A Christmas Thank You

For Writer's Cramp, 12/26/03. The Prompt is: All of the gifts are opened, the wrapping paper lays on the floor...so, now give your sincerest thank you's for a gift you hate in poem or story form.


My darling husband,

How do I say thank you for my present this year? Words cannot express my feelings after opening the brand new, very expensive golf clubs you gifted me with.

I was especially moved because I thought I'd made it clear to you that we couldn't afford to buy you new golf clubs this year. So to find out that you went out and spared no expense buying me these new Calloway clubs has left me practically speechless.

For besides the fact that I do not golf, they appear to be men's golf clubs, so I am astounded that you would give me such a generous and expensive gift. Because were I to take up golf I imagine I would be better off using women's golf clubs...but that is just a guess on my part. You would know better than me, since you are such an avid golfer.

Anyway, please know, Sweetie, that your thoughtfulness was very touching. I really mean it. And I hope you won't mind - but I've returned the golf clubs to the store where you bought them, and the nice man there gave me a full cash refund for the clubs! Wasn't that wonderful of them?!?

And to show you my appreciation for your effort, I have taken the cash and used it to buy something that we can both enjoy - I purchased, in advance, 20 private dance lessons at the Sir Edmund Mallory Studio of Dance. (Remember how I said I've always wanted to learn ballroom dancing? Well, now is our chance!)

So don't make any golf dates for the next few months, because for the next 20 Saturday mornings, we'll be tripping the light fantastic with Sir Edmund!

Your loving wife