Here and Back (Chapter 3)

Chapter 3


It took a long time before Garin looked up at the other, his eyes reddened and not so wide, but narrowed with intent and masked thought. He took the last bit of flavored now-cooled choclate in his mouth and swallowed hard. The doughnuts were left untouched. Dax looked hard and thoughtfully at the other opposite him before moving. The other was left trying to gauge him and what his thoughts might be under this new mask.
Dax reached slowly with his hand and began to take the napkins that were under his doughnuts and wraped them up, looking as if it were habit from thought. Aurin waited for him to finsih before he spoke.
"What is going on is strange and what you are feeling is understandable. I know how alone you feel. You-" he paused when he noticed the boy was up and moving.
Dax pushed himself out of the seat with alarming speed, his rollerblades wheeling him out and around to the door quickly and before Aurin was even out of his seat, the other had emerged from the exit and was speeding away from the small doughnut shop. Aurin reached into his pocket and threw down money, not even checking to see if it was right before he ran from the establishment. Everyone looked up and a couple officers gave suspicious looks, but returned to their drinks and food. Business returned to usual and the waitress went over and smiled as she figured her tip from the money the older man had left her.
Garin on the other hand was just a blur as he moved with purpose down the pavement, switching regularily between sidewalk and road so he could be at his maximum speed. He knew this street and the ones connected like the back of his hand. His face was slack, but his eyes burned with intensity as he left the past and was searching the present for answers. The boy's entire body moved in perfect fluid motion, as if he was born on rollerblades and hasn't stopped moving since. Everything was on autopilot, his mind was running in an entirely different direction. Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. He was moving, and thus now committed.
He would arrive soon. Images and flashes came in bits and pieces, each a bomb threatening to blow his skull wide. Attempts were made to harness them, but they were wild. Only one thing kept him sane. The thought of possibility and logic to it all.
Now.
He was close, he could taste it.
The intersection pulled into view, and was empty. Devoid of everything he expected to be there save the usual items: the signs, the trees, sidewalk, and houses bordering it all. He slid to a stop. Nothing.
His body almost imploded on itself. No. It can't be, he was here mere minutes ago. It was empty. Nothing unusual here, yet completley unusual.
There should have been ambulances and a crowd of people watching, refusing to do anything but watch and commentate. The victim and the purpetrators. Garin slowly rolled to the center of the intersection and found what he expected and didn't expect at all. Nothing. No blood stains, no broken glass or fragments of plastic or anything. There was no signs of an accident.
It was then that Aurin found him. He came up behind Garin, breathless. Garin's mouth was working and his mind reeling. He kept whispering his denial and what he expected to find. Aurin Lodissar stood with him and said nothing. Soon, his breath was expended completely and the intersection was silent. Time meant nothing to him, and when he felt he was at peace enough to leave, he turned slowly and began to move back the way he had come. Aurin trailed behind.
Garin turned his head when the place was out of sight thinking he could hear the sounds of a crowd, but it died slowly into whispers. He removed the doughnuts from his pocket and began to chew on them in thought.
Aurin lead them to a cheap motel a lot further than the coffee shop. Garin remarked that he knew he wouldn't be able to return home to sleep, so he asked if there was somewhere else they could go. Aurin nodded and lead him there. The Royal Inn. The administration building at the fore and a little to the east of the sleeping quarters it let out. A large sign spread across it's roof, the golden letters of its name lit up the sidewalk, the sign advertising cable TV in broken letters and cheap rooms. Dark closing about now, shadows creeping on light's territory. They held more now than the title of night to Garin Dax. Shadows looked of death, and he wanted to be in as bright a place as he could.
The man rented a double room, the single key tittering rather loudly on the chain while they walked to their room in the rear of the lot. Cars littered the parkinglot haphazardly, as if no care was placed in where they were parked. They passed each of the rooms in turn. All had their curtains drawn, save one and Garin peered in. A woman was laying across a bed watching cartoons and eating a pizza. Her small frame looked like it was in threat of being engulfed by the large bed. The lady was quite content though.
