, > > > I noticed that you had one shuttlecraft in this chapter. That's good, but I think that I made Tuvok want two shuttle's to land at different sides of the town. No problem though -- it's easy enough for us to make a slight change in Tuvok's commands in that chapter, so that the story will flow more smoothly. I know it doesn't sound 'logical' sending only one shuttlecraft down to a potentially dangerous situation. But because these people aren't apart of the Federation anymore do you think Starfleet would let them go down with more force? Also Seven and Crusher just found out what the whole planet's population were doing. So wouldn't they send just one shuttlecraft so not to be too intimidating at first, but to make 'enquiries'....because Tuvok doesn't know what Seven or Crusher just found out after they left. Since Crusher ran off to tell Will, then he would send in another or maybe two or three to get the Away Team out just in time at a crisis point. So maybe the second or third shuttles could come down as a rescue mission to get the first team out (almost like black hawk down - leave no man behind!) > > We will have to go over the whole story when we are done anyway to check for things like that and also to check for any spelling errors, etc. before we submit it in the contest. > Hey M, what are your editing skills like? I admit mine aren't the greatest. I'll go over the whole piece first to try and make it gel together, but would it be OK for you to do the final edit? Whenever I handed in essays at Uni I would get my grammar etc corrected by friends. I admit to the fact that I am blind when going over my own work, and I can't look at it with an objective and analytical eye till maybe a month later! (pathetic and up-myself, I know) ***** Date: 04:56:55 12/05/2002 From: narnia3 To: Maryann (2) Size: 3.09 kb Show headers | View message source Hey M > >I saved all of our e-mails, just incase we might need >them, and it looks as though we will. If you want, I can >start making an item of them (selectively), and another of >our 'first draft' (what we have so far). I could start on >that tomorrow. I would give you the pass key to 'OK' it, >and you can copy and paste it all so that we have >duplicates of everything in each of our ports. > > What do you think? I've kept copies of our emails too for notes and stuff, so maybe I don't have to copy those but the draft idea is great! I appreciate this, really! I've read your chapter and it was BRILLIANT! Setting Picard up on the parade float almost as a doomed prom queen is a riot! hahahahaha! I'm going to start on the final chapter tommorrow morning. I'm working saturday again and sat night a bloody xmas party that my boyfriend is dragging me too then sunday afternoon he's dragging me to another one! i've told him we have this due soon, but then he sulks and chucks a tantrum even a 10 year old would be afraid of! So I don't know how, but somehow I will hopefully have the final chapter sent to you for your opinion and editing on sunday. honestly, i've been thinking of chucking a sickie tommorrow anyway and not going to work so maybe i'll see what happens. > > Well, I hope that you are having a great week so far! ***** Date: 12:52:26 12/07/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: narnia3 Size: 2.97 kb Show headers | View message source Good afternoon (or whatever time it is where you are!), I wanted to let you know that I put all of our original, untouched work together in one item. The contest requires a 'first draft' so I thought that this should be seen, so that all of the changes we spoke about will be apparent in our finished work. Centainly, you can turn in all of the required items to the contest forum (I think that is fitting, since you were the one that registered us), unless you don't want to - perhaps because of the amount of items in your port. I don't care one way or the other. Either way, we are both going to have our story in our ports! Anyway, I guess I was anxious to see it all together! Of course, it still needs the final chapter! It will be easy for us to work with, and make changes this way. You said that you will give it the first going over (In fact, you mentioned once before that you changed a line, something Data said, in order to write the next paragraph). We also have to fix the part about the amount of shuttles. So, if you want, you can copy and paste it into something, and check it like that when the time comes. I will need to put the final chapter into it first. Also, I think that Weird has a 'pet peeve' for spelling errors. I work with most of the judges in a Stories writing group. The good news is that we don't have much competition, and also I LIKE OUR STORY! As discussed, I will give it a second going over before we turn it in. I already ordered an image for the final copy. Of course you are welcome to use it too -- this is a team thing all the way, but if you can't have pics, I'll just keep it in my port. I'll put the e-mails in my port, too. I don't think that I have all of them, so I might just cut and paste what you have if that's alright with you. Otherwise, I can just put what I have (I would chop out much of it LOL). This is exciting -- we are at the end! In the meantime, this is the link to that item. I put a passkey on it with four ones as the number 1111. I hope it works, because I never set a passkey before! 