This isn't as lovey-dovey as most people think when they first start reading it. |
They flood in every time I hear your voice, Every time I see your face, They all come back, and fill my head again. Some are good, some scare me. In some I see your beautiful smiling face, So beautiful, so familiar, But in most your face is horribly daunting, Angrily glaring at me. What could I have done, to make you this way? Angry with me, why? Why do you not love me, what did I do? Maybe it’s just me, Maybe no one loves me, how could they? I hear your laughter from the next room, Ugly and piercing, Penetrating into my head, trapping me. I hear your footsteps, coming towards me. Coming for me? To save me or slay me. Why don’t you love me? As I love you, I sit in the corner; I push myself to the wall, I see your face appear at the corner, I’m sorry. I see you walk towards me, You pull me off the ground, The power of your strong hands, Your face is so contorted, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry now, Sorry I protested last time, Sorry I tried to make you stop, Sorry I though I should have a say, I’m sorry, I was wrong. The force of your hand hits me hard, I’m sorry; I tried not to scream, You arms push me against the wall, I will not tell, I swear, I’m sorry I told. Stop! Please! No! I’m sorry, I deserve it. I shouldn’t have told. You hand hits my face again and again, My face is wet with tears, As you push me onto the couch, Please, I love you, Don’t you love me to? It will be ok, hold me please. I wont tell again, I was wrong. I feel you sit next to me, You pull me close to you, Is it ok now? Please let it be. I feel you breath on my ear, I smell the alcohol in your air, And I hear you mutter to me, The only words I want to hear, “I love you” Because you hurt me, Is it ok now? Does that make it right? Are we even? I don’t understand, but I hope so. You hold me to your chest, You kiss my forehead, my nose, my lips, Thank you. I love you. |