Three rooms away from their own, a room looked like the others, curtain drawn and all. What made it noticable were the sounds of a couple in their sexual splendor racketing through the thin door and open side window. Normally, Garin would have laughed, but this occasion was different.
In time, their own room was reached, the sounds of activity from the previously rented room gone. There were two beds as promised, but smallish and against the rear wall. Their beddings old and worn. A TV was on the wall beside the door, bolted down in more ways than one. Two chairs sat under a square table that had on of its legs broken and replaced unprofessionally. Even the red wallpaper was peeling and falling apart. Garin stood in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do. Aurin strode past him and turned on the TV, waiting for Garin to decide what to do. The boy muttered he needed to use the bathroom briefly, Aurin did not object, although he was curious if he would try and run again but decided against speaking of it.
Garin closed the door behind him and locked it. The cheap room had two lights, though only one was working and it barely lit enough of the room to see. He leaned on the counter and even though he heard cracking and groaning suggesting that it would give, he remained and looked at himself in the mirror.
Nothing changed, at least physically. His face was the same as it was before, his features were constant. Even if it weren't noticable on the surface, he knew there was a change. He lifted his hands and looked at them. They were also the same as they were before and they shook slightly with the thoughts.
If he was truly dead, then why could he see himself like this? How could he intereact with objects and speak with people? Why was he here? What was going on?
He shook his head, freeing the thoughts from his mind and decided to have a shower. Clothes fell to the floor and he stepped slowly into the yellowing tub. He turned the water on and let it jet across his face and naked body, as if doing so he might remove the events that happened. As if he might cleanse himself and return to what it was before all this happened. The cold water stung slightly from both temperature and pressure, but he insisted on pressing it onto himself. Heat began to seep into both the water and his body, brushing aside his doubts and reservations. His thoughts and fears rose with the steam and dissapated with it as well.
He exited the bathroom calm and collected, no longer afraid. Aurin looked up and motioned for him to sit. He sat up on the bed and faced Garin solemn and determined. Garin pulled out one of the chairs and sat down slowly. The TV was turned off and the remote tossed onto the other bed while Aurin tried to gather his thoughts now. His coat was laying beside him, wrinkled almost like the rest of him now.
"You have questions, and I'm not sure if I should give you all the answers yet," he stated.
"Then answer what you can, or believe you can. I have trusted you this far, why not a little more?"
"True enough. I will start with what we have established. Yes, as tough as it may seem, that was you on the street. Not just a person looking like you, you. Something happened that you can't quite explain and you are dealing with it, so I will help you through this. Now, ask your questions."
"Okay. . ."
"No, go ahead, ask what you will."
"If I am dead, then why am I here? Like here here."
"Well, there is the point of transition. You need to make it there, but first you must accept what is happening here."
"Accept? How?"
"I cannot say."
"Why?"
Aurin shrugged and Garin decided to try a new line of questioning. He needed answers and he had to try not to allow his emotions and confusion overwhelm him. Concentration was required.
"Transition; do you mean that I'm caught in some kinda limbo, like ghost limbo or purgatory or something?"
"Something, but not quite. This is not quite 'Limbo' as you call it, but it is a place in between your world and the next. 'Limbo' is a human concept for the in between that they don't quite understand. In reality there is no Limbo as you would know it."
"Two things now-"
"Go ahead." He nodded his assurance.
"One, you said human, so I can assume you aren't human and two, as I know it? What do you mean?"
"Sorry, I'm trying to explain so that you would understand, its hard. I forget what you do and do not know.
"No, you are right in assuming I'm not human. But there are differences between humans and I and similarites, too." Lodissar held up his hands palms out as if he couldn't explain, but his voice implied he could. "It will be explained better later. This is one thing I can't talk about."
"This is sorta corny, but are you an angel? To take me to Heaven or damn me to hell?"
