Here in Heaven

A/N: Ok, couple of things you might want to know. First of all, I wrote this story over the summer. So this takes place in the future, but SD-6 hasn’t been destroyed and Sydney and Vaughn haven’t gotten together.

Secondly, I hope this isn’t confusing. All the parts in bold italics are what’s going on back on Earth. And for those of you who don’t catch on, this is from Danny’s point of view. Ok, with all that said, enjoy!



Here In Heaven

SCENE ONE

I wonder if people remember me. I’m sure some do; the few that I can count on one hand. Everyone else? Each patient I’ve treated and person I’ve met? I don’t know if I can depend on the fact that the memory of me still lingers in their mind.

Do you remember me?

You do, I’m almost certain.

But not in the way most people would like to be recalled.

Tell me honestly, when you think of me, who am I?

I know your answer. I’m the guy who was killed in his bathtub. The moron who got drunk and paid for it. The prime example of why not to bask your sorrows in alcohol when you find out your fiancé is an international super- spy.

At first, when I first arrived here I mean, I regretted it. I’d wish I had never picked up that telephone, never dialed that familiar number.

Slowly though, as time in my paradise passed and I watched her grieve and pity and eventually, gradually heal, I realized it was for the best. Had my death been prevented, she would have never discovered the truth and never would’ve been compelled to fight them.

I’m so incredibly proud of her for all she’s done. I wished I could tell her that.

But at this point, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here talking to you. Shouldn’t I be off plucking a harp somewhere?

Well, I’m here to tell a story.

Angels see everything. Angels know the truth. Angels have plenty of stories.

“Sydney, here’s the counter mission: we go to Estonia. We’ve received intel…SD-6 most likely has it too. Sloane was probably planning to tell you about it later today, which is why I called you so early. In Estonia, there’s a Rambaldi device hidden. This is the one that the intelligence world believes to be the one that brings together Rambaldi’s major project in its entirety. We have to get it before SD-6. It’s imperative.”

Every day I watched her.

Not from a cloud, though. Not fluttering merrily on silver wings through a bright blue oblivion.

Heaven, in actuality, isn’t exactly how most people picture it. Describing it is irrelevant though, and I wouldn’t be able to anyway, so let’s move on with the story.

I watched her as she worked, so strong and brave and smart.

I watched her as she spent time with her friends, smiling but anxious.

Francie was starting a restaurant.

Will was… being my best friend Will. He was always getting himself into one situation or another. Now he was making the same mistakes I made and getting himself in way too far. But that’s a story I’m sure you’ve heard told quite enough.

He loved Sydney, I’m sure of that too. She loved Will, but not in the way he would’ve hoped.

I watched as she slowly, very slowly and carefully, strengthened her relationship with her father.

I kept a close eye as she re-met her mother and was with her as she dealt with the emotions that arose because of it.

But my favorite aspect, and the one most ironic that I would enjoy, is when she is with her handler.

Michael Vaughn, I’d come to realize, was her escape, her freedom, her confidant, her happiness… the one she loved. I knew she felt guilty, like she should never love again after me.

Every day, I try to let her know she’s wrong.

“Vaughn, I’m in the room and I’ve found the safe. What should I be looking for?”

I think sometimes she feels it, but I’m not positive. She hasn’t said anything to him yet, and she doesn’t do much to show her feelings.

She must still feel guilty. Otherwise, she’d screw the rules. Protocol was standing in her way, but the Sydney Bristow I’d known and loved, (and still do) wouldn’t let something so easily defeated like that control her. So I knew something else must have been preventing her.

Something like me.

But I felt that very soon, all that would change. Something was going to happen, and she’d finally see that she didn’t need to feel that way anymore. I couldn’t be sure what would happen, but I sensed that it would be big and I’d have a large role in it.

“It’s just a tiny silver disk, the size of a quarter. Grab it and meet me at the extraction point… oh, no. Syd…? Syd! SYDNEY!”

Time works differently here, you know. It exists only the way your mind creates it. If you want a day to go by, a day has gone by. If you want it to be next week or next minute even, it will be. But it doesn’t effect time on earth. Although a week has gone by for me, I can watch and see that it’s been only an hour on earth.

Like I said, can’t explain it.

