The Life

CHAPTER 1

In life, we all want our dreams to come true. I was no different. I wanted the same thing every other sixteen-year-old girl did, the guy of my dreams...Jon. He's a senior football player at my school.

One weekend, both of his parents went out of town. So, he decided to take advantage of the opportunity and throw a huge party. After all the arrangements were finally made, he ended up inviting everyone he knew, which included me.

When I arrived at the party, Jon came up to meet me. He said, "I'm glad you made it." Seeming very interested in me, he asked, "Would you be my date tonight?" Being totally shocked, I happily said,"Yes, of course." After that, we made our way to the kitchen, where he gave me a beer. I had never tasted one before and I didn't really want to, I was embarrassed. As he kept insisting that I take it, I finally did. That's where the trouble began.

About three sips later, I began to feel dizzy. Jon looked over at me and started to laugh. He asked, "Why are you buzzing so soon?" I looked back at him and asked, "Can we sit down for a moment?" He looked at me and said, "No, you need to lay down. You don't look so good." At that moment, I wanted to call my parents and tell them to come and get me, but at the same time, I wanted to stay. I was in a bad situation. I really liked him and I could see he liked me too. So, I just decided to stay. He took me up stairs to his parent’s room and told me to lie on the bed until I felt better. After I lied down, he left the room. I felt terrible. I just knew at that moment I had ruined any chance between us. I felt like a loser and wanted to cry, but I closed my eyes instead and tried to forget about the throbbing in my head. Before I knew it, I was in a deep sleep.

When I woke up, I noticed that I was naked. I was also under the covers and Jon was lying next to me. He was naked too. I quickly jumped up and started screaming, "What the hell is going on here?" He woke up and looked surprised. I yelled, "What happened and where are my clothes? What did you do to me?" His only reply was, "Just calm down and relax." Being so angry and disappointed with Jon, I just found my clothes and ran out the door.

As I got into my car, I tried to figure out what happened. I couldn't remember anything. Could we've possibly had sex? I knew I wasn't feeling well, but I surely would've remembered that. I couldn't help but think that I'd been raped. I was scared.

When I got home, I wiped the tears from my eyes and went inside. It was early in the morning and my father was getting ready to leave for work. I really wanted to tell him what happened but I decided not to. When he saw me, he wanted to know why I was home so early, because I'd told him yesterday that I was going to stay with my best friend Becky all night. I said, "We had a fight, so I just decided to come home. As you can tell, I've been crying." He said, "Yes, I can tell you’re a little upset. Why don't you go lie down and forget about it? I'm sure you two can patch things up later." Then we hugged and I said, "Thanks for understanding." He said, "Anytime."

After he left, I decided that I wanted to take a shower before I lied down. I felt dirty and abused. As I went to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and then slowly took off my clothes. I stood in front of the mirror and noticed some bruising. I felt confused. I knew then I needed to tell someone, but who? I definitely didn't want to tell my parents. I was afraid they wouldn't understand. As I washed myself, I felt sore and just knew my worst nightmare had come true. After my shower, I decided I would tell Becky.

As I dried off, I walked to my room. Then I picked up the phone and called Becky. Her mother answered and told me she was still sleeping. I asked her if she could wake her up because I really needed to talk with her. After she finally agreed, she went to get her. When Becky came to the phone, she wanted to know if there was anything wrong. I told her yes, there was. She said, "What happened and where are you?" I said, "I'm at home. Something happened last night. I think I was raped." She said, "Whoa, what did you just say? Are you okay?" I said, "No, well, I don't know." She said, "You don't know? What do you mean, you don't know? I'm coming over there." I said, "No, please don't come. Just listen." She said, "Fine, I won't, just tell me what happened." I said, "Did you ever get out of the house last night, are you still grounded." She said, "My parents never went anywhere last night, I couldn't get out of the house. Never mind me, what happened?" I said, "Well I arrived at the party last night and met Jon. He gave me a beer and the next thing I knew, I was naked. I know we had sex. I just can't remember any of it. I'm not sure about what happened and I'm not sure about what to do. I'm just scared and I needed someone to talk to." She said, "I'm here for you." As we continued to talk about it, I made her promise not to tell anyone.

