Wishing

Yesterday I closed my eyes
and wished that I was someone else.

Today I woke up and I was a single mom
with three kids and addicted to cocaine
the welfare checks weren’t enough
and being off crack so long was tearing apart my insides
as I soothed my daughter’s hunger cries
I closed my eyes, and wished to be someone else.

Suddenly I was a man on death row
getting ready to die for a crime I didn’t commit
my pain was threatening to swallow me as
I asked God how he could do this to me, to my family
and as I wondered how justice had wronged me so badly
I closed my eyes, and wished to be someone else.

Suddenly I was freezing
with no home to claim as mine
it was winter yet I was wearing a spring jacket
two sizes too small
I hated the look people passing by gave me
I hated how some pretended I didn’t exist
and as I watched the man’s quarter drop onto the icy ground beside me
I closed my eyes, and wished to be someone else.

Suddenly I was at a lunchroom table
sitting alone by myself
I could hear the girls behind me snickering
laughing about what I had worn that day
I ate my lunch and pretended like I didn’t care
but I did
I cried inside because I dreaded the next school day
and every day after that
and as another peal of laughter rang out behind me
I closed my eyes, and wished I could be anyone else.

And suddenly I was myself again,
wishing to be someone else
but then I realized
there are a lot of people in this world
wishing
to be me.