4:17 a.m.

Groggy and barely woken
The only light in the room
The red glow of my alarm clock
That glares at me the early hour
Of 4:17 am
My mind painted in shades of
Sanguine and despair
Though I know now why
It runs without ceasing
Freeze-frames of time
Flash before my blurry eyes
O how I miss him/love him
My body, numb and unfeeling
From sleep just barely wakened from
Is entwined in tangled sheets of worn flannel
And my head is playing a continuous loop
Of unconnected thoughts and pictures
Rivers of doubt/streams of confusion
Running between the chasms that are my darkest
Ponderings and secrets
A sleepy finger runs itself along my hairline
Pushing aside the wavy strands
As my body finally registers
The chill in the air
And makes its way deeper
Into the disheveled mess of blankets
Piled in the middle of my bed
My mind, still running through its constant supply
Of random ramblings, sighs with
Contentment/exhaustion
As it lulls itself
Back to a dreamless sleep