If I Were President

If I Were President

There would be a lot of changes around here if I were President. The men who have been running things so far have proved to be too dull and boring. They also lack personality and creativity. How can things get done with a combination like that? I have all of the ingredients needed to be the best president ever.

For one thing, what’s with all of the dark suits? Those have to go! I would take all of the world meetings out of the stuffy board rooms, and onto the beach. It would be a luau setting. Everyone would wear colorful flowered shirts while listening to soft Caribbean music in the background. All of their senses would be in awe as they feel soft sand under their feet, sway with the coconut palms, and breathe in the fresh sea air. What world problems couldn’t be settled after a few dances of the Macarena? I have connections too. We would have Mother Nature watching over us.

Of course there would still be those who insist on making trouble and mayhem. That wouldn’t be a problem for me at all if I were President. I would make a call to the Fairy Godmother to get her friends to sprinkle Pixie dust on them. Everyone would enjoy a happy world. I guess I would have to take stronger measures with those tougher ones. Didn’t ‘I Dream of Jeanie’ come from Baghdad? She could get her friends to take care of that problem. I could picture those guys throwing away their guns to don Hawaiian shirts and do the Macarena.

Why are buildings created in such dull colors? No wonder people are so glum! That would all change if I were President. Picture a big city skyline brightly colored with all the colors of the rainbow. Everything would be in colors, from lamp posts to fire hydrants. Just think of all the new jobs this would create. Someone has to do the planning and painting. No one would ever be unemployed again. Where would the extra money come from? For one thing, men would no longer have to make big company charges to buy those dark business suits anymore. Fine dining for business meetings would be replaced with Luaus and barbeques. We would find lots of ways to cut costs.

Why are government purchases so expensive anyway? That would all change if I were President. I know how to shop for a good bargain. I would bring the costs of everything down. There would be lots of extra money for medical and educational purposes. Outstanding schools would mean happier children. Happy children are more likely to grow into happy adults. There would be well adjusted people living in a crime free world.

As you can see, the world would be a much better place if I were President. I have a plan to end crime and unemployment. We would finally have world peace, which women have hoped for in beauty pageants for years. All the needs of people would be taken care of, from education to medicine. Our new colorful world would be a truly happy place for everyone. Don’t you think that I should be the President?