Reuters: Writer Seeks Job!

Freelance Writer/P.R. Person Seeks Staff Position


Reuters; New York City. Andrew Seifert, an aspiring writer and all around dedicated worker with a certain flair for communications announced today that he will be entering the job market in hopes of landing his dream job with your company. “I really have a lot to offer to the right employer and I would do just about anything to obtain even an entry level position with your company” Andrew, whose friends call him Andy said in an interview late last night. “Not for nothing and I really don’t want to sound pretentious but I just know that I was put on this planet to do more than lug lumber around a construction site somewhere out in the middle of nowhere USA.” It was not the first time Mr. Seifert expressed disdain for the blue collar lifestyle. In a sound bite from a late night drinking binge that took place on New Years Eve 2000 Andrew was overheard saying; “This is going to be my century! All I want to do is make my parents proud and have a job that I can’t wait to get up and go to every day.” When questioned about this earlier comment Mr. Seifert said “sure I stand by that statement 100%. If anything I would like to revise it by saying that the type of job I was referring to would be any job at your company!” In addition to being a contributing writer for Transworld Magazine – which is owned by Time Warner’s publishing offshoot Time 4 Media – Andrew Seifert has seen some success as a freelance public relations person working on several different projects over the past several years. “At the very least his resume and CV are worth looking at just to see what a range he has” said Carol Seifert who collaborated with Mr. Seifert on a major IPO back in December of 1971. “He is really capable of doing it all” she continued. “Given the opportunity Andy would make an excellent addition to any team as he has a passion for his work that surpasses all else” said Eric, an editor at one of the publications which Andrew has worked with many times. He went on to say “Andy is that rare type who does humor, investigative, fiction and public relations material well and will clean the bathrooms at your company after pulling an all night work session to make a deadline.” On top of all of the accolades for his written skills Adrew Seifert proved his verbal abilities when he took the job as “emcee” at the Warp Tour Qualifiers on Long Island. As of this writing he has hosted several other large scale events where in addition to serving as master of ceremonies he was the overall event coordinator. Perhaps most shocking of all is that in the face of such accolades Andrew maintains an air of modesty that most would be hard pressed to display given the situation. When presented with a rough draft of this very piece Andrew Seifert smiled from ear to ear. It wasn’t so much a smile of acknowledgement as much as it was one of embarrassment. I asked him what he thought of the piece and was not surprised in the slightest by his response. Easing back onto the couch at his modest walkup in Queens he contemplated for what felt like an hour but was probably more like a minute then looked at me and with charachteristic modesty said; “it’s a great piece and I certainly hope it helps me to get a job at your company, but I think you give me too much credit. It’s a lot to live up to.” I asked him if I should revise it. “No” he replied. “I have no problem with hard work and as far as meeting the expectations one might have after reading this I am up to the challenge.” I have to say that I believe him. “It’s just that…” he began and I prodded him to continue “I don’t know if the piece is something I would write about myself.”
Bill Hellenbach