But three weeks passed for me during that one moment that I watched in disbelief and wonder.

“Vaughn! Vaughn! Help- I’m… I’m down! The bullet got my thigh. I can’t get away… please, come help me before they get back!”

I felt the strangest emotions during those three weeks in a moment. I was terrified; I wanted them to live. But a feeling of hope drifted to my heart, wanting to see her again up close.

“Syd- they found me! I’m down too…I’m so… sorry. I….can’t….get to you…. They left me… they thought I was… dead… already. But they got… my stomach…. Syd, we’ll… we’ll… make it… somehow…. Don’t worry….”

And then there he was. Unmistakably him. He materialized before me, matted light brown hair and green eyes. The eyes were filled with confusion.

He looked up at me. “W… what happened…?”

“Michael Vaughn, I presume.”

SCENE TWO

“Michael Vaughn, I presume.”

There he stood, pure confusion filling his green eyes, his light brown hair tousled. “Wh… what happened… where am I? Who are you… and what about Sydney…?”

He didn’t seem to know where to start. I didn’t really know where to start.

“I believe you know who I am, Michael,” I stated simply.

Realization swept over his puzzled features. “Daniel Hecht.”

I smiled slightly and nodded.

“But that means… oh, God. I didn’t make it…”

“Oh, you may very well make it,” I informed him. “The CIA has just brought both you and Sydney to a hospital outside Estonia. You’re losing a lot of blood, but you may still pull through.”

“Dr. Roberts, hand me the syringe… oh, no. She’s flat lining…come on, come on… we can’t lose her! 1…2…3… clear! …. Okay… okay, she’s back. She’s back for right now at least. And the man, he’s fading fast. We put him in intensive care. We’re not sure he’ll make it either…”

That didn’t satisfy him. I knew what else he wanted, but I wanted to hear him say it.

He did. “…And Sydney…?”

“…Is being brought into the room next to you. She’s not doing much better than you are, but the doctors have hope,” I answered honestly.

“Then what am I doing here?”

I sighed. “I said you may make it. But right now your physical form is in terrible condition. Right now, you’re kind of in… think of it as a ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ occurrence.”

“So… I’m having a near death experience?”

I shrugged. “I suppose. So, while we’re waiting, I think we have lots to talk about.”

“Like what?”

I eyed him carefully. “You are in love with her, just like I was and always will be.”

I took him off guard. His expression changed to one of a dazed alarm. Every crease in his forehead, every detail of his face, every shade in his eyes, and the crevice in his chin- suddenly clearly visible with the disbelief my comment rendered.

This was a man who was suddenly brought face to face with the dead fiancé of the woman he obviously cared about more than anything and knew he could possibly take his last breath any minute, and I find it fit to bring up his love life.

“What?” he managed.

“I know how it feels, what it’s like to love Sydney Bristow. So what I’m wondering is why you are holding back?”

“We may be losing her again… bring her into ER. We can still save them both, I know it. Come on, Bristow. You’re going to live…. How’s Vaughn holding up? His heartbeat is returning to normal? Great.”

“I’m… I… we have a protocol…”

“Oh, Michael. Michael, Michael, Michael. I’ve seen your resistance of protocol in action. Where’s Sydney is concerned, you just don’t care about it. So what’s really keeping you?”

This was obviously where it became too much. “Look, ‘Danny,’ I’m not having this conversation. This is a dream. I’m going to wake up and find that I never went on that mission with Sydney, never was… “almost” killed, and never talked to you in Heaven… or whatever this place is. None of this is happening. So I’m not allowing myself to get too friendly with a figment of my imagination,” he affirmed

I chortled. “Interesting point. Maybe this is a dream. But even if it is, you still need something to do until your REM cycle is complete, so tell me the truth.”

He sighed, defeated. “I don’t know if she loves me that way.”

“Mr. Vaughn, this is Jack Bristow. I need to talk to you about Sydney. I just visited her. They think she’s going to make it. She’s strong; they say she’ll hold up. But they’re not sure about you. You lost a lot of blood, maybe too much.

“But what I came in here to say to you is that we haven’t gotten along very well. I haven’t gotten along well with most people, especially where my daughter’s safety is concerned. I know you have feelings for her that go beyond what agent and handler should have. I frowned upon that. But, Mr. Vaughn, I know that Sydney needs you in her life. She can’t lose you. You have to live for her. I can’t stand to see my daughter lose anyone else.”

