Three Short Plays

WARNING: It has come to my attention that I shouldn't express my ideas if people can't understand them. I was not aware of this, but now that I am, if enough people don't understand me, I will stop expressing myself. Thank you.

         A kitchen. A refrigerator, sink, counter, and various other things one would find in a kitchen are in this kitchen. Peter enters from stage right and tosses a set of keys on the counter.

         Peter: Hey Roger!
         Roger, offstage: Yeah? He comes onstage sans shirt, with a towel wrapped around his waist.
         Peter: I was gonna go grab something to eat, you wanna come?
         Roger, walking offstage left: Sure, but I gotta wait forty-five minutes, I just got out of the pool. He exits.
         Peter: Oh, okay. I’ll wait for you.

A long pause.

         Peter, suddenly realizing: We don’t have a pool… another pause. That wasn’t Roger!

         The curtain closes, and after a few seconds, it reopens. A guy walks in with a glass of milk. He trips on the floor and the glass flies out of his hand, spilling milk everywhere. He gasps, and his eyes well up with tears. Suddenly, a woman runs in.

         Woman: I thought I heard something, are you okay? He points to the milk. Her hand goes to her mouth, and her eyes well up with tears.

         Again the curtain closes, and after a period of time sufficient for the cleaning up of the milk, it reopens, this time with a glass vase on the counter. The stage is silent for a few seconds before a glass flies in and shatters against the wall, stage left.

         Voice 1: OH YEAH! Another glass flies in and hits the same spot.
         Voice 2: YEAH! A huge glass bowl is tossed on stage, shattering loudly. Voice 2 enters, holding some plates, which he throws onto the floor, registering a guttural “UH!” on impact each time. Voice 1 then enters, holding a large bag full of glassware. He swings it over his shoulder and hits it on the floor repeatedly, howling the entire time. #2 grabs the vase, pulls out the flowers, and hurls the vase at the left wall.
         #1: What the hell?! Silence. What did you do that for?
         #2: What?
         #1: That was my fucking vase, asshole! Why did you do that?! He pushes #2.

FIN.