CHAPTER 2

When I arrived at school the next week, I saw Jon sitting over by his car talking with his football buddies. When I got out of my car, he looked up and noticed me. He signaled his friends and then ran over to meet me. When he got close to me, I angrily snapped, "Leave me alone Jon." He said, "What happened the other night?" As he waited for an anwser, I turned around and walked the opposite direction. Then he continued to follow me, so I hatefully replied, "Jon, you raped me!" Seeming worried, he said, "What, are you serious? I didn't rape you!" After he said that, I stopped and turned around to face him. I screamed, "If you didn't rape me, then where the hell did these bruises come from? I think you're full of shit! Don't ever bother me again and stay out of my life!" He just stood there in shock as I walked off.

After that incident, he didn't bother me again, but there was still a part of him that stayed with me. It was something that I couldn't tell to go away so easily and it was a constant reminder of him. I missed my period the next month and discovered I was pregnant. It seemed as if life would never let me forget what happened that night.

To this day, I still don't know why I didn't tell anyone about being pregnant, not even Becky. I was scared and I definitely didn't want it to turn out this way. I didn't deserve this, and it wasn't my fault it happened. I finally decided it would be best if I just kept it a secret and have an abortion. I had plenty of money saved and if I ran away, no one would have to know. So, that's what I did.

I waited until a Saturday night. My parents always went out on that day. As I packed my things, I left a note behind. In my note, it said, "I have been experiencing some bad luck in my life here lately and I plan on turning it around. Please don't try to find me, because I won't be gone that long. I promise I will be back and I'm sorry to hurt you this way. Please don't worry, I will be fine and I love you." Then I got into my car and drove to the nearest city.

It had been nearly eight weeks since that awful night. I knew that I was doing a bad thing, but deep down inside, I felt like I didn't have a choice. After several more weeks of recommended counseling, I made the final decision and went through the procedure on my eleventh week. Since my pregnancy was in the first trimester, I underwent a surgical abortion. After it was done, the doctor explained the physical recovery that would take place over the next few days. Then later, I was able to leave the clinic. As I left, I felt one heavy burden lift off of my heart and another one take its place. Nothing will ever compare to that feeling.

On the way to my car, I noticed some people carrying signs protesting outside the clinic. One of the signs said, "You may have a choice, but your baby doesn't. Does that seem fair?" After reading it, I quickly got into my car and began to cry. I felt ashamed. I couldn't understand why I had been put into this position. I just knew that I would be punished for what I did and that it would last a lifetime. It seemed as if I would never escape this never ending Hell.

After I sit there for a while, I finally decided to crank my car. At that very moment I felt someone grab my forehead and hold it back. Then, a cloth was put over my nose and mouth. It smelled very strong and weakened my body. Every breath I took was getting slower and slower until I finally passed out.

When I awoke, it took awhile before my vision cleared. I knew I wasn't in my car anymore but I couldn't understand why. As my eyes began to focus, it looked as if I was in a basement with no windows. I couldn't scream because I was gagged. I was very frightened and scared for my life. I thought I was going to die.

CHAPTER 3

After some more time passed, I heard someone come down the stairs. Scared to death, I closed my eyes and turned my head away in fear. I could tell it was a man when he gently said, "Child, open your eyes and face me. Don't be afraid, I'm the one who will show you right from wrong." A chill went down my spine as I opened my eyes and looked at him. When he saw the expression on my face, he said, "As you can see, I do not resemble a monster. I am an ordinary man. You can call me Savior. I am very anxious to hear what you have to say, but if I let you talk, you have to promise me you won't scream." I looked at him and nodded yes. Then, he removed the cloth from my mouth.

While he paced around me, I asked, "Are you going to kill me?" He replied, "No, I don't plan on it. You may consider me a bad person for doing this to you, but I feel it is necessary." I said, "Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to you?" He said, "The question shouldn't be, what did I do to you. It should be, what do people like me do to others." After he said that, I became confused.

Then he sat down in front of me and said, "Let me explain. You are a bad parent. People like you hurt others. Yes, I know, you think you're the victim. Let me ask you this question, who is breathing and who isn't?" After he said that, I started to cry, because I knew what he was talking about. I screamed out, "Are you one of those pro-life fanatics?" He seemed a little upset and turned around. He said, "I assume you are talking about people like Eric Robert Rudolph and Paul Hill, correct?" I replied, "Just to name a few." He got up in my face and said, "Don't be sarcastic!" Then he continued to say, "I can see why you might think that, but I don't consider myself the same. I'm not on a killing crusade here. I only want to change your mind. See, the difference between them and me is fairly large. They fear God, I don't. I fear people like you, bad parents! Do you understand now?" I looked at him and said shamefully, "Yes, you're right, please let me go. I shouldn't have done what I did. Please, I'm sorry." His only reply was, "I wish it was that simple."

