Just Loti

         Let me introduce myself. I'm Linda. I have always been Linda since I was born and I think that is a very nice name for me. Being called Patricia or Gloria or Samantha just doesn't do a thing for me.

         There are a few things I want you to know about me although I don't know how important they really are. One thing I am not into is self importance, even though I am quite satisfied with who I am - give or take a bit here and there.

         I often like to be alone. In spite of this fact I also like people - in a quiet way. You won't find me at parties or large gatherings, but if I go, you might find me out on the balcony in a deep philosophical chat with one other person. And yet I have been living with friends and now family so I have been daily surrounded with people.

         You might think I am lonely. I am not. I am far too busy to be lonely. Being alone does not mean being lonely. Neither am I depressed as somehow I forgot how to do that since I was 20 years old.

         Life interests me. From watching a lone butterfly coloring the landscape with fluttering wings to watching a baby take his first steps, I am interested. In fact, I am probably interested in too many things and this leaves me a bit dispersed.

         Death interests me. I am not afraid of death, as I understand its mechanism. I have died a thousand times and lived a thousand lives. Am I too bold to say that? Death is as much around us as food and sleep and birth and decay. Why cherish it like some sacred thing?

         Throughout my upbringing I was blessed with loving and caring parents and a younger sister who put up with me. In spite of this, I was restless and wanted to know and understand about this thing called life and this thing called death and this thing called soul/spirit. Who am I, why am I here, and where am I going?

         I read, I searched and I found the answers I wanted. But still I want more answers to yet deeper questions. Funny how answers sometimes bring on more questions!

         It is thus that you will find me going on long solitary walks, reading books with intriguing titles and engaging in thoughtful conversations. Or sometimes you will find me shut up in my room to listen to music while I write letters or type on a story or two.

         Music is one of my greater pleasures, both in playing the piano myself and composing my own compositions, and in listening to light jazz. I like Enya and others of that style.

         In religion, I am my own preacher and I accept all forms of religion as long as they enlighten mankind and lift him up from the clay of his creation. Enough said.

         I may seem intense but I seldom take life seriously. This makes it easy for me to get along with other people especially children who seldom take anything too seriously at least for any length of time.

         This is in contrast to when I was a teen where I took life far too seriously and had my feelings hurt at the drop of a hat pin several times a day. I think I was living to be a scape goat or a victim during that time period. I am amazed at how I've come so far! At least I understand how it feels to be sitting on the stool of self pity and degradation.

         I am happily divorced and friends to all my past husbands. My kids have all grown up and love me. My grandkids think I am God's angel. What more can I ask for? Give me another 4000 words and I will tell you!

         There are several subjects that I am keenly interested in. Music, of course. And writing. Then there is the field of the supernatural and extraterrestrial life. Reading takes me to fantasy, science fiction and self improvement books. I am fascinated with literature about Atlantis, UFOs and what makes other people tick. Did I say I was consistent?

         My dislikes are few but certain. Waiting, being idle, antagonistic people, headaches, loud music, horror movies and laziness.

         On days off you will seldom see me at the movies or laying on the beach or watching TV. I am more apt to be writing, playing music or working on my computer.

         My childhood was spent in the Canadian woods at my dad's lumber mill. I woke up in the morning to the whine of the saw mill and the sweet smell of sawdust and fresh cut lumber. Right in my backyard was the winding river full of frogs and fish where I would spend days fishing and dangling my feet in the cool bubbling water. Running water at our home meant hauling water from the river and using the dishwasher meant getting my sister and I to wash dishes.

         I grew up a tomboy with two dogs, a fishing pole, a box kite, hockey skates and a bike. Barbie dolls weren't invented yet and I probably wouldn't know what to do with them anyhow.

         Today I am very much feminine but not the frilly kind. Nor am I into women's lib or any such thing that separates the girls from the human race. I am in support of the human race as a whole even though I think they sometimes fall short of my expectations. And then again sometime they exceed them too.

         But then who am I to criticize since I fall into those categories too.

         I have my shortcomings too which to me are too nasty to mention although others might not even consider them worth mentioning. All in one's point of view I guess.

         Would I want to meet myself? Probably. But I would be careful not to trust myself too explicitly. You never know with characters like me!