The Satanic Angel

Its been Myth for many, many years that Angels have wings. What if, for the sake of argument, that Angels don't have wings.

What then? Will they still be called Angels? Or will they be called something else? What are Angels? God's servants, messengers, warriors, or guardians?

There is no clear definition (unless of course Angels are in the dictionary).

What then? What if there is no classification of Angels, and an Angel is what you believe an Angel is? What if we have our own Angels, that is completely unique to who we are?

Let me share this with you.



I woke up one day. I felt different then any other day. I was lonely, confused. Who am I? What will I become? Two questions I'm still trying to answer.

I get comfort in my writing, but sometimes, I can't pull the thoughts down from my mind into my hands. It's not hard, it's just unexplainable.

I always say, everything is possible. Whether its likely or not, who can say?

I fell in love with Andrea, and she was Satanic. Being a Christian, it seems highly unlikely that two opposite spirtual principled people can love each other.

Being a Canadian, I am open to new ideas, new philosophies, new religions. Sure, I am a Christian, but a very open minded one.

My mom always told me "Watch out for people who will take you away from God."

Which God is she talking about? There are many religions, and I think that most are correct to a point. I began to question everything I was taught.

Its what they taught me. All I learnt was to be open minded. My friends, and coworkers never rubbed their beliefs on me, and I did not rub my beliefs on them.

We spoke from time to time about religions, and we wouldn't speak about the religion that we are, but other religions. I find comfort in it.

Is it wrong to look at other beliefs? To see what they are like? Of course not. But according to my mom, it is wrong.

This Andrea girl, I met, is really nice. She is five foot five inches, nice athletic body, some piercings, in the ears, and not anywhere else. She is kind, and caring.

She makes me feel alive. I yearn to talk with her, to be with her. Am I under some type of spell? Or is it love? All I could think about was her, all my thoughts revolved around her.

No girl has ever been this nice to me. I can tell her anything and not having to worry about it being spread around. I look at Christians, and I see a lot of weird...not a good word...strange. Ya, thats the word I'm searching for. Some are complete pains, and complain a lot.

Why complain about the weather? Didn't the magnificant God send the weather? Whether its sunny, or cloudy, rainy, or hailing, snowing, high winds, tornados, hurricanes. Doesn't the Holy Bible say "God sends the weather?" If so, why complain? I enjoy the weather whenever possible.

Sure, you may be looking forward for a nice, bright sunny day to go for a run. Why wait for that? If you want to go for a run, go for it.

Dress for the weather. Thats what my dad always said to me. "If its cloudy, pack a rain coat, if its sunny, pack a rain coat just in case. If its windy out there, wear a jacket and a hat. If its cold, bundle up." True words.

Although if its raining, I look at the bright side. I can stay inside, pop some popcorn, have a nice cold pop in front of me and watch a movie. Whats wrong with that?

Still, I feel lonely.

I take comfort into knowing, that Andrea is waiting for me. She has a candle lit in her room, by the window, hoping the light gets to me and guides me to her.

She loves me, I love her. We were ment for each other. We understand each other. Sure, I'm four years older, but hey, its love. Its not like I'm gonna do something that I will regret.

But I can't proclaim my love for her. Not while my girlfriend is clinging to me. She loves me, and respects me. But something is not right with her. She spoke down to me, said I was inferior, and I turned around and left.

I wanted to strike her, but my hand stayed. I would never hit a girl, no matter what she does or says to me.

I have nothing with her. Only pain and loneliness. As soon as I was out of sight of everyone, I punched two holes into a wall.

I yearn for the day where I can proclaim my love to Andrea, in holy matrimony.

The bond is there, the connection is there. She admitted her love to me, but she knows why I couldn't say it back.

"God please help me. Who should I go with?"

I can't feel his presence. I can't feel his direction. I have a strong urge to go for my Satanic girl. But what must I do?

Why can't I hear or feel God? Did he abandon me? Or is he just ignoring my cry for help? I need an answer.

I see Andrea as my Angel. She doesn't have wings, she's the opposite of an Angel, but just as nice as one.

If I need comforting, her lap is at my disposal. The same goes for her, if she needs comforting, my lap is there for her.

What is love? I have no idea. I'm scared of love, yet I yearn for it. I yearn for Andrea. To be here for me when I need her, and for me to be there for her.

Am I her angel? Am I her slave? No, not a slave. I see her as my equal, and she sees me as her equal. We come from different families, different ways of thinking, and yet...we are opposite of each other and yet we love each other.

My angel is Satanic. Are there Hell Angels? Or are Angels pure, holy, white? If thats what an Angel is, then I am her Angel.

Please God, give me direction. Do you want me to be with, a Satanic, or be with a christian? Why won't you answer me!

Here's my call. My Angel approaches. I feel her presence close. I always feel her. We are made for each other. She helps me whenever I need it.

My Angel, is not an Angel, but a Satanic. I love my Satanic girl. To me, she is purer then any Angel can be.