One Guy Two GIrls

I have known Shane since I moved here in third grade. For some reason we sat by each other in most of the classes we had together. Shane was popular when we were kids. He was friends with everyone. When we got into junior high, his attitude changed. He stopped trusting everyone except his best friend Jared. When he stopped trusting people, people stopped trusting him the only reason girls would go out wit him is because he was rebel of our school they felt like they were being dangerous. .
.
.The only person I see Shane hang around is was Jared Collins. Jared was the average America boy. He was handsome. He had short black hair and heavenly blue eyes He was the one every one trusted. He had no enemies. He was dating an equally popular girl, Amy Wilson. She was pretty and smart. She had long blond hair and a slender body. Any guy would die to go out with her. They were going to be the most popular couple in school.

Shane and I were sophomores. We have two classes together and lunch. At the beginning of the year, he was in classes regularly but then he stated to show up less and less. I never knew him personally but I felt like I needed to help him out. The days he would miss, I would copy my notes and give them to Jared. Jared thanked me for helping Shane. After school, one day I was meeting Jared because we had a big test coming up and I wanted make sure Shane had plenty of time to study.
“Here,” I handed him Jared a copy of the notes.
“Why do you care if Shane passes?” He asked
“Because like you I know what he’s like. There more to him then he let people see,”
“Come with me,” He replied. He put his backpack over his shoulder.
“Ok,” I replied. I followed him out to his car. Him and Shane restored.1965 Mustang convertible it was red with white leather seats. .To me it was one the most perfect cars. Jared threw his bag in the back seat. I did the same. He took of through the parking lot. He drove through town. We ended up on the edge of town at one of the trailer parks. We went through the trailer park. I saw Shane jeep parked. We parked a couple of houses down.
“You have to understand were Shane comes from to understand Shane. Shane never had a happy home His fathers a drunk who cannot take care of himself little alone Shane. His mom died before he turned ten. She was the only thing that kept him going. Now that she’s gone I ‘m the only one left who gives a damn what happens to him,”
“I care,” I replied. “I want to be his friend. I want to help him,”
I think he could tell by the look on my face that I truly cared about what happened to him “Ok,’ He started his Mustang. We ended up at Dottie’s it was the local café were everyone went. Jared smiled at Amy when we walked in. We took a booth in the back.
“Hey baby,” Amy replied.
“Hey,’ He smiled
“Hey Joss,” Amy replied
“Hi Amy,” I was a little nervous. Amy was one of the most popular people in our class. She got good grade, she is on student council and she worked at the café. She was nice to everyone.
“What can I get you guys,” She leaned against Jared. Jared put his arm around her waist
“Coke,” Jared replied
“Same,”
“Two Cokes,” She smiled.
I watched Amy go behind the counter and get the Cokes.
“Tell me what you know about Shane?”
“Not much, only what I know through school. I have sat by him a lot over the years,”
“I’ve noticed that,” He smiled. I couldn’t help but blush.
“I’m going to be honest with you,” I replied. This may be the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. He will probably laugh in my face. He may even go and tell Shane. “I see something in Shane that I haven’t seen in anyone before. People see him walk down the hall and all they see is what he looks like. They see someone who skips class. I see what he writes down in his notebooks. I see his deep thoughts. Like last years, Ms. Long was reciting a poem by James Joyce he was reciting to himself word for word. I was the only one who saw that. He not what people think he is,”
“Your right,” Amy brought us our drinks


Friday came around I was nervous about history. I was hoping Shane was going to be there. I was hoping I could trust Jared not say anything to Shane. If Shane knew, would Shane say something to me? The bell rang; Shane didn’t show up for class. I was somewhat relieved but I was also worried. The teacher started passing out our test. The classroom door opened.
“Thank you for gracing us with you present, Mr. Nichols,” The teacher replied. Shane did not say anything he took his seat. He made eye contact with me. I just gave him a small smile. Did he know? I had to get through the test. When the bell rang everyone handed in there test in the front. I followed Shane out of the classroom. I didn’t say anything. When I got outside Amy was waiting.
“Hi,’ Amy replied to me
“Hi,” I walked over to her.
“Come join us for lunch,”
I was confused.
“Come on,” Amy took my arm. We walked through the halls to the yard. We walked passed the tables and went and sat on the wall that said Kennedy High School across it. I saw Jared and Shane talking. I had known idea what I got myself into. I was sick to my stomach. I didn’t now how to act around Shane. I admired him from a distance, but to have a conversation with him I would probably throw up all over him. Jared didn’t know what thoughts went through my head when I was next to Shane. I was afraid I would say something I didn’t’ want anyone else to know. I sat down by Amy. Jared and Shane were talking about a movie they saw. Amy rolled he eyes. She opened he sack lunch I tried not to stare at Shane but it was impossible. I saw him look at me a couple of times.
After that day at lunch, Amy and I started to hang out more. Jared and I became better friends. I began to trust Jared. He was becoming a good friend. We ended up at the café a lot to waiting for Amy to get off work. We talked about everything. I could pretty much tell him anything


“Home work,” A person was standing over me I looked up. It was Shane.
“No, Great Expectations,” I showed him the cover
School ended an hour ago. I suppose to be getting a ride from my mom but she was running late. .
“Do you need a ride or something,” He asked.
“Sure,” I blurted out “I mean if you don’t mind,”
I followed Shane to his jeep. He had the top off. We got in. He took off out of the parking lot. I told him where I lived. We drove in silence. When we got to my house I asked if he wanted to come in, he told me was running late for work. He had three jobs. One at the video store on the weekends, He works as a part time mechanic at Larry’s during the week, and works odd hours at the café when they needed him. I figured that why he missed a lot of school.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” He replied
“Ok,’ I smiled and got of his jeep He handed me my bag. I watched him pull away. .
I wish I had someone else to talk to about this; my best friend went away for the semester as a foreign exchange student to Europe. We email each other a lot but it was not he same. I went up to my room and pulled out my books but I didn’t feel like doing any homework. I lay in my bed and looked up at the ceiling. I had a bunch of quotes. Most of them were from Shakespeare. I loved Romeo and Juliet. I tuned on my radio. I fell asleep. The phone woke me up it was Emily from Europe. We talked for a while but I never mentioned what has been happing to me the last couple of weeks. Why was that? I let her talked about everything that was going on. She seemed very happy but she told me she couldn’t’ wait to come home.

The next day at school Shane was there all day. It had to be the first. I was happy to see him. He walked into History
“Two days in a row I’m impressed Mr. Nichols. Are we turning over a new leaf,” Sean did not respond he just took his seat. Mr. Kyle started his lecture. After class Shane stood up
“You ready,” He asked me
“Yeah,” I gathered my books. Shane and I walked to lunch. Amy and Jared were already there. They were kissing when we approached. It felt a little occurred. I tried no to look at them Shane and I sat across from them. When they saw us, they stopped.