583118 First Draft For Our Collaborative Story [Rated: PG-13] --The first draft of the collaborative contest entry, written by Maryann and Narnia3. By: Maryann Let me know if you need anything. Maryann ***** Subject: Hey M, Date: 00:44:12 12/09/2002 From: narnia3 To: Maryann (2) Size: 2.27 kb Show headers | View message source Hey M, Gees I'm exhausted! I just finished the story and I haven't edited yet, I'm sorry, but my brain has turned to mush (you know like the dirty snow that sits in the gutter) and I just wanted to get the story to you as soon as possible. Also when I edit a story I usually have to wait a couple of days to get into a different mind set. I have to look at it differently so I can see the mistakes or think to myself, "that doesn't sound right" and fix it up. I wrote two last chapters because I tried to follow you're instructions of how you might like to see it, the getting Picard off the float and the scene between Paris, Tuvok and Seven on the way home. I just thought the scene with the three old shipmates should be in another chapter because it's a completely different scene. I think the draft link you've posted is a great idea and I like the sound of adding a picture! I don't think I can add pictures (let alone know how to) so I certainly don't mind if you have a picture and I don't Cheers, xo ***** Date: 10:10:12 12/09/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: narnia3 Size: 3.79 kb Show headers | View message source On 12/09/2002 at 00:44:12, "narnia3@Writing.Com" wrote: Hi there, To say that you did a fabulous job on the conclusion to our story would be an understatement! It seems that you found our humor again with several lines like: "It would be a pity to cook the turkey even before it reaches the oven." It is also very action packed, and worded very nicely. I didn't want you to think that I gave you instructions, only ideas! You could have done anything that you wanted. I'm glad for what you wrote though, because it was perfect -- right up to the touching ending. I think that we will have to take out what Worf said in the last chapter, because you sort of had him repeat himself in this one. (When he spotted the food float) I like what you made him say -- it was really great! What comes next, Kate? You mentioned once that you have all of the e-mails to make into an item, and you also said that you would give the whole story it's first 'going over', but you also said that you are exhausted! I can do all of that if you wish. Let me know what needs to be done, and where we are at. In the meantime, I will add this last bit to the first draft item. I'm glad that 'pass key thing' worked because it's the first one that I ever set up! By for now, Maryann ***** Subject: e-mails Date: 12:01:36 12/12/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: narnia3 Size: 2.11 kb Show headers | View message source Hi Kate, I went ahead and created an item of our e-mails. I don't have all of them, but I think that the judges only need to see proof that we actually worked on it. I thought it would be good to only put in the e-mails that we TALKED about the story, and not the chapters -- those will be in the first draft item as well as the finished piece. It will probably all sound boring to them anyway -- they might have rather read some of our 'gossip' type e-mails. LOL Anyway... So, I didn't finish yet. I still have to work with it and add more, so even I don't know how it will turn out. I don't know if it's my internet or my computer, but I'm zipping through it with the speed of on old turtle. (I wonder what the chances of Santa Bringing me a new computer would be! LOL) I wanted to send you the pass code, though, while I'm thinking of it. With any luck, I'll be done by the time you read this. I used 'ones' again so that it will be easy to remember. 1111 You will be the only one who can see it at this point, so if there is anything that you think I should change or add before it goes public, just let me know. If you have anything that you think is relevant, that I didn't have, please forward it to me. You can just copy and paste it all into the item that you will hand in to the contest, if you think it's sufficient. It really doesn't make any sense to do the same thing all over again at your end. Speak to you soon! Maryann ***** Date: 12:55:30 12/13/2002 From: Maryann (2) To: narnia3 Size: 1.85 kb Show headers | View message source Hi Kate, Don't worry about doing the first edit -- I just finished doing that. I put the whole thing through a spell and grammer check twice! It didn't like 'convictor' and 'conject', but I left them the way they are anyway. I did learn that neither of us should ever enter a spelling bee LOL. I fixed at least a dozen mistakes. I also did a slight grammer fix as needed. I looked up the correct spelling of Geordi's name -- there is no 'e' at the end. I made several small changes, but I did it in a way that kept them as small as possible. Off the top of my head: I changed the part about Paris' child (no name mentioned); I changed a little of the scene with the transporting malfunction; and I changed some of what Warf said the first and second time he saw the 'food' float. I think that the story looks good, and flows much more smoothly now. I printed it out to give it one more 'look-over' before I send it to you. I have to quickly run out to a basketball game, but I will e-mail it to you as soon as I get back. Then, if you would, look it over to make any final changes, and maybe we can get this in today or tomorrow. Speak to you very soon! Maryann |