Not Yet

CODE: D (set in the D Is For Damien storyline)

TAKES PLACE DURING (specific story): NA

PAIRING: Lt. Alan Kincaid/Jenna (M/F)

EXPLANATION: Lt. Kincaid is probably one of the unlikeliest characters to ever hook up with anybody, period. Yet I had to at least explore the idea. Soooo...I'm not quite sure if this scene ever really took place or not. You can imagine it whichever way you want.

DISCLAIMERS: "A schizophrenic cop? Puh-leeze!" Yes, I know that already; artistic license!! In the novel he's from, I'm going to sometime change "schizophrenia" to "PTSD"--so the part with the necklace here is now outdated. I've also come up with a new idea regarding Kinnie's personal life, so it's likely this scene never truly happened. Lastly, Jenna USED to have a last name somewhere, but...I lost it. I think it began with a K. Argh!

* * * * *

Not Yet

He met her eyes--his eyes such a rich dark green that she felt she could get lost in them--and after the customary pause he touched her face. His fingers were light on her jawline. He'd done that before but it still made her heart beat faster. He stared at her for a moment more before he leaned forward and she leaned forward and their lips met.

Not just their lips but their mouths, their tongues. His kiss was passionate but gentle, not demanding enough that he should startle her. They made barely any sound as for a moment they gently bit and tested each other. Tested, for what could come next.

They'd been through this before, too. So far, all that they had done was kiss, with an occasional touch to the arm or side. They'd never gone any further, and he'd never insisted that they do. However, Jenna felt that they had to go further this time--not completely, but further. As he kissed her she had a fervent desire for him to see her with her clothes removed, naked before him. She wanted that acceptance, that he liked the way she looked. She wanted to see him, also. It fueled an ache deep inside her.

Kincaid, while not breaking away from her, started at the top of her shirt, slowly unbuttoning. Jenna paused before doing the same with him. The time for a step forward had come, and it was time for her to decide if it was right for her or not.

She couldn't have wished for a better lovemate. Kincaid undressed her carefully, with no haste, and helped her when she fumbled a bit nervously with his clothes. They knelt on his bed, still kissing. He touched her face again.

She didn't want to make love. Not now. Not yet. Not after what had happened. All that she wanted was to be together with him, not sexually yet but more emotionally. Something her ex-husband hadn't understood.

She needn't have worried. Kincaid made no move to press her down on the bed or part her thighs for entry. Instead he took her arms and lay down slowly, taking her with him, so they both lay on their sides, facing each other. This surprised her. He moved forward smoothly to lie closer to her, his breath fanning warm over her cheek. Before she could overcome her surprise he was touching her again, his arms around her, touching his head to hers and stroking her side.

She hadn't expected this affection, this tenderness, this--patience. It was almost as if he could read her mind and see how much she wanted to be held, how ready she wasn't at that time. It took her a moment to realize that he knew probably because he'd been through much the same thing as she had. He knew the hurt. He'd had a much longer time to deal with, if not get over, what had happened to him than she had. He knew how long it could take to face that pain.

Yet he kissed and caressed her with such a passion that she knew he did desire her as much as she did him. She shivered to feel his lips brush against her shoulder, his leg touch and rub gently against hers. A few months ago she would never have imagined this, she being in love with the city police lieutenant in charge of cult crime investigations, he being in love with a psychiatrist attacked by one of her own patients. It had happened gradually, all right, but it had happened. And no matter how odd it seemed, when she thought over it, it seemed perfectly right in real life.

He trailed his fingers down the back of her neck. She shivered again; unable to keep still, she welcomed his patient exploring, pressing herself to him closely, her legs moving. He accepted her as well, lifting his leg and bringing it down to rest over her hip, moving slowly, his warmth gently pressing against hers. She gasped softly; he wasn't hard, but the feeling between them was hot, intensely hot. She reached down to run her hands over his buttocks, relishing the gesture; he complied with her unspoken request and moved against her again, pressing his hips closer, several times. If anyone had been watching them it would have looked like they were making love already, pushing gently into each other, their legs sinuously tangling and untangling, rubbing and caressing. With their hands they slowly and thoroughly explored the area where their bodies met, trailing fingers over soft mounds and curves, caressing gently through her valleys and around his heat.

They continued with their loveplay for quite some time, fondling, tasting, touching and exploring, until they knew every aspect, every feature of each other. Kincaid had even let her run her fingers along his scarred leg, and at one point as they sat up she bent to kiss it tenderly, letting him know that she accepted him as he did her. She felt that it was the least she could do to repay his patience and gentleness with her. When the room grew too dark to see anything they slowly allowed nature to take its course; eventually she lay down again and he joined her, holding her from behind, their hips still touching, their body warmth intermingling. She sighed. He nuzzled against her neck. With a weariness she hadn't felt in weeks, Jenna allowed her eyes to drift shut and sleep to take hold.

* * * * *

Light filtered over her face. Jenna blinked her eyes open and stretched, from her fingers down to her feet, before looking around to remember where she was. Kincaid slept beside her. He looked peaceful; she couldn't detect any signs of nightmares. It was good, that neither of them should have nightmares. She noticed the moonlight filtering through the window glinting off of a metal tag he wore around his neck, and reached out to hold it up and look at it, turning it this way and that before she could read it clearly. TAKING CLOZAPINE, it read in stark capital letters. MONITOR FOR AGRANULOCYTOSIS. On the back she read his name--ALAN KINCAID--and phone number. She let go of the tag; Kincaid shifted and turned onto his back, sighing and falling still. She edged closer to him and put her head down against his shoulder.

She'd thought that maybe it would be a bad idea to get involved with him at first. He seemed more balanced than she was, though, and he was on an antipsychotic. She decided that it was still because he'd had more time of his own.

It didn't have to matter what problems he might have, she thought. Just as long as he could handle himself, and her as well. So far he seemed to be doing all right. Better than she was. She hoped that she could lean on him a while longer while she gathered herself. She needed that support right now, and she believed that he could provide it. Could, and would.

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This item is not looking for critique. It was written solely for entertainment's sake. Although a scene from a possibly longer story, it is complete in itself and unless otherwise stated there is not going to be any more of it written. Additional unrelated SCENES may be written, but single scenes themselves are complete as they are. So please do not expect more. If you are interested in reading the series which INSPIRED the scene, just look elsewhere in my portfolio and you should find something. (Use the "story codes" given in the scene headers. For example, "MI" = "Manitou Island" series.)

I am not looking for critique on grammar, spelling, style, sentence structure, flow, or the mechanics of writing. What I AM interested in is commentary on such things as characterization, plot, symbolism, theme, etc.--the deeper aspects of the story. I like to know if a scene is believable, if the characters are interesting, what you thought of how they interacted, if the writing evoked any emotions, things such as that.

Feel free to criticize, but just keep in mind that I'm working on more important projects and shared this just for fun and/or to illustrate character interactions, so I don't plan to revise it any time soon. Comments on the characters, theme, etc. are more than welcome.