The next day Shane did not show up. I wonder what happen to him. He use to do it a lot but know that I knew him it was scared for him. After History I went to lunch, I talked to Jared to see if he knew what was going on. Jared knew as much I did. I couldn’t help but worry for him. I wish I could find him but it wasn’t my place to try to help him. After school, I was walking through the parking lot when I saw Shane pull in. I ran to his jeep. He was walking into school.
“Hi,’ I replied
“Hi,” He looked shock to see me
“Is everything ok,’ I asked
“Yeah,” He replied
I walked closer to him. He stepped closer to me.
“I’m want you to know if you need anything I’m here,” I replied
He didn’t’ say anything four a couple a seconds. “Ok,” He stepped closer to me. We were in almost kissing territory. He stopped “I got to go,” He replied
“Ok,” I wanted to kiss him so bad. He steeped back and turned around. I watched him walk into the building. I didn’t’ feel like going home. I went to the café I was hopping either Jared or Amy was there. I walked in Amy was helping a couple. I sat down in one of the empty tables Amy looked swamped She came over to the table. “It so busy today one of waitress quite on us,”
“I’m looking for a job,” I replied
“Really.”
“Yeah collage isn’t gong to pay for itself,” I smiled.
“Ok, I’ll get you an application,”
That wasn’t the only reason I was getting a job her. It helped that Shane worked here. Amy came back with an application. I filled it out. She took it back to her boss A few minutes later her boss came out. He sat across from me at the table. He interviewed me. He must have like me because he asked to start the next day. Amy took me in back and got me a uniform. She showed me around and introduced me to some of the staff.
“It’s your lucky day. Shane working tomorrow,”” She smiled
I just smiled.

The next day after school, I went o work my shift stared at three thirty. I walked in back Shane was there.
“Did they suck you in to,” Shane replied
“I’m afraid so,” I smiled.
He shut his locker and went to the kitchen. Amy came in the back.
“Ready”
“As I’ll ever be,” The first day was weird. I was trying to learn everything. I was trying to keep mine mind off Shane. I watched him from a distance. He was concentrated on his work. He looked so serious it was almost charming. Amy and I were in charge of closing. Shane decided to stay Amy turned on the radio. She began dancing. I was picking up the dishes off the remaining tables.
“Come take a break,” Shane replied
I went and sat by Shane. Jared went to dance with Amy.
That night Shane and me started talking. We didn’t talk about anything specific just life in general but for some reason after that night it wasn’t hard to talk to him. We stared having regular conversations. We ended up talking before and after school. I think he started to trust me. I also noticed all the girls he was dating. He didn’t do girlfriends. I asked Jared about it one time and he said he didn’t want anyone to hold him back. He wanted to be able to pick up and leave at anytime.
One night at the café, it was slow. Shane and I were taking a break. Cindy Lions came in the door. She was a year older then us and very popular. She was not smart but pretty. She could make any person do anything for her. She came over to our booth.
“Hey Shane,” She replied. I was thinking to myself could her outfit be any tighter. She was driving me insane. If she wanted to go out with him just say so. She leaned down and whispered something in her ear. I rolled my eyes and walked to the back. I was going to grab the containers to refill the saltshakers. Shane came back
:”What’s your problem,” He asked opening his locker
“You,” I replied. I could not believe I said that to him. I wanted to take it back.
“What are you talking about?”
“Never mind,” I grabbed the tray and was going to go out front again. He stood in the doorway.
“What did you mean?” He asked
“If you must know I hate the way you treat women,”
“They don’t seem to mind,” He smiled
“Well some don’t but sooner or later some girl is going to fall in love with you and you are going to break her heart. Can you live with that?”
He stood there for a few seconds before letting me through.



I went over to Jared’s I was hopping he was home. I saw his car out front. I snuck through the back gate. I knocked on his window. He was doing his homework. He opened the window for me.
“What’s up Man,” He asked
“Your new friend,’ I said climbing through the window
“Joss?”
“Yeah,”
“What about her”
“She told me she hated the way I treated women. Why does she care who I date,”
“Why do you care what she thinks?” He sat at his desk chair and looked back my way
He was right. Why should I care what Joss thinks it has nothing to do with her.
“By the way here are the notes from yesterday. I forgot to give them to you,” He through me a packet of papers. Shane caught them. It was Joss’s handwriting
“Joss has been the one giving me the notes?”
You didn’t know that,”
“I didn’t’ think about it. I just thought it was someone else,” He replied
“Nope it’s been Joss,” He replied.
I did owe her something.
“I can’t owe anybody anything,” I looked at Jared
“Then tell her to stop but I think it’s a good idea to let her help you. So you don’t’ flunk out of school,” He replied. Jared was right the last thing I need to do is to get in trouble with my father.
“Look I got to go I’ll talk to you tomorrow,”
“Ok,”
I drove home my mind didn’t stop thinking about Joss. Joss barely knew me. Why would she do something like this for me? I pulled up to my house. May’s car was out front. Why was she here? I got out of my Jeep.
“Hey,” May replied
“Hey,”
“Can we go somewhere and talk,”
“Talk about what,”
“I’m sorry,” She replied
“No we are not going through this again,” I walked away.
May was in to the gothic look she had long black hair with blue highlights. She wore short leather skirts and high boots. She had her tongue pierced and her eyebrow. She also had two tattoos but only guys who slept with her could see. May and I dated all though our freshman year the last day of school we went to her house. We lost our virginity to each other. We wanted to do it before she left for the summer. I though it would make us closer. Instead, she called me two days later and broke up with me. I spent the whole summer getting over her. When I got back to school, I saw her kissing Max Martin. I wanted to kill someone.
“Come on Shane five minutes,”
I could use the detraction. “Five minutes,” I replied
“Ok,” she handed me the keys to her car. We got in and took off. We ended up at the lake. That’s were most kids ended up when they wanted to be alone.
“I want us to have another chance” She replied
“What happened to Max,”
“Max and I broke up a couple of weeks ago,”
“Let me cry for you,”
“Shane don’t be mean,”
“What do expect me to do? Your broke my heart. I finally get over you and you come crawling back again. I’m not doing it again,’
“Just give me a chance to prove to you. Go out Friday night and see how things go. If you don’t want to go out with me after that if you don’t want to date we don’t have to”
I had to get my mind off Joss. I agreed on one date. She leaned over and started kissing me. That was detraction from Joss.
The next day at the café Joss was working up front, I sat down on in the back booth. She came over.
“Shane I’m sorry for what I said it’s none of my business who you date,”
“Your right,” I replied. She looked hurt.
“I was just giving you a hint on how to treat women,’ you could tell she was mad at me
“Unlike you I don’t have a problem getting a date,” I knew that was harsh as it was coming out but I couldn’t stop himself.
I wouldn’t give you anymore advice” She replied. She turned and walked over to Amy and whispered something to her ear
Why was I being that way towards her? She hasn’t done anything but help me out. Amy walked over to me
“What the hell did you say to her?”
“Why,”
“Go talk to her,”
“Why should I,”
“Because if you don’t’ I will kick your ass myself and don’t think I won’t,” Amy replied
“Fine,” Amy think she scared me but I really wanted to apologize to her. I walked in the back. I could hear her crying in the bathroom. I waited out side until she came out.
“Hey” I replied. I scared her.
“I must have gotten something in my eyes,” She wiped her tears. “How long have you been back here?”
“Not long,” I lied I heard her crying for at least five minutes. “I’m sorry,”
“Don’t be it’s me. I shouldn’t but into other people business,”
“Honesty I’m glad you do,” I stepped closer to her. “I found out it was you giving me my notes,”
“You weren’t suppose to find out,” She replied
“Well if you didn’t’ want me to now you shouldn’t work here," She smiled back. It made him feel a little better.
“Truce,” Joss held out my hand
“Truce,” I shook my hand.

