Daddy and the Rabbit

Daddy never learned to leave well enough alone!

Daddy was a country boy through and through, the embodiment of that old saw: you can take the boy out of the country but you cannot take the country out of the boy. Though we lived in the middle of town, we always seemed to have animals on the place. It was an amazement how many animals Daddy kept in town; however, we lived on a corner lot and Daddy was well known in our little Texas town. Oh, we did not have anything large: no horses, cows, or pigs. Daddy was happy with his two chickens, two ducks, and four rabbits: a buck and three does. You need two more pieces of information to make this story complete: Daddy can not build to save himself or others, and he was only 5’6”. Daddy was to learn a lesson that none of us would soon forget.

Mother warned Daddy on numerous occasions to leave the does alone when they had kits. However, Daddy always argued that his animals knew him and would never hurt him, besides what if something happened to one of the does or one of the kits became ill or injured. There the argument ended because there was no use arguing with "Old MacDonald" when it came to his "farm."

         One day Daddy decided to redesign the rabbit hutch in order to keep the neighborhood dogs and cats out. You would think that given his job as a telephone switchman he could build anything with great precision and stability. This was as far from the reality of the situation as Pluto is from the Sun. Daddy could not build. Oh, he could put nail to board and produce the semblance of a building but the unoccupied tree-house he built for the boys stood as the living testimony to his inability as a carpenter. Such was the case in the basic flawed design for the new hutch. Daddy decided that it need to be at least three feet from the ground (actually, that was a good idea) and it needed to open from the top (sounds reasonable). Unfortunately, when he built the hutch he not only connected the three hutches together but he made the top of the hatch one continuous roof consisting of two by fours and three quarter inch plywood. There it stood the very definition of lopsided eyesore.

Time passed, as it is want to do, and the Leaning Bunny Condo miraculously still stood, much to the amazement of kith and kin. Not only was Daddy proud of his architectural wonder but all three of his does gave birth to a fine litter of kits. Every day, after the birthing, Daddy would go out to the hutch and check on doe and kits; putting down his step stool, lifting the lid, handling the kits, petting the does, and congratulating them on their fine offspring. He had, in that trio of rabbits, a doe that did not like Daddy’s ministrations. These were her kits and she did not like The Man messing with her babies. Mother warned Daddy on several occasions to leave that particular doe alone, but oh no, he was a country boy and he knew animals. That doe would never hurt him because she understood that he was not going to hurt her or the kits. He was to find out differently

It rains often on the coastal plains and no one is surprised when a rainy day turns into a rainy week. After one such downpour, Daddy went out to check on his livestock. He saved the rabbits for last because it took more effort to check on them given the design of the hutch. Daddy placed his stool in front of the first division and check on Hyacinth, she and her babies were fine. He let down the roof, picked up his stool and moved to the next division. There he found Iris with her babies all snug and warm. Finally, he reached Clover’s domain. He reached in and petted her. She growled. He ignored her because she always made a little sound when he reached in. He started to separate the fur to find the kits. In one swift motion, Clover jumped toward Daddy startling him so that he let the roof drop and kick his stool over. Clover was not about to miss this golden opportunity to teach this human whose hutch was whose, she rolled on her back, grabbed Daddy’s ears with her front claws and began clawing at his chest with her hind legs. Mother heard the commotion, as did several of the neighbors, and came running outside to find Daddy half in and half out with his legs flailing. It was all she and the neighbors could do to stop laughing long enough rescue him from the grips of that disgruntled doe.

His injuries were slight, except the one to his ego, consisting of painful but superficial scratches. The lesson was finally learned because he gave Clover a wide berth until she weaned her kits, though he told all who would listen that it was one of the neighborhood dogs who the caused Clover’s hostility. Two weeks later three boys from the woodshop class corrected the flaw in design trying not to laugh when Daddy was around. It just goes to prove “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” On the other hand, maybe it should be rabbits and men.