Children Rule

“In the world today, the newly inaugurated president was having a temper tantrum,” a nine-year old reporter read. “She was given broccoli and told to make a decision on whether to make an alliance with France. The stress was a bit much, so it’s understandable. In other news, a chain of toy robberies have resulted in terrified children worldwide. Many are locking their most valuable toys in safes and having their parents stay up and guard them. And now we’ll have a look at the weather.”

A seven-year old boy stood in front of a blue screen while a six-year old gave him a thumbs up. “We’ll be having sunny weather for the next week with a 2% chance of rain. That could turn into hail or snow, though, so be prepared for everything. Back to you, Janey.”

Janey’s papers rustled. “A parent was sentenced to life in prison today. The mother of two allegedly ordered her son to pick up his room and he pressed charges. The jury did not treat the case lightly. This should be a lesson to all parents—cleaning is their job, as is cooking, doing laundry, and taking care of the children in general. Now for the daily reviews.”

Two children began to give their spiel on the new games and movies available. After a lengthy summary, the camera turned back to Janey. “That’s all for our news today. See ya later!”

The concluding music played and Janey ran out from behind the table. “Whew, that was hard!” she told her mother.

“You did a good job, Janey.”

“I’ve told you to call me Miss Janey,” she snapped. “Insubordination is a dangerous thing for a parent to commit.”

“Of course, Miss Janey,” the mother quickly corrected.

Her mother drove her home in silence and then her brother arrived home from work. He had rode his bike. “Tough day in the office,” he sighed, dropping a briefcase. “Almost didn’t get the Relner account, but I finally talked them into it. How was school, Mother?”

“I learned about square roots,” she said proudly.

“That’s nice, Mother. What’s for dinner?”

“We’re having grilled cheese sandwiches.”

“That sounds good,” her brother said.

“I want macaroni and cheese,” Janey complained.

“I’ll make you some,” her mother said quickly.

They sat down for dinner and then her father walked in. “You’re late!” Janey accused.

“The teacher made me stay after school,” he explained.

“What’d you do this time?” her brother asked between bites of grilled cheese.

“I only played a little prank on the teacher,” he shrugged. “I don’t think a rubber snake in the drawer is cause enough for detention.”

“Shame on you!” Janey said. “You’re grounded, Father. No going out all week, no TV, and no phone!”

“That’s not fair!” he objected.

“It is, too. That’ll teach you not to play pranks on the teacher.”

“Do I hafta?” he moaned.

“Yes. Isn’t that right, Phillip?”

“Of course,” her brother reiterated. “And speak nicely to your daughter.”

“Sorry, Miss Janey.”

“That’s better, Father.”

They munched in silence for a few minutes before Phillip said, “I’m having a friend over for a business weekend. You’ll have to make something special for lunch, Mother.”

“What would you like, Phillip?”

“Lasagna. You’ll have to take the day off from school, but I’ll write you a note, so it’ll be excused.”

“Anyway,” Janey added, “I know Michelle and she won’t mind her being excused for a business luncheon.”

“The teachers are lenient,” he agreed.

“Did you hear? Marcy’s eighteenth birthday is coming up,” Janey said.

“Poor Marcy! She’ll have to get married and be an adult!”

“Yes, poor Marcy. She’ll even have to go to school.”

“So sad. Kids grow up so fast nowadays…”