I went out on a date with May. It was like old times we had a few laughs. Honestly, getting back into our groove made life a little bit easier. I didn’t’ have to think It was just natural. Maybe that is what I needed.
I started seeing May regular we ended up being a couple again. I got to work a couple minutes early Joss and Amy were in the back.
“I can’t believe your putting yourself through that again,” Amy replied
“Well I’m glad he only dating one girl,” Joss smiled at me.
For the last week, Amy has been reminding me daily what May did to me. I could go one day without Amy’s reminder
“We have to get up front,” Joss grabbed Amy’s by the arm and they went out front
I got dressed and went into the kitchen. Joss was turning in an orders she seemed happy.
“Why are you in a good mode?”
“Nothing,” She couldn’t’ help but giggle.
I watched her walk back to the front booth. Billy Funkhouser was sitting there. I saw her flirting with her. No not Billy he was the biggest player in the school. What did she see in him?
“Hey,” Amy replied
“What,” I replied
“Food," She replied,” What are you staring at?”
“Nothing,” I flipped the burgers.
“Are we a little jealous?”
“No. Why would I be?”
‘You know it’s ok to like her she won’t’ bite,”
“Food,” I handed her a plate. She walked away. .
.
After work, I saw Billy and Joss leave together. Why should I care who she's dating? I was seeing May. My feeling for May wasn't the same. I knew I was using her. I had to break up with her.
The next day Billy and Joss came and sat by me. Billy was holding her hand.
I didn’t’ bring it up at the time that I was broke up with May. I acted as if everything was ok. I waited until Seventh hour to talk to Joss again. She walked into the classroom
“Hey,” She smiled
“Hi,”
The teacher was stated her lesson
“Can we get together and study?” I whispered to her
“Sure,” She replied, “Tonight at nine when the café closes,’
“Ok,”
The teacher cleared her throat. She was looking at us. I turned around and paid attention. After school I had to go to work Joss wasn’t working today, her and Billy came in and sat at one of the booths. They were flirting with each other I was driving insane I couldn’t watch.

After the café closed, Joss was waiting for me. We went to her house to study. I couldn’t’ concentrate. I was going crazy
“Are you ok,” She asked
“No,” I replied
“What is it?”
“You’re driving me insane,” He replied
“How’s that,”
“You’re dating Billy,”
“So you’re dating May,”
“Not anymore,”
“I’m sorry,”
“Don’t be I broke up with her,”
“Want to talk about it?”
I did I wanted to get mad at her. I had the life it was just me. I was free to leave whenever I wanted. Then she came along and put this spell on me.
“No. Let’s get through this chapter,”

I went to school the next day to find Jared.
“Hey Joss," Billy replied
“Hey,” I smiled at him.
“Are we still on for our date tonight,”
“Yeah,” I tired to sound happy. “Look I have to go I’ll catch up with you at lunch?”
“Ok,” I he gave me a kiss
I went find Jared before first class started. He was talking to Amy by her locker. I asked Jared if he knew if something was wrong with Shane. He didn’t’ notice anything. I was hopping he would show up today but he didn’t. I was worried about him. At least I worked with him tomorrow.

I walked into the back Joss and Amy were both back there. Amy and she stopped talking as soon as I walked in the door. Joss went into the restroom.
“Is she ok,” I asked
“Yes and No,” She replied
“What’s going on?’
“It’s not my place to say,”
I closed my locker. Joss came out. She barley said hi to me before going out to the front. I went into the kitchen. She was avoiding me. Amy was turning in her orders. She finally had to come back and one of her orders. She picked up one of the plates she flinched and almost dropped it
“You ok,”
“Yeah,” She replied. It took all her might to pick it up and take it to the table. I was watching her the rest of the day she wasn’t using he right arm. But she didn’t’ have a bandage on it She had was hiding something. After closing, I was hoping to get her alone. Amy and Joss left before I had a chance to talk to her. I finished closing up I was walking to my jeep I saw Joss and Billy. I figured they had date. I was going to take off but it looked like she was trying to get away from him. I took off in the jeep. They both saw the headlights and froze. I jumped out. Billy backed off.
“What the hell is going on?”


“Nothing,” I replied, “Forget about it. Billy was just leaving,”
“Yeah,” Billy got in his car and took off.
“Are you going to tell me what that was about?”
“No,” She started walking away
I picked up the rock of they ground. “Hey,” She turned around I tossed the rock at her. . She caught it with her right her had but dropped it right away.
“Come on we’re friends right,” She walked back my way
“How did you…”
“I have two eyes,’ He replied. I pulled up her sleeve her wrist was bruised and swollen. I didn’t’ feel like anything was broken. She pulled a wrist bandage out of her pocket. I put it back on.
“You going to tell me what happened,”
“No,” She replied. She wasn’t’ herself.
“Well at can at least kick his ass,”
“I don’t’ think you have to worry about it. I kicked him so hard he wouldn’t’ be having sex for weeks,’ She could help but smile
“He tried to,’
“Shane stops,”
“I’m your friend,” Shane replied

I hoped Shane never finds out I went out with Billy is to avoid feeling the pain to see him with May. Shane was the love of my life but the chance of him and me are slim. We are two different. I only wish I could be honest with him. When he was putting the bandage on me, it sent goose bumps through my body.
“I can’t talk about this with you,” I took my hand away. I put it back in my pocket.
“Come on I’ll give you a ride home,’ I replied
With Billy out I didn’t’ feel like walking home. I agreed. I got into his jeep. We pulled up to my house. I didn’t say anything. I looked at my house.
“Are you sure your ok,”
“Yeah,” I replied.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. I leaned over and kissed her. After tonight, I didn’t want anyone but her. She was the only one who get pass this wall I put up. . I needed her. When I kissed her, she kissed me back. I felt her hand on my cheek. I stopped kissing her. She smiled. She started kissing me. Her parents pulled into the driveway.
“I got to go,” She smiled she gave me one more kiss goodnight. I watched her walk inside. I took off. I went to Jared’s house. I had to tell him. I could not keep it inside anymore. When I got to his window, his light was on. I opened.
“Do you ever use the front door,” Amy asked
“No,” I crawled in the window
“Look man can I talk to you alone,”
“Sure,”
“This debate between us is not over,” Amy replied to Jared
“Fine,” He rolled his eyes. Amy left the room
“What was that about?”
“Music,” He replied He threw a Nerf football at me, "What brings you here,”
I through the football back at him. “Joss,”
“What about her?”
“We kind of kissed tonight,” He through the football back
“It’s about time,” He replied. “You have been crushing on her for weeks,”
“You don’t’ think it stupid. She is so different then me,”
“I think that’s good thing,"
“Good.” I through him the football.
“So I’m hoping the rumor that you and May broke up is true,”
“Yeah,”
“Good,” He threw the football back.
“I got to go I’ll let you and Amy get back to your debt,”
“Cool I’ll talk to you tomorrow,”