As I sit there tied to a chair, he walked over and looked through some of my things that were lying on a table across the room. He picked up my purse and then walked back over to me. He said, "I'm going to give you a little friendly advice. Always lock your car doors. You never know who could be hiding in your back seat." I just kept my head down and pretended I was listening. Then he said, "Hold your head up when people are talking to you, don't be ashamed of who you are. I've always said, bad parents make bad parents. Maybe I should include them in this conversation as well." I became angry and looked up at him and said, "Don't even think about it you sick fuck! Leave them alone." He smiled and said, "There, that’s better, I got your attention. But mind your manners and your tongue, or I will cut it off." Then, he ordered me to calm down.

As he stood over me and went through my purse, he pulled out my diary. He said, "Here's some more advice, don't carry personal possessions with you. You'd hate to have some one read your most precious secrets." I replied, "Go ahead, secrets is what got me into this mess. I'm tired of keeping secrets." Happily, he replied, "That's good. I'm glad to hear that, but I've already seen your dirty secrets. You decided to carry them with you when you ran away and it's turned out to be too much baggage, hasn't it? Your right, they've definitely got you into a mess, but I'm going to help you rid yourself of those dirty secrets, or should I say lies." Then he threw the diary at me and started yelling at me. He screamed, "Are you a whore? Do you like getting abused? Why did you keep it a secret? Were you hoping it would go away? Did it? Where are you now? See where lies get you, no where!" All I could do was just sit there and cry. Obviously, he seemed discouraged, so he slapped me in the face. "See how whores get treated! Do you like that? Don't cry, girls always cry! It doesn't help, because you're just wasting energy! You get abused and then you cry. It seems to me you would want to focus that energy on revenge. Do you want revenge? You said in your diary, you didn't deserve this. What do you plan on doing about it?" I just continued to cry and looked up at him and said, "Please stop, I can't take anymore." He said, "What, the truth? Yes, the truth is always the hardest to accept, but I don't plan on giving up on you yet. I see the truth in you, and it's begging to come out. So, let it." After that he went back up stairs and left me alone.

After some more time passed, he came back down the stairs. By that time, I had stopped crying. He said, "I'm glad to see you've gathered your dignity back. I want us to start over. I came back down to properly introduce myself to you. It's the least I can do, since I already know everything about you. To get to the point, bad parents are a disease that plagues the world and it needs to be eradicated. I was cursed with bad parents. My drunken father raped my homeless mother. She didn't ask for the abuse, but it was still given. What did she do about it? She took it out on me just like you did on your child. Of course, my mother didn't have the resources for an abortion so she was forced to have me. So, if the story isn't tragic enough, she dumped me in the trash can down the alley after I was born and forgot about me. Luckily, someone saw her do it and then rescued me and took me to a hospital. While growing up, I was always curious of who my parents were. Thinking it would be impossible to find them, I discovered there were witnesses that remembered what happened that day. That's how I found out the truth and it hurt, but I got over it. I searched for my mother and found her. After that, we both located my father and it turned out to be a wonderful family reunion."

Curiously, I asked him, "What happened next?" Bluntly, he said, "I cut off his penis and fed it to him in front of her, then I slit his throat." In shock, I vomited on myself. He said, "Well, it's true. I'm sorry you find it hard to take. Would you have handle it any different?" As he wiped the vomit off of me, I said, "Yes, how could you of done that to your own father?" He said, "For one good reason, HE HAD IT COMING! So, did she." I said, "Not your mother too." He said, "It's not what you think. I punished them the way they did me. I considered it an eye for an eye." I asked, "So what happen to your mother?" He said, "My mother abandoned me, so I in turn abandoned her. Most bad parents abandon their children to die in garbage cans or in vehicles in the hot sun to suffocate. I let her suffocate, in Death Valley."

After hearing his story, I became even more frightened and felt like I was going to die very soon. He walked away from me and said out loud, "So, how long do you think you've been here?" I said, "Maybe a day or two." He said, "Think again. You've been here nearly a week. I've kept you unconscious so that I can learn more about you before we talked. I wanted to be ready." I replied, "Ready for what? You're going to kill me!" He said, "Now, now, I've already told you that I wasn't going to kill you. Don't let my disturbing stories keep you worried. I wanted to be ready, because I plan on changing your life. I want you to be strong and courageous, not weak and powerless. I want you to think about what happened and what you could have done to prevent it. While you're thinking about it, I want someone else to join this conversation." I looked at him and said, "No, please not Becky!" He looked back at me and said, "Why would I do anything to sweet Becky. She has nothing to do with this. I'm thinking of someone else." I trembled in fear as he walked over to the side of the room behind me. I heard him say, "You know, I believe both parents caused the death of this child. Don't you agree? Don't you think he should be aware of what happened, since you kept it from him? I think you two should talk. I'll come back later when you're through. I'll be upstairs."