“Is that all?” I pressed.

His eyes darted downward and he nodded slowly.

“Michael, I would think you’d know that’s not true. Have you seen the way she looks at you? Have you noticed the way she smiles or glows when you’re around? She’s practically a step away from sending you love letters at dead drops.”

“I guess I… I’ve thought maybe…”

“You know it’s true, Michael,” I assured him. “If you live through this, do me a favor.”

He looked up. “Hmm?”

“Tell her.”

He began to nod, profound understanding shining in his eyes.

“We’ve… we’ve got him back! Dr. Ryan, we have his heartbeat regular again. He’s regaining consciousness.”

Just then, I felt a jolt, a feeling, a warning of what was to happen.

“It was nice meeting you, Michael. Remember what I told you, and I wish you the best of luck.”

Before he could ask what I meant, he faded away like a rainbow after a storm.

The doctors had succeeded. He would live.

But I still had another mission to take care of.

SCENE THREE

We’ve got him back. He’s going to be fine. Ok, come on, Bristow. Hang in there…

I could feel it. She was coming next.

And as quickly as he had gone, she came. She saw me. Her hazel eyes fell on me and she gasped, unsure.

I smiled at her and nodded once. Yes, I’m here.

"...Danny?"

"It's me."

She stepped forward and reached out to touch my hand, to be sure I was real.

Her eyes glittered with tears. "Danny."

"Missed you, Syd."

There was too much that needed to be said and so little time.

"I missed you, too. Oh, God, Danny. I love you so much." She brushed her hand against my cheek.

"I love you too, Syd. But I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

“I need you to move on. Please, don’t feel guilty about me. Don’t think you’re betraying me by allowing someone else to make you happy.”

She searched my eyes, confused. “I…”

“No, Syd. Please. You’re not betraying me. And I know you won’t forget me or let anyone replace me. But all I want now is for you to be happy. And I know that you are with Michael.”

“Mi… Vaughn? He… did you… did you talk to him?”

I nodded. “He’s a wonderful person, Sydney. You deserve each other.”

“We can’t… we can’t,” she stated flatly, eyes still clouded, voice still full of wonder.

“I won’t accept that. I know you, Sydney Amber Bristow. I know that if you really want something, nothing stands in your way.”

“Well this is… different.”

“How so?”

“It just… is,” she responded weakly.

I sighed. “Syd…”

“Danny, I wish it could work like that. I wish I could just be in love like everyone else. But my life just isn’t that simple,” she quietly said.

“Isn’t it?”

She sadly laughed. “You of all people should know that. I loved you so much that I couldn’t bear to keep anything from you. I was so selfish and now you’re gone. And it’s true, I… I have feelings for Vaughn. I finally meet someone, and it’s the one person I can’t have. Let’s also not forget Noah. My life just isn’t a fairy tale. I’ll lose everyone I love and it’ll be my fault when I never see them again.”

“How can you say that, Syd?” I questioned. “How can you stand here with me, your dead fiancé, and say that nothing in your life works out and you’ll lose everyone you love forever? I know you can’t truly believe that after all this. There’s something else.”

“It’s been three years and you still know me as well as you know yourself.”

“What is it?” I restated.

“It’s just…” she began. “I know it sounds stupid, but ever since you died I’ve had this… this naive hope. I knew you were gone. I knew you weren’t coming back. But there was a part of me that wanted to believe it anyway. If I… if I move on with Vaughn, or anyone, I’ll know it’s completely over. That’ll be it. No more dreams of Sydney Hecht.”

“No, but there’ll be dreams of Sydney Vaughn instead,” I reminded here.

“And that’s what you want?” she whispered.

“I want you to stop feeling guilty about me and I want you to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let yourself be in love and find reasons to enjoy living. Because, Syd, life’s just too short, and to experience it alone makes it pretty damn empty too.”

She smiled though her tears and said again, “I love you so much, you know that? Nothing will ever change that.”

“I know. And I love you too…. By the way, the agents at Badenweiler and Noah- neither of them blame you. They said to stop thinking it was your fault.”

Sydney’s eyes widened, but she remained silent.