The next day I couldn’t’ wait to see Shane. I was almost glowing with excitement. I was also scared of what was going to happen to between us.
“Hey,” I turned around it was Shane
“Hi,’ I smiled He gave me a kiss.
“Come on let’s go,” He replied
“Where,” I asked. He took my hand we walked to the end of the hall. All the freshman lockers were there. We went into one of the janitors closets.
“I couldn’t wait” He started kissing me.
“Let’s get out of here,”
“Are you sure,”
“Positive,”
We left the janitor closet the freshmen around stared at us. The janitor room was right by a set of doors. We got in his jeep and took off. We ended up at the park. We made our way to the jungle gym and laid at the top. We made out. Before we knew it, it was lunch. We got out of the jeep. He took my hand. We walked through the yard. We walked over to Amy and Jared. We sat across from Amy and Jared. Jared must have told Amy.
“I have to say it I’m so happy,” She smiled
“I’m going to go get something at the cart do you want anything,” He asked
“No, I’m good,” I smiled
“I’ll go with you man,” Jared replied
The guys left. I knew that is what Amy wanted to tell her everything. I pretty much did. She was so happy. That made me happy.

Our relationship was going great. We spent every waken moment together. He was so sweet. He was full of surprises I saw a completely different side of him. Most nights he would climb into my window we would watch movies and just hang out. I was dating my best friend. He ended up staying the night most of the time. He would just hold me.
“I have to tell you something,” I replied
“Ok,” He sat up a little.
I sat up to face him.
“I think I’m in Love with you,” I replied, “If your not with me that’s fine but I have to tell you this,”
“Ok,” He sat up all the way.
“I’m not ready to have sex with anyone. If I were ready, you would be the person. I want to lose my virginity to you. I needed to tell you this because I know your more experienced then me. I know this may affect our relationship I don’t know if you want to wait for me,”
“I can wait for you. We don’t’ have to do anything your not ready for,” He took my hand. “I feel kind of special that you want me to be the one,”
“I been wanting it to be you for awhile know,”
“How long?” he asked.
“O since I knew about sex,” I smiled
“Really,”
“Yeah,”
He started kissing me “I can wait,” We lay down

I had a doctor appointment that morning. Therefore, I was going to meet up with Shane before lunch. I walked to his locker May was there. She was being all friendly to him. He was being nice back. I walked over to him
“Hey baby,” He gave me kiss
“Hi Joss,” May replied
“Hi May,” I tried to sound nice but I wanted her to get away.
“I’ll catch you after school,” She replied and she walked away
“I see you and May are still friends,”
“Yeah,” He gave me another kiss. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m jealous of her,” I replied.
“Don’t be we are just friends I promise,” He put both of his arms around me.
I trusted him but I didn’t trust her.
“What did she want anyway,” I asked. “Our Sociology teacher teamed us up on a project. It’s a big boring project. I’ll explain it later,” He shut his locker. We went out to the yard were Amy and Jared were. I had this sick feeling in my stomach I didn’t’ trust her. I had this sick feeling the rest of the day. When seventh period came around Shane sat in front of me. He handed me a package of gummy bears. I smiled at him. The bell rang a substitute teacher came in. She told us our teacher was sick for the day so we had to use this time to study the chapter. We got into groups Shane and I were by our self. We opened our textbooks. I opened the gummy bears I kept handing him the green, white, and yellow ones. He kept throwing the yellow one back at me. Neither one of us liked them.
“So it is true,” Molly replied to us.
“What?” I asked
“You two,”
“Yeah,” I smiled
“Cool,” Her smile at Shane.
Shane and I smiled at each other.
I met up with Shane after class. We were walking to his locker May was standing by it.
“I don’t want to do this;” He replied “I can bail if you want,”
“No you need this project to pass,”
“Ok,” He gave me a kiss. “I’ll call you later,”
I watched him walk over to May.

The next night he had to work. He was working also. It was almost closing time when May walked in. I was standing at the kitchen window. Shane was cooking.
“When is this project due,” I asked
“Monday,” He replied. “I’m hoping we will be down by Friday,”
“So can I have you all to myself Saturday?”
“Promise”
I went over to May to try and tried to make nice with her. She was nice to me. I went to get her a Coke
“You know she will stab you in the back as soon as she can,” Amy replied
“I know. I’m just doing it for Shane,”
I took the coke to May. I went the counter Amy was wiping it the counter down. “Can we have a Patrick Swayze night,” I asked
“Dirty Dancing and Roadhouse,’ she smiled
“Thanks,”
Amy and I finished cleaning up. We left the same time. Shane gave me a goodnight kiss. Amy took my arm and we walked to her car. We stopped at the gas station and got a bunch of junk food. Then we drove to the house. We watched Dirty Dancing. The doorbell hang it was Jared.
“How you doing,” He asked
“Good,” I smiled
“Must not be Dirty Dancing and Roadhouse,’ He smiled. He came and sat in between Amy and me. My cell phone went off. I answered it. “I’m on my way to Amy’s,”
I was so happy I went out front to wait for him. I figured Amy and Jared could use a little a lone time. He pulled up. I met him at his jeep. I kissed him as soon as I he got out of the jeep.
“I’m sorry I’m so jealous of May. She going to try and do something I know it,”
“It’s going to be ok,” He replied giving me another kiss.

Thank god, I had homework Thursday night it kept my mind off May and Shane. Friday night Amy, Jared and I went to the movies. Amy stayed the night with me. Jared stayed most of it also.
“Do you think I’m crazy for feeling this way,” I asked Amy
“No. I don’t’ trust her. She has been that way since I could remember. Thank god tonight was the last night they have to spend time together,”
“Tell me about it,” I shoved popcorn in my mouth Amy laughed at me.
Amy fell asleep during Armageddon. I couldn’t sleep. I called Shane cell phone
“Hey baby,”
“Hi,” I replied “I just wanted to hear you voice,”
“I’m glad you called. Our project is done May and I wouldn’t be hanging out anytime soon,” He replied
“I glad you guys are still friends,”
“No your not,” He joked
“I know. I’m sorry,’ I replied
“Don’t’ worry about it,” He replied.
“Good night,”
“Night,” He hung up.
Amy and I both worked the morning shift. Shane had to work until closing. Amy and I went shopping I couldn’t wait until tonight. I had him all to myself. I went home after shopping. I watched The Fast and the Furious Shane and I both have it memorized. I looked at my clock it was almost nine thirty. He should be here any moment. I went down to the kitchen to get a drink when I came back he was coming through my window.
“Hey,” I replied
“Hi” He smiled I walked over to him.
“I got you something,” He handed me a big a sack of red and orange gummy bears.
“Thank you,” I gave him a kiss. We walked to my bed we laid down he started kissing me again. His body was over me.