At this Aurin laughed. "No, no. No angel and no damnation. Although my enemies would say otherwise." He winked playfully at Garin, who was oblivious to the meaning.
"So I am going to Heaven?"
"I can't talk to you about what goes on after the transition yet. Later, when you are better prepared."
"When I was hit, everything went black, but I became conscious while I was there. I saw some kind of light coming at me, but they were really little balls. Three of them: blue, red and yellow. They sorta talked to eachother while watching me, but I didn't know what was going on until I arrived here. I mean the accident."
"That. Ah, yes. That was your initial transition to this place so you could understand things before you moved on. The blackness was a lack of environment for you to move around in and engage with. You must have been confused when you were there." He nodded. "Those balls where what we like to call 'Lightsprites.' They search the black void for anyone caught there and usually wait until they make the connection to why that person was there in the first place. Sometimes they help if the person doesn't fully understand, but usually they sit back and watch. A game I take it. I don't understand them and I don't pretend to. Few do. But they help when it is needed, and that's what matters." The boy was nodding as well, but he lacked meaning behind it and was hoping that it would be explained further if not now then later.
"But from the speed of things, I take it you were a lot quicker than others to make that connection. Good job." A smile again, and again Garin lacked the understanding. "I knew you would. Always the quick thinker."
"The accident then, why did it disappear when I returned to it? There was absolutely nothing there when I got there. No evidence, no people, nothing. Why? Why did I see myself get hit? I've been through it once, why again?"
"I'll answer your second question." This sparked a little frustration and disapointment in Garin. He was hoping to get his first rejected question answered before he moved here and now his rephrasing was going to be answered either. He knew he would have to try again. "To watch a recreation of the accident is supposed to help you understand what happened to you more completely than just the memory so you can accept on facts and not just what you remember. Memories can be altered, even subconsciously to suit a person's wishes. It is shocking, but it is neccassary I'm afraid. I apologize. This wasn't supposed to happen."
"Stop apologizing. Why do you keep repeating them? And why do you keep saying that this wasn't supposed to happen? I need to know." He was frustrated anew. His emotions were gaining control instead of his clearheaded thinking. Aurin could see it as well.
He began to stretch himself out over the bed and lay back."I believe that is enough for tonight. Tomorrow is a new day for new activity. Early to bed early to rise, I believe the saying goes. Good man that Benjamin." His eyes closed and he was fast asleep.
Garin had too much on his mind to sleep. He laid on his bed and turned on the TV. The remote laying idle on the nightstand. Since he could find no good shows, he just watched the guide channel for a long time. How long he couldn't say as he fell asleep during his vigil and woke to Aurin with a hand on his shoulder.
"Time waits for no man," he whispered.
Garin pushed himself up and slid off the bed to stalk once more into the bathroom. Again he had a shower, but that was more to wake him than to relieve him of stress. He had no other clothes than the ones he wore, so he just shrugged on his dirty clothing and walked out only to discover a set of clothes neatly folded on the edge of his bed. A white shirt plus black shoes with a khaki pant and sock just sat there, waiting for him. He inquired into it, but Aurin simply shook his head and continued to eat some food he obviously had delivered. The hamburger was falling apart while being eaten and he was just as amused to eat it as he appeared hungry. A second place was set with a large Coke, fries and another hamburger. It was merely a minute when he changed and came back to eat the food.
He gobbled it down hurriedly and simply watched the other individual consume the last of his french fries. Aurin wasn't paying much attention to Garin until he was done. They were going to walk around today. It was never said where or why and it was never asked.
Outside the room, the sky was wide and expasive. The blue was hungry and wanted to swallow him in a smile. A bright orange and yellow globe hung in the sky shining its radiance across the land. This brought him some hope somehow. It gave him happiness. Even the birds that would normally have been annoying were sqwuaking enjoyably.
Since there was no car, the two just proceeded on foot. Aurin lead him left of the parkinglot which was now empty of all cars and devoid of any implication of life save the gulls around the dumpster.