“Yes, Noah’s here too. He could’ve killed you with that knife but he hesitated and let himself die instead. Life sacrifice for another brings you here. Both he and those agents want you to stop blaming yourself. You did what you had to do,” I told her.

She nodded. “Thank you.”

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice from behind us. “And if it’s not too much trouble, tell Michael that I love him and miss him. Tell him I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when he… visited.”

“Oh, there you are!” I said to him. “I was wondering when you would show up.”

“Well,” he said, “I wanted to earlier… given who was here. But I couldn’t talk to him. I had to… give the doctors a little help. As much as I love him, he has more to do before he stays here permanently.”

At this point, Sydney looked extremely confused but when her eyes locked onto his emerald green ones, her face changed into an expression of understanding.

He stepped closer to her. “And for the record, you are nothing like her. I would have loved to have had you as a daughter.”

She smiled wider, a silent thanks.

“She’s coming back to normal. Just a few more minutes and we’ll have her back…”

“Syd, it’s almost time for you to go back.”

Her smile disappeared and a film of tears formed again. “I… I don’t…”

“You have to go back.”

“I know. But I don’t want to lose you again.”

I pulled her into my arms. “Oh, Sydney. Don’t you see now? You’re not going to lose me. I’m watching you and protecting you every day. You’ll never lose me.”

“I love you,” she murmured again through her crying.

“I love you too. Please don’t cry,” I wiped away her tears. Softly, I began to sing into her hair. “Why do you build me up, buttercup baby just to bring me down… and mess me around. And then worst of all, you never call baby when you say you will… but I love you still…”

“Danny…”

“I need you… more than anyone darling, you know that I have from the start. So build me up, buttercup. Don’t break my heart….”

I took her hands and held her out at arms length. “It’ll be okay, Syd.”

I gave her a last kiss, soft and full of love.

“Bye, Danny.”

“Goodbye, Sydney.”

And then she was gone.

“Hey,” he said softly as her eyes fluttered open.

“Hi.”

“How are you?” he sat on the edge of the bed.

“I… I think I’m okay now. You?”

“I think I’m alright too. We’ve been here for three days, you know. They just told me I was allowed to get out of my bed and walk around,” he told her.

“Good…”

She sat up and their eyes locked, and they fell silent. At the same moment, they began to talk. “Syd, there’s something I…”

“Vaughn, something happened…”

She nodded towards him and smiled. “You can go first.”

“Ok… but don’t think I’m crazy. I… I think I saw him… Danny. I might have been dreaming. But it felt so real,” he laughed softly. “I’m insane.”

“No, you’re not,” she took his hand. “The same thing… it happened to me, too.”

“It… it did?”

She nodded. “And I think I saw… I mean, right before I came back… he told me to tell you he misses you. And he loves you. He had to protect you from… from dying, so he couldn’t see you…”

His eyes glittered with tears and he was struck speechless. “He… thank you.”

And without caring who was watching, he reached over and gently touched her cheek. “Syd, there’s something else. When I was talking to Danny, he said…”

She held a hand up. “Me too.”

“And it made me realize… I don’t want to waste any more of this life.”

“It’s just too short…” she agreed, remembering his words.

“Sydney…” he took her hand again. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, and leaned forward.

Right there, in the hospital, they shared their first kiss. It was sweet and perfect and filled with promise.

And the doubt and fears and guilt and darkness could all melt away, off into some unseen oblivion, and they could finally live their lives to the fullest. They knew that they’d always be protected and safe, that the people they loved were watching over them.

They broke apart and like some invisible force was guiding them, they looked up at the sky and smiled, knowing that there would always be someone smiling back down.

I grinned widely as I watched the scene before me, incredibly glad that it had worked out just like I wanted it to.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and looked up, seeing the green eyes smiling down at me.

“You did a good job, Daniel,” he told me honestly. “It’s wonderful knowing that the people we love are happy now.”

“Yeah, William, it is.”

And we walked off, giving one last smile down at them, watching them share another kiss. They smiled at each other and walked off as well, hand and hand, into their future.

Mission accomplished.

*FIN*

A/N: Ok, I know how incredibly corny that was. Whoa, I didn’t know I couldn’t even write anything with that corniness capacity. Lol. But oh well. Please review!