“I’m ready,” She whispered to me.
I looked at her “You and me,”
“Yeah,” She replied
“Is this because of May?” I asked her. She couldn’t look at me “I’m ok with us waiting. May and me are just friends that’s all,”
“I just feel like you much rather be with someone who is ready to have sex,’
“No. I want to be with you. If you want to wait until your marriage that’s fine with me,”
“Really,”
“Yeah, I like the way things are know. I don’t want things to change,”
“So your telling me if I was ready you wouldn’t’ jump my bones,”
“I would definitely be jumping your bones,” I smiled. I looked at her for a moment “When you’re ready we will make love” I brushed the hair out of her eyes
“Ok,” She gave me a kiss.


Monday came May was waiting by his locker.
“We have to talk,” May replied
“Ok,” He replied
“I got to catch up with Amy anyway. I’ll talk to you later, “I gave him a kiss good bye. I knew it wasn’t’ over. I went and found Amy. I had to vent to her she completely understood. I couldn’t’ wait to see Shane again. He wasn’t around all morning. He left school. I asked Jared before fourth he hadn’t seen him since this morning. I called his cell he wasn’t answering after school Amy, Jared and I went to his house. His jeep wasn’t there. We went and talked to his dad. His dad hadn’t seen him in days. It would be almost two days before he would appear again.
It was after midnight I haven’t slept or eaten since I saw Shane last. I was picking up my room that’s what I did under stress. I heard a knock on my window I knew it was him. I really didn’t want to answer it. At least I knew he was still alive. He knocked again. I walked over and unlocked my window. I didn’t move.
“God Shane I thought you were dead,” I said. The way he looked it looked like he was hit by a truck.
“I’m sorry, “He replied
“That’s all you have to say for yourself,”
He didn’t’ say anything else. By the look on his face, there was something deeper going on then his disappearance I stepped aside he came in the window He was shacking. He was soaked I took of his jacket. He looked up at me.
“Want to stay here?” I asked him
He nodded yes. He crawled in bed I covered him up. I laid beside him. He put his arms around me. I looked at him. He looked at me. The next morning when I woke up he was gone. When I got to school, Jared was waiting at my locker
“Have you seen Shane,” Jared asked
‘He stayed at my place last night but when I got up this morning he was gone,” I shut my locker.
“We need to talk,”
“Ok,’ I followed him into an empty class room. I set my books down
“You know what’s wrong don’t’ you?”
Jared stared at me. “I know Shane. His biggest fear right know is losing you,”
“What?”
“He wouldn’t admit it but after we talked last night he had that look in his face.”
‘Nothing could be that bad that I would stop loving Shane,”
He looked shock that I said I loved Shane. I was shocked myself. I never said aloud to anyone.
“I hope so,” He
“Jared you have to tell me what’s going on,” I replied, “I’m really scared,”
“I can’t I promised,” He walked closer to me. “Just promise me when you see Shane don’t freak out ok,”
I wanted to tell him I couldn’t promise him but I shook my head in agreement. I couldn’t concentrate on my studies. At lunch, I walked out to the yard. Amy and Jared were waiting for me. Jared stopped and looked out by one of the trees. Shane was standing there looking at us. I walked over to him He sat on the bench under the tree. I went over and sat by him. I put my arms around his. I looked at the ground. He couldn’t’ look me in the eyes.
“I want you to know what ever is going on I will always love you,’
He looked at me. His eyes were giving away more then he wanted them to.
“May’s pregnant,” He replied
I didn’t’ respond. He wanted nothing more then it not to be true.
“It’s going to be ok,” I tried not to sound scared. I was scared of what he was going to say next.
“I have to do the responsible thing,” He replied. That broke my heart. I knew what that met. He had to be with her.
“Are you going to marry her?” I asked. He just looked at me. He was going to marry her. I felt weak.
“I love you,” He replied. I got up. I can’t believe he was doing this. He’s going to marry May but telling me he loves me. How was I supposed to take it? I turned back around. He was standing behind me. I hugged him. I was crying I couldn’t’ help it. I was so mad and confused. I wanted to blame Shane and May but I couldn’t He was dating her before me.
“Good bye,’ I told Shane I walked away. He didn’t’ come after me. I waked over to Jared and Amy.
“Can you give me a ride home,” I asked Jared
“Yeah,” He replied. Jared and I walked to his car. We sat in the parking lot. I could not breathe.
“Jared,” I looked at him He leaned over and hugged me.
He left the parking lot. I couldn’t breath. I was hurting all over. I hated this feeling. Jared went through town I didn’t realize until a few minutes later. We ended up at the lake.
“He’s going to marry her,” I replied
“Yeah,” He didn’t’ look at me.
“I hate him for being responsible,” I replied. .
“Because of you he became responsible,” He replied
“Can I change him back,” I asked
“You can try, but I don’t’ think it will work,”
I got out of his car. I walked over to the beach area and sat down. Jared joined me.
“How can I hate and love him at the same time,” He put his arm around me. “I’m hurting really bad,” I started to cry. He pulled me closer. He took me home before he went back to school. He told me he would come by later. I went into the house of my room. I crawled into bed.

Days had passed since Shane told me. I still couldn’t face him. I was hopping I wouldn’t run into May. She and I usually don’t run into each other. I don’t’ know what I would do if she tried to approach me. I didn’t’ know if I would yell or start crying. My feelings keep going back and forth. I couldn’t do anything but go through the motions. I had to see Shane. Thank god he sat in front of me so I didn’t’ have to face him. I couldn’t’ talk to him with tearing up.