The scene dramatically changed very quickly from a quiet street to his school with people swarming in and out. The school seemed different, and he didn't know why or what. Red brick and two stories, the same three-rectangle shape, and it was all different. The grass was green and the signs the same. Even the flag was different and the same.
Aurin turned and faced him when he reached the green grass of the yard. "I need you to go inside and get your books."
He nodded and walked towards the school with purpose. Determined just to retrieve his books and leave. When he reached the doors, Kevin and Emily both saw him and came up.
"Hey," they spoke in unison.
Garin just nodded.
They followed him and spoke to each other as if everything was normal. Occasionaly, they tried to engage him in conversation but he ignored them and they still followed.
There was almost no room to walk. Everyone seemed to have decided to talk and clog the path to anywhere. But he was determined to make it to his locker, get his books and leave. This smelled of test. He was going to get on with it no matter what. Maybe not as he would expect though. Dax had reached his locker and opened it as he normally would have when the two cornered him. Emily and Kevin began talking to him so hard and fast that he could not understand and he was giving up trying. All of a sudden, the gates broke and everything flowed out.
"Stop!" he yelled and they quieted abruptly when he turned. "Just shut up! Great. Chat. What? Now you decide to be quiet? C'mon! Yeah, rub it in.
"I'm dead, a ghost, whatever." He was looking up at the ceiling now. "Ooooh, big test spirit dudes. I mean, you can do better than me getting my damn books." "D" hall was hushed as well. All were looking at Garin. "I'm tired, so you think that you can hit me with this shit and make me feel better? Hell no! God! Take a fucking lesson in basic psycology, or gee, I dunno, watch people and interact with them. Maybe you'd understand that this shit, this in-your-face is bullshit and would hurt more than anything else.
"I'm tired of apologies. Yeah, only a day but that gets damn old real fast. Let me in on some of these secrets that Aurin or whoever the hell he is is keeping from me." This deranged boy looked at the quieted crowd. "If I'm just going crazy and that was a dream, lock me up. Come down here and look me in the eye, I need to get this done with. I'm sick of this Sixth Sense shit. If not than you can take this transition crap and shove it up your ass."
The challenge was left hanging, the crowds just staring. Garin held his breath. He was stressed beyond belief and when he was done and it took a moment to sink in what had truly happened. Shame crossed over him, but he pushed it aside. No one moved; no one dared to. This was insanity at its clearest. A person could hear a pin drop and a heart beat. A small voice urged him to bolt, to run until he passed out. Nothing happened. Both feet remained planted where they stood, rooted to the spot like a tree, waiting to be moved.
Aurin Lodissar stepped from the crowd and between Kevin and Emily. There was no way he could have appeared without someone moving out of his way or people being shifted in the very least, yet here he stood.
"Garin Dax," he began. His tone was flat and unwelcoming, but it wasn't harsh nor aggresive.
Garin simply nodded, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.
"You were correct, this was a test. You are ready for the transition."
Confusion stepped in once more for the boy. People began to disappear, one or two at first, then entire groups faded until the four of them remained. Kevin smiled and bowed slightly and Emily waved and they too were now gone. Faded into memory. Forever.
The locker closed behind them and Garin walked towards the closest exit, breathing in the fumes of the school for the last time before he left and it was over. This was all done. Feelings of loneliness and emptyness circled for a few moments before they were dispelled with the tainted air when the building was behind them.
In only moments, the grass began to fade from bright green to a dull grey and the school all but disappeared. A bright light reined down from the sky and Garin was forced to close his eyes while shielding his face from the intensity. For a final time, he glanced at Aurin Lodissar, his temporary mentor in the expierience and he was almost embracing the light. His smile was wide and his arms were clasped together in front of him. Something was trying to show itself if only for a moment then. It was gratefulness. The light became unbearable altogether and Garin was blinded alltogether before being thrust into blackness once more. Though this time, it was welcomed and no longer feared.