she's dating saul now; they made it official monday-- he's a half japanese martial artist and she's a cute hippy girl who might be the daughter of the good witch from Wizard of Oz. normally i would've avoided her completely b/c she's very pretty and what would she want from a homeless lookin guy like me. but the moon was full, brilliantly shining through an open window, and if you looked at it long enough like i did, you could see traces of red on the edge of its aura. and somehow i could feel what she was thinking, and her thoughts were hands going all over my body. jones uses a wierd-looking comb to fix his hair with-- it's jagged, black, and irregular. I thought it looked pretty so i brought it to her. "you always make me smile," she said. i sat on the bed smoking cigarettes as she lay pretending to sleep, but i could feel her foggy blue eyes penetrating me as i sat humming. the music was taking me to amazing places; i hummed as sweetly as i could: NO WOMAN NO CRY i heard her giggle. it was precious and i told her so. she giggled again and i said it was precious and this continued for a while. the tv screen turned the room a soft blue, and i lit a cigarette so the orange tip would match the rest of the room. she said she liked me and it was the first time she liked anyone since her ex-boyfriend. she thought my beer belly was cute. i made her tap my heart to the beat of the music and her touch warmed my body. that moment i realized why my girlfriend is nervous about leaving me alone. her face lay 2 inches in front of mine, pale and delicate like a tree that'd been struck by lightning. she looked anemic and i told her i could feel her pain, that i was hurting too and that i am perfectly incapable of hurting anybody. she opened her eyes and kissed me-- she kissed me so hard i felt like i was drowning. i'd never been kissed that hard in my life, so i kissed back as hard as i could. the energy radiating from our bodies was so violently HOT that when we touched fingertips i may've seen a spark. i had my hand up her shirt when saul walked in. he left. and we heard him cussing loudly and throwing shit in the next room but we lay there smiling at each other like long lost friends, on saul's luminescent bed. we whispered about the mysteries of love and she told me she liked me again; we kissed and closed our eyes. and the drug was set so that her body became part of my body and the pulse of the universe palpitated from my toes to my fingers. that was the most peaceful place i've ever been-- if i could go back i'd never leave. we lay as one, pretending to sleep. even in the morning her eyes glistened like a rainy spider web, but i knew her road was only just beginning and mine was coming to an end. so i chose to watch the sunrise alone. sometimes i think about what could've been, and i take a drag of my cigarette, and wonder about the next place. |