Land of the Magical Bunnies

         Once upon a time, although the exact date is unknown, there was a land. It was the Land of the Magical Bunnies, otherwise known as the LMB. All the bunnies lived in peace and harmony under the rule of the king and his royal family. All the royal bunnies were blue, and although the origin of this genetic abnormality can not be traced, it was that which made known whether a bunny was of the royal family. The way in which a new king was picked was to choose the son of the current king that was the bluest. This tale that you are about to read shows the struggle of one young bunny that shall take leadership. But this bunny has a problem, a problem that may lead to the end of the royal family and cause civil war to the kingdom. This is the story of little bunny Fufu. Wait, that sounds familiar somehow. Should I say “little bunny Fufu”? Maybe saying “Prince Fufu” would be more appropriate. Anyway, here it is…

          It was happening again, a flashback to a time that would haunt him forever. It was at his school play. The class was performing the play, “The Day the World Came To an End Because There Were Environmental Disasters And An Asteroid Crashed In To The Atlantic Ocean.” All Fufu had to say was, “Oh no, we’re all going to die!” But, something went terribly wrong. Instead, he said, “Oh, this is not good that death will come to us!” Ever since then, he had a fear of public speaking.
          Then, there was another flashback. It was one of the most horrible days ever. His father, the king, had taken him to the ice cream parlor. The guy there said to him, “What flavor would you like?”
          Fufu responded, “Vanilla, please.”
          “No problem,” said the ice cream guy. “Oh, it appears as if my pants have gotten caught in the freezer.”
          “That’s OK,” said his father. “I will scoop the ice cream for you.”
          What happened next was tragic. When the king leaned over the counter, his head got caught in the ice cream. “Somebody call 911!” shouted Fufu.
          The ice cream guy called, but by the time the ambulance had arrived, it was too late. The king had, he had, expired. Perished. Met his fate. “He’s dead? Nooooooooo…”
          It continued through the night. “…ooooooooooooooo…”
          “It was all my fault! If I hadn’t asked to go to the ice cream parlor, none of this would have ever happened!”
          “You can’t blame yourself,” said his girlfriend, Fluffy. “It was a freak accident. You had no way of knowing.”
          “They can’t have a selfish king.”
          “You aren’t selfish. You are the greatest bunny I know. They need a king like you. You are brilliant. Hey, you were the only one who could spell antidisestablishmentarianism, right?”
          “That’s not even a real word.”
          “Sure it is. It was in the spelling bee, right?”
          “Fluffy, I have something important to tell you.”
          “What is it?”
          “Don’t be sad when I tell you this. We’ve been going out for a while. Well, the other day, I met someone who really caught my attention. We can still be friends.”
          “Who is it?”
          “She’s right over here.”
          “But Fufu-”
          “I know your upset, but-”
          “It’s a rock!”
          “It is? Oh, sorry then.”
          That was when another bunny walked in.
          “So, I hear that you’re gonna become king, huh?” said the bunny.
          “Yes, this is correct.”
          “Look, don’t you realize what is going on out there? The people want change. It’s about time they get heard. How can one group of bunnies run the whole kingdom? They need a voice in politics. They need to elect their leader! What does it matter that you are blue? Does that make you better at running a kingdom than, let’s say, me?”
          “What are you trying to say?”
          “It’s time to make the LMB a democracy, so tomorrow, we both make speeches, and all the other bunnies will choose who to be their leader. And, just between you and me, I don’t think that they would pick one who would kill their father to take the thrown.”
          “Nooooooooooooooooo! It was a freak accident!”
          “That’s what you say, but it’s not what everyone else thinks. Remember, tomorrow, or else!”
          “Fluffy, I can’t do this. Ever since the play, I’ve always had a fear of public speaking.”
          “You can do it. Just believe in yourself.”
          It was the next day. Fufu had a speech ready, but he was nervous. How could he go up in front of all those bunnies? What if he would mess up? First, the other bunny made his speech.
          “Fellow citizens of the Land of the Magical Bunnies. I am here today hoping for you to pick me as your leader, not because I have blue fur, but because I can run this kingdom.
          “And how can one run the whole kingdom by themselves? If I become leader, I will have you elect a group of bunnies, a congress that will listen to what you, the people, have to say. It should be you who run the kingdom, not this MURDERER!
          “That’s right! He killed his father to become the king and claimed it was an accidental death. Chant with me. Murderers can’t be king! Murderers can’t be king! Murderers can’t be king!”
          The crowd was loud with applause.
          “Now, let’s see what this murderer has to say.”
          “I can’t do it,” said Fufu to Fluffy behind the stage.
          “You will do fine,” she replied, “just read what you wrote.”
          “What if I mess up? What if they don’t like it?”
          “There’s no way you’ll become king if you don’t read it.”
          “You’re right. No matter what, I’ll do my best.”
          And then Fufu read his speech.
          “Fourscore and seven years ago, when, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a bird in the hand to be worth two in the bush, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can count their chickens before the hatch. Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. A rolling stone grows no moss, and the world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal and independent; that from that equal creation they derive in rights inherent and inalienable, among which are the preservation of life, and liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
          “Look, what I’m trying to say is that I think we should go with what we’ve been doing for what seems to be forever. This other guy does have a point about letting the people run the kingdom, but he also lies. I didn’t kill my father; he fell over the counter in the parlor and suffocated on the ice cream. It was a freak accident. Now, I have overcome my fear of public speaking. Let’s go about our daily lives just like we always have, and vote for me. And no recounts allowed.”
          There was more applause than before.
          “Wait, I still have 67 more pages to read!”
          “Fufu,” said Fluffy, “that was amazing! How did you come up with such a phenomenal speech?”
          “The presidents of America have really brilliant minds.”
          And so, after the longest time, Prince, or shall I say, King Fufu overcame his obstacles and proved that you can do anything that you set out to do, unless you try to lift 6 million pounds, or try to jump over the Grand Canyon. And so, like all appropriate stories require, I shall end with this: they lived happily ever after!