CHAPTER 4

After he left, I didn't know if what I was thinking was true or not. Could Jon possibly be behind me? If I'd been here a week, that would of given him time to kidnap Jon too. Not knowing if I should or not, I called out to Jon. There was no answer. So I called out again and again and again. There was still no answer. I begin to think Savior was telling me a lie until I actually heard someone wake up and say something. I could tell it was Jon when I heard him say, "Hello, is anyone there? I can't see anything." I called to him and said, "Jon, we've been kidnapped. I can't see you because you’re behind me and I'm tied to a chair." He said, "Why were we kidnapped? What did we do?" I said, "You got me pregnant and I had an abortion. He is punishing us for that. He's one of those pro-life extremist people." He said, "This is totally unfair! How do you know it was me that got you pregnant? You could of slept with anyone." I cursed him and screamed, "You’re the only one I've had sex with. You raped me and you've been telling lies ever since!"

Right after I said that, Savior came back down the stairs and said, "Yes Jon, lies, lies, lies." Jon yelled back at him, "Let me go you freak, you murderer. How many abortion clinics have you bombed? Or how many doctors have you shot? You're an evil man!" Savior finished coming down the stairs and turned my chair around so that I could see. Jon was tied to the wall with all his limbs out stretched. Savior said, "Now Jon, is that anyway to make friends? You shouldn't call people names. That's not very nice and not very wise." After he said that, he stabbed Jon in both of his legs. Jon screamed in pain as Savior got in his face and said, "So you think I'm evil because I want to give children a chance to live? I'm not evil Jon, but I know who is. It's you. That baby she had slaughtered didn't deserve what happened. The baby didn't rape her, you did! Why must children always be the victims?"

Then Savior walked over to me and said, "He thinks I'm evil. Do you?" I said, "Describe evil." Savior replied, "I'm glad you asked. I could tell you some stories about evil. First, in 2001, Oklahoma City abortionist John Baxter Hamilton strangled his wife, beat her over the head with a heavy blunt object hard enough to smash a hole in her skull, and then slammed her face repeatedly onto the marble floor of the master bathroom in their home. Second, in 1995, pro-abortionist Lavern Ward killed Debra Evans, 28, and her daughter, Samantha, 10, then hacked the unborn child out of Debra Evan's body. He then abducted her son, Joshua, 7, and later stabbed him to death. Third, in 1997, 38-year old Kevin Robinson murdered 15-year-old Daphne Sulk because he had gotten her pregnant, and she refused to get an abortion to cover up his child molestation. Fourth, in 2002, Matthew John Wiedeman and his friend Raymond Anthony Soto murdered 16-year old Stephanie Nicole Burnett by stabbing her repeatedly and beating her to death with a heavy steel barbell because Wiedeman believed she was pregnant and she refused to have an abortion. Must I go on? Abortionists and other pro-abortionists are cowards. They only attack and kill those weaker than themselves. The most pitiful deaths of all are the murders of pregnant mothers. Pro-abortionists have raped, tortured, beaten, strangled, poisoned, stabbed, burned, murdered, and even buried pregnant women alive, many of them in their last trimester. It boggles the mind and arouses both intense pity and profound anger when one imagines some laughing pro-abortion male gleefully torturing and then murdering a poor woman who is heavily pregnant and who cannot defend herself. It staggers the imagination to realize that no pro-abortion group has ever denounced this kind of sickening violence. Well I am, and it starts with people like you."