I woke up and decided to try to catch up on my homework. I opened my bag and took out my books. I was so mad. I started to through my books across the room. I saw pictures of Shane and me on my Romance wall. I went over and started pulling them off the wall. I didn’t’ know what else to do I fell to the floor in tears. I saw a pair of scissors I went over and picked them up. I looked at them. I just wanted to stab them through my heart and make the pain go away. I started running them across my wrist the pressure wasn’t hard enough to do anything. I started pushing harder I did it the harder it finally went through my wrist. . I didn’t’ hurt nearly as bad as I it though
‘What the hell are you going” Shane grabbed the scissors form hand. He looked at my wrists.
‘O my god,” He took off his shirt and wrapped it around my wrist I fell to the floor in tears. Shane held me.
“I can’t do this. I can’t,”
“I’m here,” He replied.
“No your not I’m not only loosing my best friend I’m loosing my soul mate,” I replied. I pushed him away “I love you so much. Seeing you hurts me so bad. I can’t breath. I can’t feel anything. Death is better then feeling this way,”
“I’m not letting you do that,” He replied
“You can’t stop me. You don’t have any say in my life anymore,”
“As your friend I do,” He replied
“Shane get out,”
“No I’m not leaving,”
“Fine,” I replied. I left my room. I couldn’t’ let my mom see me this. She wouldn’t understand. I got out the front door without anyone noticing. I got in my car and drove to my place. The place Shane and I found when we were driving around. It had a perfect view of the stars. I had to be alone What if I didn’t go back. I could run away and start a new life. I could get away from this. A few minutes I saw headlights if I was Shane I swear to god I will kill him myself. I turned around it was Jared and Amy. Great Shane had to get them involved. I didn’t’ want Jared to be involved. I got out of the car Jared walked toward me
“Shane called,” He replied
“He needs to leave me alone,” I replied
“I hate to tell you but you’re stuck with him,”
“No I’m not. He needs to get out of my life,”
He looked down at my hand. Shane told him. “Can I look at it?”
I showed him my wrist “Lets go to my house” Jared replied. I’ll drive you. He gave Amy the keys to his car we got into mine. He started the car the music started playing it was counting crows “Amy hit the Atmosphere,” by Counting Crow. He was listening to this CD when he kissed me. I ejected it and through it out the window
“Ok, then,” Jared replied
He pulled out of the parking lot. We followed Amy back to Jared’s we went into Jared living room thank god his parents were gone for the night. He went into this bathroom. Amy stayed out in the living room with me. Amy didn’t know what to say. I didn’t’ feel like talking anyway. Jared came back out. He had some peroxide and bandages. He sat down in front of me. He unwrapped Shane shirt. He put it behind him. The front door opened Jared little sister came in. She was the gossip queen of the freshman class.
“What’s going on,” She asked
“Katie leaves,” Jared replied
“No this is my house to”
“She fell and cut her self on some glass,” Amy replied, “Come on I needed help in the kitchen,” Katie and Amy walked out of the living room. Jared looked at my wrist.
“By the way the shirt looks it hasn’t stopped bleeding since it happened,”
“So,” I replied. He looked at me a little hurt. “Jared it’s not you,” I
“Why did you do this?”
“Because I want this felling to go away my heart feels like it’s broken into a million pieces. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t function,”
He didn’t’ say anything. He put the bandage on my wrist. “I want you to stay here tonight if the bleeding doesn’t stop I’m taking you to the hospital,” He replied I didn’t’ argue with him.
We went into the kitchen Amy and Katie were talking. I went and sat by Amy. I didn’t’ trust Katie. If she knew, anything that was going on it was going to go through the whole school. I heard Jared phone go off I knew it was Shane’s ring. He left the room. Amy gave me some hot tea
“Thanks,” I gave her a small smile.
I know Katie wanted to asked a hundred questions but she didn’t.

“How’s’ she doing,” Shane asked
“Honestly Shane I have no idea. She’s not talking much,”
“God what’s I’m going to do,’
“Nothing,” He blurted out “Let me figure out what to do,”
Shane didn’t’ say anything
“I’ll call you later,” He replied. He hung up the phone and went to the kitchen

Katie got a phone call she went into her room. Jared sat down in Katie’s spot Amy and him just started at me. If they think I was just going to start spilling my guts out right know there sorely mistaken. Katie alarm went off on her cell phone.

“I got to go,” Amy, replied
“I’ll walk you out,” I replied
Amy and I left the room. I walked her to my car. “I’ll picked it up tomorrow. I can’t leave her alone,”
“I know,” She gave me a kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow,”
I walked back into the kitchen Joss wasn’t there. I saw a shadow out back. He went out back she was sitting by the pool. I saw a glow. She was smoking. He grabbed it from her and put it out.
“You can’t and try to kill yourself twice in one night,” I sat down next to her.
“Jared I’m sorry your involved I didn’t’ want you dragged into this,’
“You two are my best friends of course I’m involved,’
“I don’t’ hate him,” She replied
“Ok,” I said “then what’s up,’
“I love him,” She replied. “I loved him since third grade,”
I didn’t respond. I wanted her to tell me everything. .
“I saw him date other girls. I saw him through his bad time and his good. I admired him from a distant I loved everything he was. I finally get a chance to be with him and know I’ll never know what it was really like to be with him”
“I’m sorry for that,” I replied
“I just want the pain in my heart to go away. I want to be able to move on,”
“It takes time,”
“Can I ask you some thing?”
“Sure,”
“When Amy’s around you to have trouble thinking or trouble breathing”
I didn’t’ answer
“I didn’t’ think so. I do. Before this every time Shane would walk into a room I couldn’t think. When he touched me, my knees became weak. I can’t feel that way I have to let him go so he can move on with out feeling guilty for his chooses,”
“Maybe he should,” I responded
“No. I’m not going to fight for him. He needs to do this for himself. He needs to become the parent he always wanted to be. He not going to be like his dad,”
“Are you sure this is what you want,”
“Yeah, Shane can’t know how I feel promise me that,”
‘I promise,”


It took me two weeks to be able to look Shane in the eyes. One day after school I got enough courage to talk to him, we got into his jeep.
“How are you doing?”
“Fine,” I replied
“Is there something I can do to help?”
I wanted him stop being responsible and run away with me. We will leave and never come back.
“I need this. I know someday we will be friends again but right know you have to be with May and I’m getting in the way so for know I have to let you go,”
“No I can’t. I need to be around you,”
“We have to get over each other so we can move on,”
“Is this what you really want?”
“No but it’s going to have to be,” I took his hand and kissed it. “Bye,” I got out of his jeep. I started walking home.
I stayed home for three days I told my mom I had the stomach flu. I felt like I did. Jared came over after school and checked on me. My mom came in
“Sorry, I didn’t’ know you had company,”
“It’s ok,” I replied
“Hi Mrs. Mead,”
“Hi Jared,” She put his hand on his shoulder.
“Emily called while you were sleeping. She going to be home on Saturday,”
“She says she has a huge surprise”
“Ok,” I replied
Mom left the room
“What I’m going to say to her. I had not mentioned anything about what going on. She my best friends and she knows nothing about my life,” I laid my head back down
“You’ll figure it out,” He replied

