Me and Bigfoot

Beeeep, Beeeep!

“Come on bigfoot we’re going to be late for work.” I yelled out my car window for my hairy pal.

“Sorry buddy,” said Bigfoot. “I couldn’t find my watch in all my arm hair.”

“That’s understandable,” I said as I drove to work. “But hey after work I thought we could go fishing or something. But not with our bare hands like your used to … I’m going to show you how to use a fishin’ pole.”

“Oh great, I’ve always wanted to learn how to use one of those things, but doesn’t that hurt the fish,” he said.

“Well no more than when you sink your huge-ass fangs into them,” I said.

“Hmm I guess you have a point … Hey can we stop at Star Bucks before work?” asked Bigfoot.

“Good lord man, we’re already late … and besides I don’t have any money on me, and you still haven’t paid me back for last time!” I said.

“Ok, ok . How much did I owe you this time? I’ll just …”

“Oh hell no! you’re not paying me in plaster cast foot prints again,” I said.

“Oh come on you can sell those on Ebay for big bucks …”

“No!, well we’re at work so lock my door when you get out,” I said.

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“Hey Josh,” Bigfoot said from his desk.

“What?”

“Did you get that e-mail from the boss about next Wednesday?” he asked.

“Yeah the new dress code,” I said. “Ha ha looks like your going to have to start wearing a tie.”

“God! I know that sucks,” Bigfoot said. “I hate ties feels like I’m being strangled by a really weak guy all day.”

“Yeah but at least you don’t have to wear pants,” I said.

“Well I guess you’re right,” he said.

“Of course I am.”

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“Man I thought the day would never end,” I said.

“I know man Mr. Renalds sure can be a beast sometime,” said Bigfoot. “So where are we going to go fishing at? I know this great place my grandpa used to go to until everyone else started going there.”

“Where is that?” I asked.

“Bluff Creek,” said Bigfoot. “The tourists have really died down there so I think it won’t be that crowded.”

“Ok sounds good then,” I said as I took the overpass to Bluff Creek.

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“Ok so how do I use this thing?” asked Bigfoot as he fumbled around with the fishing pole and tackle getting tangled in the line.

“Good lord you sure are uncoordinated,” I said. “I’m surprised more of your family doesn’t get caught. Ok look you take the hook …”

I proceeded to show Bigfoot how to properly bait the hook and threw the line out into the water for him.

“Ok now when you feel a fish tug your line give it a yank and reel it in,” I said.

“Ok I got it,” said Bigfoot

Just then Bigfoot got a bite and he yanked his line and began reeling in his catch.

“Ouchie Ouch Ouchitie Ouch!” proclaimed a voice.

“Holy crap bigfoot what did you just catch?” I asked as a huge body surfaced near the bank.

“I think it’s the Loch Ness Monster,” Bigfoot said. “Yeah I think it is Nessie, what the hell are you doing here?”

“What’s the big idea hooking me like that? I swear you try and get some relaxation and its always something,” she said.

“I’m sorry Nessie didn’t’ know you were swimming here,” said Bigfoot. “I would never have intentionally hooked such a pretty monster as yourself.”

“Awe, gee it’s ok Bigfoot,” blushed Nessie. “Wow you really do have big feet, I thought that was just a myth!”

“Nahh … you know what they say about 8-foot-tall bipedal hominids with big feet don’t you?” said Bigfoot.

“Oh God,” I said. “Come on Bigfoot not again, don’t you remember what happened between you and the Tooth Fairy? That’s how the chupacabra came about, and I know we don’t want another one of those running around!”