Savior walked over to Jon and asked, "How old are you Jon, eighteen? You're not a child anymore, are you?" After he said that, he took Jon's blindfold off. Savior said, "See that girl over there, she is only sixteen. You broke the law. You raped her and now I think you must pay for that crime." I screamed out, "No, please!" Then he stabbed Jon in both of his shoulders. Jon just screamed in torture as Savior said, "That young girl over there still feels for you Jon, but I wonder if she would finish the job if she found out the truth about your little party. I think it is time for you to come clean and tell her the truth." Jon said, "I have told the truth. I didn't rape her." Savior got very mad and said, "Jon, I must confess to you, if you do not tell the truth very soon, it will get very painful." After he said that, he took Jon's pants off and held a knife to his privates. Savior said, "Tell the truth Jon, and tell it soon." Jon became very nervous and said, "You won't do it, and you can't. I'm telling you the truth." Savior applied more pressure to the knife and said, "This isn't the first time I’ve done this. I'm giving you one more chance to come clean, but if you still insist on telling lies, you will feel my wrath." As soon as I thought it would happen, Jon spoke up. He said, "Okay, okay! You win I did it. I put something in her drink and raped her. I'm...I'm sorry." Savior said, "Very good Jon, but I bet she's not the first, is she?" Jon said, "No...no she's not. Please don't hurt me anymore." After hearing what he said, I cried out, "Jon, you bastard! Why...?" Savior got a smile on his face and then came over and asked me, "What do you think we should do with him." I said, "Let's call the police and turn him in." Savior said, "Nope, I have a better idea." Then he walked over to Jon and cut off his genitals. Jon yelled in agony, "You sick fuck!" Savior said, "Same rule applies to you too." Then I screamed in horror as I saw Savior pull Jon's tongue out and cut it off too. Jon was being crucified in front of my eyes and it was the worse thing that I had ever seen.

Savior looked over at me and said, "See what happens when you have an abortion, they lose parts. If you can't see it, then you don't care. Do you care about poor Jon bleeding to death since you can see the pain? Does it hurt you? Did it hurt when they sucked out your fetus and placenta? Did the doctors tell you that your baby can feel pain after seven weeks, just like Jon is feeling right now? Does that bother you at all?" I looked up at him and said, "How could you do that? I don't understand how you can do this." Savior said, "How could you do what you did? I will make you understand." He came over and cut the ropes that bound me to the chair and told me to get up. Then he handed me the knife and told me to cut Jon's throat. I said, "Please, don't make me do this. I don't want to." He said, "It's not a choice. This was my plan. You kill him and you go free. Look at him. He is in agony and he is bleeding to death. Put him out of his misery." I begged and pleaded with him, "I can't do it. I can't kill a human being." At that moment, he took the knife out of my hand and threw me down to the ground. He said, "What did you just say? You can't kill a human being? What do you think was in your belly when it was slaughtered? You are able to kill and I am ordering you to kill again. This is your punishment." He gave the knife back to me and then made me get back up. We both walked over to Jon and he put my hand that held the knife to his throat. As I looked into Jon's eyes, I could see him dying already. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him even though he raped me. Some feeling deep inside also felt as if he got what he deserved. Any way I looked at it, I was about to kill the boy I once loved.

While I was resisting Savior's intentions, he said, "I've only killed two people before, my mother and father. Don't make me kill four." As I saw Jon nodding for me to finish it, Savior got into my face and screamed at me, "You must be strong and courageous. Now do it, Kill him! Kill him now!" As I heard those words, the anger started to flow through my veins. Then I felt a burst of adrenaline as I swung the knife around and sliced Savior's cheek. The next thing I realized was that I was on top of him stabbing him repeatedly until he was dead. After I saw him take his last breath, I rolled off of him and laid on the blood-covered floor. Then I looked up at Jon and saw that he was unconscious. When I got back up, I checked his pulse. He was dead too. I just stood there and stared at the death that surrounded me. Then I went over and gathered my things and made my way up the stairs. It was over.

When I opened the door to his house, I went inside. Being curious, I walked through to see if I could find out more about this man that kidnapped me. I was surprised when I came to a room, which was a nursery for a newborn. Dust covered the furniture and everything else was in plastic. I looked over at the wall, and there was note hanging there. It said, "To my dear baby boy. I'm sorry we never got to meet. Your mother gave her life to try and bring you in this world, but it wasn't meant to be. No one ever knows how precious or fragile life is until it is taken away. I wished things could've been different. I will always love you and carry you in my memory. Love, Dad." After seeing that room, I felt as if I had found what I was looking for. I didn't feel the need to look any longer. It was time to leave. As I was walking towards the door, I saw my car keys lying on the coffee table. I picked them up and went out in the garage where I saw my car parked. I got in it and went home.

Over the next few days, all my secrets were told. I didn't hold anything from my parents anymore. I let them know I loved them and that I was sorry. We notified the police and everything is fine now. It is all in the past, except for one thing. I made a vow after it was all done that I would carry on the memory of my child for the rest of my life. I swore to never forget. Now, a month later, I do my part at the clinic, I protest. My sign says, "Don't remember me. Remember the life you take!"

THE END