Meet me, I am Mister Augustus Fitch,
Who has a cat named Madam Eleanora Glitch,
I am telling you all this, but I am NOT a snitch -
She is a little pansy, she is a proper bitch.
Yesterday, she went out and fell into a ditch,
She survived just fine, without a single hitch;
She can wear crazy collars without the customary stitch,
And run all the way down a new baseball pitch -
And when she sheds hair, I get a nasty itch,
While she walks with a swagger, just like Richie Rich;
To all true purposes, she is the Perfect Witch-
And with me agrees my wife, Mrs. Desdemona Fitch.
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