Saturday came they were having a welcome home party for her. Her family and friends were there I made Amy and Jared come with me. Emily and Jared were good friends. They use to live next door to each other. She showed up. She looked different she looked more mature and very happy. A young man followed her in. I didn’t’ recognize him. Her parents followed them in. All her relatives greeted her. I stayed in the back around. She made her way through the crowd
“Joss,” She screamed and ran towards me.
I gave her hug it was tighter then I planned. I was happy and scared to see her. She had a big smile on her face.
“I want you meet Matt,” A man who looked like he was around eighteen HE had short blond hair and he was few inches taller then me. She looked a little heavy but muscular. “Matt this is Joss,”
“Hi I feel like I already know you. She talks about you all the time,”
“I can say the same about you,” I smiled.
People started gathering around her again I stepped back. Jared, Amy and I went out back. Why was everyone happy but me? I couldn’t get over it. I really want to go. I wasn’t happy I didn’t’ want to pretend I was. I missed Emily but I have a feeling our relationship wouldn’t’ be the same. The back door opened. Emily clasped next to me.
“God,” She replied
“How’s it going?”
“Good,” She smiled. “I wish my relatives would leave so we can catch up on thing,”
“Maybe tomorrow,” I smiled. Why did I say that? I want’ in the mood to talk about things not even to Emily. Jared had become the person I confided in.
“Defiantly,” She replied “But there something I have to tell you today,”
She took her necklace out from under her shirt there was a wedding ring on it.
“Matt and I got married before we came back,’
“O my god,” I replied
“Be happy for me. I’m so happy,” She smiled
“I am,” I gave her hug. “Only my parents know,”
“Wow,” I was defiantly in shock. Emily was married. When she left she was scared of boys and know she someone wife.
Matt knocked on the back door and motioned for Emily to come in
“I’ll talk to you later,” She gave me a hug
“Ok,” I smiled. Inside I was screaming.

Monday was when teachers started going over reviews for our finals. At lunch, I went and sat buy Amy and Jared. Shane was sitting with May. She was happy. I could tell Shane didn’t’ want to be there.
“Do you know when they are getting married,’ I asked
“The weekend after school gets out,” Amy replied.
I knew Amy and Jared were going to go. I would go but it would hurt. After lunch, I went to the restroom to splash some water on my face. I had to concentrate. I walked in there was some girls talking as soon as they saw me they shut up. Then a few seconds later, they were talking again
“Anyway May is also sleeping with Max Martin,”
I froze.
“She telling Shane she pregnant to keep him”
“O my god,” I whispered
I walked over to them. The stopped talking
“Do you mind,” A freshman said in a very snotty attitude
“Tell me about Amy and Shane,” I replied
“Why would I,” She asked “I swear to god if you don’t’ tell me I’ll tell everyone you were caught making out with your brother in the janitors closet,”
“I don’t’ have a brother,” She replied
“Trust me people wouldn’t care,” I replied
“Fine,” She replied
“Come with me,”
The other girls left. We walked to the admission office
“You’re going to turn me in?”
“No wait here,” I replied I saw Amy working on some paper work. I got her attention. She walked out into the hall. She was surprise to see a freshman
“Brandi”
“Hey Amy,” She popped her gum
“How do you know each other?”
“One of Katie’s friends,”
“Go figure,” I mumbled to myself.
“What’s going on,”
”We need to talk,’ I replied. “The bio labs open this hour’ the freshman replied popping her gum again that was getting annoying. We walked into the bio lab
“Tell me what you heard,”
"I heard this from a reliable source,”
“Katie,” Amy and I said at the same time.
“Yeah,” She replied “Anyway,” She rolled her eyes.
“That May Grosse is still seeing Max Martin and she not really pregnant she going to say she had a miss carriage after her and Shane are married,”
“It doesn’t make sense,” Amy was sitting on one of the tables. “Why would May do that,” She asked me
“She doesn’t really want Shane but she doesn’t want anyone else to have him,” He freshman replied. “I heard she still gong to see Max behind Shane’s back when their married,”
“We have to find out if this is true,” I replied
“We need to talk to Katie,” Amy replied She left the room.
“What do I get out of this,” The freshman replied playing with her hair
“Have you heard the song 'Break Stuff' by Limp Bizkit?”
“Yeah,” She replied looking at me
“I’m feeling that way, get it,”
“You need some major pills,”
I turned and walked to other side of the room. The door opened I jumped I was hoping it wasn’t a teacher. It was Amy and Katie followed her in.
“What’s going on,” She looked at the freshman.
“You tell us,’ Amy replied. Katie went and sat by ‘the freshman’.
“I told them about Max, Shane, and May,” She replied She popped her gum in Katie’s face.
“Get that away from me,” She rolled her eyes and looked at Amy and me.
“Why didn’t you tell Jared,” Amy asked, “Shane is like an older brother to you,”
“I have my reasons,’ she looked at me
“Come on Katie,” Amy looked at her.
“Fine,” She glared at me.
I knew exactly what she was mad at but I couldn’t think about it now. I’ll talk to her about it later.
“I was in the girls room no one knew I was there I heard two girls walk in. They started talking about Shane. It was the middle of class. They didn’t think anyone was around. I heard May tell the one of her friends that she told Shane she was pregnant. Then she said that Shane was going to do the right thing by marring her. Then the other asked if she as pregnant she said no. Then the girl asked she was going to dump Max. She said no. She said Shane was her little project. She would change Shane make him the perfect husband,”
“Come on we have to find Shane,”
“No,’ Amy replied, “Lets talk to Jared first.”
The bell rang for sixth period to get out. “I’ll go find him. Meet us in the chem. Lab.
“Ok,” I replied
“We went out to the, the hall was we blended in with the rest of the crowed we made our way to the second floor to the old chem. Lab. The rest of the students were leaving we waited outside for the teacher to leave. We went inside a few seconds later the bell rang. The door opened it was Amy and Jared.
He was shocked to see all three of us
“Katie?” She didn’t look at him.
“What’s going on,” She looked at Amy.
“May is playing Shane,” I replied
“What,”
”She not really pregnant,” Amy replied
“What. "How did you know?” He asked Amy and me both. We looked at Katie.
“You knew and you didn’t’ tell me,” Jared replied
“I’m sorry,” She was almost in tears.
“We have to find out if it’s true," I replied
“How,” Amy asked.
Katie looked out the window. “She meets him under the bleachers at three fifteen before he goes to practice. I’ve caught them there before,”
“Was it that day you met Kyle under the bleachers,” the freshman replied Jared got a worried look on his face.
“We are going to talk about that later,” Jared replied to Katie. The older brother thing kicked in.
“I don’t’ know if I can do that to Shane. Make him go through something like that,” I replied
Jared walked over to me. “Today we will see if it’s true and the will figure out what to do,”
“Ok,” I replied
Amy had to get back to the office before they start realizing she was missing. I had to get Algebra if I didn’t go to the review I was totally screwed. Jared had to get to the gym. I went into the class the teacher looked up.
“Nice of you to join us Ms. Mead,” I was a little embarrassed I went and sat down. I was anxious all period thank god he was handing out review sheets. I was acting like I was taking notes but I was drawing the bell rand I found Jared. He was at his locker. He told me to meet him outback at three. I agreed. I went to my last class. Shane is suppose to be there but he wasn’t I’m glad I didn’t’ know if I could be face him. I tried to concentrate but I couldn’t a little over an hour things are gong to be completely different. The bell rang at three o clock. I hurried out of the class. I made my way through crowed I didn't bother to go to my locker and put my books. I went out back bunches of people were out back. Most of them were jocks. Baseball practice was going to start at three thirty.
“You ready,” Jared asked
“Yeah” I replied
Amy, Jared and I waited until three fifteen. We walked over to the bleachers. Katie showed up. We heard two people talking. One of them started laughing it was May. Jared was going to walk under the bleacher. I stopped him I walked in front of him. I saw May and Max kissing.
“I knew it,” I replied. May jumped she tuned around. She couldn’t’ say anything. Max just looked at us he knew she was going to Marry Shane he didn’t seem to care.
I wanted to hit her so bad Jared saw that
“Come on Joss,’ He took my arm. We walked away without saying anything. In my heart, I was happy but in my mind, I was mad and sad. I was mad that May would do that to Shane. I was mad that she would hurt someone like that. She acted all innocent but she wasn’t.
I went to Jared house. Jared, Amy, and I talked about the best way to tell him. I knew I better not he might think I was making it up to get back at him.
“I want to tell him,” A voice replied I looked over my shoulder. Katie was standing in the doorway to Jared room.
“Ok,’ I replied. If there was, only one other person he trusted was Katie. Katie and Jared were like family to him. Katie came and sat beside me.

