A World Without Fear Intro

Hi everyone :). This is my first entry onto the site so I’m not expecting anything any great replies to it. Just rip into it and tell me whats good/bad and what you think of it, don’t hold back.
This is the intro to a story idea I had a few months ago. It tells the story of an 18-year-old boy who has lived his whole life in a perfect world on a space station designed to look like the world we have today. But then his perfect girlfriend is assigned to a job on Earth, and his world is thrown into turmoil.
I have only done a page so far because of exams etc. but now that they’re over I want to improve my writing skills over the summer! Anyway, enough nattering, on with the story.



A World Without Fear

The sun rose boldly into the dark sky, pushing back the gloomy curtain as it climbed. The first rays from its weary face touched Pan at exactly 6:30am, as it had done for the last 18 years of his life.
He opened his eyes just a little. Yes, the leftmost ray was stroking his work desk in the far corner of the dim room. When that ray of light shone upon the lamp clamped onto the edge of the clean surface, it would be time to wake up.
‘Five minutes’ he thought, and returned to his happy thoughts and dreams of the previous night.
His future. ‘Ah yes, a glorious future awaits me!’ he beamed at the ceiling.
He was to be an associate of GalTech, just as his parents and brother are. Working as a technical assistant, he could have comfortable 11am to 6pm shifts from home, hunting down Artificially Intelligent viruses and eliminating them from the GalTech systems.
He would never have to leave his home, as all his work would be immediately transmitted via the SatNet to Corporation Home on Earth. He would get a brand new Net System, with the newest Holo screens available and with Virus tracking software that’s not even being sold yet! His friends would be so jealous, if they weren’t all getting the same job too.
His family promised him his own place. His own house right in the middle of Town! Of course that would be after GalTech accepted his application, Pan expected a reply within a few weeks, as their systems were often overloaded with willing applicants.
But he knew he was a cut above the rest. Everyone in Town was. He had an average Net grade score of 96%, and that was without revision. An IQ of 140+ always pretty much guaranteed a job with GalTech, even though he was yet to sit his summer examinations.
And then of course there was Alyssa. She was beautiful, perfect. Pan didn’t like any of the other girls in Town, she had to be The One.
It seemed everything was working out in life. Of course, his home was designed to be perfect. Once just another wasted space station meandering its way around the Earth’s surface, Town had been blessed with human ingenuity. Now it encapsulated the perfect life within its giant dome. With constant sun, no crime and pretty much unrestricted freedom, Pan had to chuckle as he thought of the chaos back on Earth.
A knock sounded dully on the pale wooden door.
‘Pan, its time to get up!’ his mother spoke softly.
‘Coming!’ he eagerly replied, and so began the morning routine.