Omoide

“Today we’re going to catch the bus.”

Miki Kashio sat on the old window seat and stared outside. She could hardly see down her driveway the rain was so heavy. The water flowed down to the road like a river. A river of tears, Miki murmured to herself. Miki’s own tears had dried up and she couldn’t cry even though she wanted to. A pair of headlights appeared through the dark curtain of water and Miki felt her chest tighten, but the car drove on past her house. It was not time to go yet. Miki wrapped her arms around her legs and thought about the past couple of months.
“Miki come sit next to me!” Her best friend Liz used to call out to her. Both girls were 16 and went to the local highschool. Liz had been Miki’s best friend since 8th grade but was white like most people at school. That didn’t matter until Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. Then everything changed. Miki narrowed her eyes as she remembered. Everybody began to stare at her all the time. They would talk about her not just behind her back but when she could clearly hear them. Her locker would have nasty things written on it and Miki wouldn’t be able to erase it. But the worst part was Liz called her names and made Miki feel terrible just because she was of Japanese descent. One day Miki went to sit at her usual place beside Liz but her friend backed away from her.
“Get away from me you filthy Jap!” She yelled clutching her books.
“W-What?” Miki asked confused. Liz’s words slapped her across the face and it still stung thinking about it. After that Miki sat at a table by herself as she watched her old friends shun her and go on with their lives.
“Miki? Yume o yameru, ne?”
Miki shook her head to clear her mind and found herself back in her house watching the rain fall.
“Miki, daijoubu?” Miki’s mom put her hand on her daughter’s shoulder.
“Yes, I’m alright Mom.”
“Hmm...” Her mother said quietly. “Ready, okay?” She said in her broken English. Miki knew her mom was capable of learning English fluently, she just never bothered. Miki’s father knew English but he was in Japan now and far away from the anti-Japanese feelings brewing up in California.
“Shinpai ja nai.” Miki’s mother smiled as cheerfully as she could.
“I’m not worried.” Miki lied as her mom ran off to pack up what else she could fit into suitcases. Miki threw her legs off the window seat and climbed down slowly. She had already finished packing and did not want to go to her room again at the fear of crying some more.
Instead Miki walked to the middle of the living room and picked up a teddy bear that was lying face down on the floor.
“Mine.” A 2 year old girl said from the kitchen doorway.
“Hold onto it okay Jessi?” Miki said as she handed the bear to her sister. Her sister clutched it tightly and then ran to the front door.
“Somebody’s here! Get the door!” Jessi yelled waving her bear. Her short thick hair hugged her face as she jumped around excited. Miki stood stone still unwilling to answer the door. “Miki?!” Jessi yelled again. Their mom walked quickly to the door and waved Jessi away.
“Jessica, jama jama.” She said sternly. Jessi ran back to Miki and grabbed Miki’s skirt as she watched her mom open the door to two men in suits.
“Kanako Kashio?”
“Yes.”
“Ueda Kashio is your husband right?” Said one man looking at his files. “Where is he?” Kanako gave them a blank stare not knowing what they were talking about.
“He’s in Japan.” Miki said quietly. The men looked annoyed and tried to come into the house. Kanako stood in front of the door solidly.
“Yamete. Nakani hairanaide. Junbiwa subete tatonottemasu. Ja, yameru kudasai!”
“What did she say?!” The men yelled angrily.
“She said we already have everything ready so please don’t come inside.” Miki answered frightened.
“Fine.” The man spit at the entrance to their house. “Get into the car.” Miki grabbed Jessi and picked her up. Jessi held her bear and Kanako carried two large suitcases in her hands. They must have been heavy but for the entire journey to the busstop and after she never flinched.

“Today we’re going home.”

“Arigatou! Itearasshai!” Kanako yelled to the family that had been living with them. They were outside, getting ready to board a bus to leave.
“Itearasshai! Take care!” Jessi yelled too. Miki stared after them silently from the front of their tiny rickety house. Staring at the brown walls of the house she knew it was a big improvement from a couple years ago when they had spent the first part of their internment in a whitewashed horse stall.
“They probably painted right over the manure.” Miki had said. Jessi made a face and held her fingers to her nose. Kanako had calmly placed their baggage on the floor and looked around. It was completely empty save for two cots on the floor.
“Shitsurei shimasu.”
“Excuse us,” a couple called from the door. Miki looked up at them and watched as they had placed their suitcases on the floor.
“We’ve been assigned here too.” The woman said in English. She held a young baby in a makeshift carrier and smiled weakly.
“Two families...here?” Miki asked surprised. Jessi ran up to the baby but Kanako just stared at it.
“Kawaii.” She had said quietly.
“Yes...But we’ve only been able to feed him water since we came here.”
“Mizu.” said the man when he noticed Kanako’s blank look.
“Why?!” Exclaimed Miki.
“I can’t feed him myself,” exclaimed the woman embarassed “and the soldiers won’t give me formula.” She had put the baby’s carrier on the hard ground and watched as Jessi fussed over it.

Now Miki and her family had been at the camp for three years. They lived in a drafty rough house with the same family from three years ago. The woman had had to feed the baby water for 10 days before they gave her formula. Then the American soldiers had the nerve to call her a bad mother.
“Miki. The movies aren’t playing today.” complained Jessi running back into the house from outside.
“That’s because we’re going home.” Miki explained. Jessi looked confused.
“This is home.” She objected. Miki ignored her while Kanako began packing their things.
“Jessica, this is not home, understand?” Kanako said sternly.
“Hai...wakatta.” Jessi replied even though she didn’t. Miki picked up one suitcase and lugged it outside into the shining sun. Her camp community had tried to make this experience positive by adding activities and jobs so it felt like a normal life, but it was hard to ignore the fence. “Nobody’s outside.” Miki said to herself.
“Asoko.” Kanako pointed to the south. Many busses were lined up to take the 10,000 Japanese internees back to their old neighborhoods. Jessi ran past her family toward the busses still carrying her bear.
“Okaasan, mou watashitachino iewa naino?” Miki said straining to carry her bag.
“Mom, do we even have a house anymore?”
“Shirimasen.” Her mother said calmly.
“I don’t know.”
“Doushiyou?” Miki asked worried. She didn’t see how they could start all over again.
“What will we do?”
“Atarashii ie o kau. Atarashii shigoto o sagasu. Shinpai ja nai.” she smiled.
“Buy a new house. Get new jobs. Don’t worry.”
Miki couldn’t believe how strong her mother was but knew she was right, they had to start to live again and it could be done.
“Hurry up Miki!” Jessi ran back to them. “I want to go home.”
“I thought you said this was home.” Miki argued.
“Yea, but I’m ready to move.” Jessi said thoughtfully. Miki stepped onto the nearest bus.
“Me too.”