When I got home that night, I sat on my bed and strayed at my books but I could read one sentence. The door flew open it was Emily.
“What the hell going on,” She asked
I could lie to her she known me my whole life.
“Sit,” I motioned to my bed she sat across from me. I spilled my guts to her I told her everything that happen to me since she left. It kept talking she didn’t say anything. She let me vent. When I was done, there was silence. I gave her a few minutes to digest the story
“I can’t believe you waited till know to tell me,”
“I’m sorry I wanted to tell you but you were so happy. I was going to tell you but then you told me you were married and that wasn’t he right time,”
“Joss I’m your best friends you could have told me anytime,’
“I promise from know on I will tell you everything,”
“Ok,’ she smiled. “Now tell me what going to happen?”
“I have know idea,” I replied.
I looked at the clock hours had passed. Emily actually saved from going insane.
“Do you want to have an all night fest?” She asked
“I would like that,”
Emily went home to talk to Matt then she was going to stop and get some junk food. I was reading James Joyce Ulysses while she was gone. I started reading the book after Shane gave me a copy. After I found out about May, I couldn’t concentrate. I opened the book a picture fell out of it, it was a picture of Shane me in forth grade. He was smiling at me. I was smiling back I never knew this picture existed
Emily came in. She set a sack on my bed. I put pushed play on the DVD player. Armageddon seemed like the best movie to watch. Ben Affleck would keep my mind off him but then my mind wondered. I remember the night Michael and I were playing Five minutes in a elevator. It was a list of people who if you were stuck in the elevator you had permission to kiss them even if you were dating someone else or married. One of my people was Ben Affleck. I also choose JC Chasez, Shane West, Brendan Fehr and Shane. He was shocked at the last one. Out off the famous people in the world I would choose him. That was when we were friends. That rather broke the boundary of our friendship.
“You ok,” I Emily asked
“Yeah,” I snapped out of my daze.
“I focused on the movie,” Emily fell asleep before it was over I was beyond tried but my mind was wondering it wouldn’t let me rest. I sat at my desk and turned on my computer. I opened a window document. I just started writing what I felt. I looked at my clock it was almost six. Emily woke up and looked around
“Did you even sleep?”
“No,” I replied
“Calls for some major coffee,” Emily got up. I got dressed and we went to the coffee shop. We didn’t talk much but I couldn’t say anything. She didn’t mind. We stayed in the coffee shop until school was about to start. I went to school I didn’t’ know when Katie was going to tell him. I was hopping it was soon. I found Jared. I asked him if he saw Katie. He told she left before he got up. I went to class Shane was actually there. I didn’t’ act anything changed. I said hi to him. It looked like everything was ok so far. I went through the day without trying to loose it. I ran into Katie in the hall. She stopped me.
“Will you come with me?" She asked
“Sure,” I replied. We walked up to Shane. He was surprise to see Katie and me together
“I have to talk to you,” Katie replied
“Ok,” He replied. He followed us to the parking lot. I sat done on a bench. I wanted to be there incase she needed me but she wanted to talk to him.

“What’s going on Katie,” Shane asked
“It’s something I heard,” Katie replied
“Ok,” Katie and I continued to walk
“I over heard May and one of her friends talking,”
“About what,”
“Shane I don’t’ want to hurt you but it’s really important that you know,’
‘Know what Katie,”
“May is not pregnant and she is still seeing Max,”
“Who,’
“Shane,”
He stared walking toward me. Katie ran after him.
“Is it true?” He asked me
“Yes,” I replied
Shane walked passed me into the school. The bell rang. Eighth period got out.
“Katie go get Jared,” I replied
She took off down the senior hall. I caught up with Shane.
“Shane don’t’ do this wait until,”
“Wait until what she ruined our lives. I was going to marry her,”
He ran into one May friends I was hopping she didn’t know where she was buts he did she led him right to her meeting spot with Max. I followed him
“Wait,” A voice, replied it was Jared. Amy and Katie were running after him. It caused students to look.
He stopped and looked at me. “Please Shane don’t,” I replied He walked to the bleachers. Some the students started gathering He saw Max and May.
“Hey,” He replied Jared was standing by him.
“Shane,” She replied shocked to see him. May didn’t have an explanation for him. She just stood there.
“I gave up my life for you and the baby. I can’t believe you,” He was so mad I’ve only seen him mad like this one other time and that was when someone was picking on Katie. He couldn’t take it. He started walking away May was going to follow him.
“Don’t even,” I replied
“Get out of my way Bitch,” She replied “You couldn’t’ stand it could you,”
“I had nothing to do with it you did it to yourself,”
She tried to hit me. I caught her had. “Try that again and I swear to god you will end up in the hospital,” I push her away. The crowed started clapping. I got through the crowd. I ran to the parking lot Shane was getting into the jeep
“Shane. Wait,” I replied I grabbed his arm so he couldn’t take off
“I’m so stupid,’
“No your not. You are the best person I know,” I looked at him
“I’m so sorry,” HE started crying. He hugged him
“It’s over,” I replied. “We are going to be ok,” I replied
“We,” He said
“Yeah, I wiped the tears from his eyes He smiled at me
I saw Katie, Jared and Amy walk out of the school.
“You need to go talk to Katie,” I replied
“Why,” He asked me
“Trust me,” I took his keys. He got out of his jeep. He waked over to Katie. Jared and Amy walked over to me.
“Is he going to be ok,” Amy asked
“Yeah I think so,” Max replied
“I still can’t believe it,” Amy replied putting her arms around Max
“Me neither,”
“Yeah,” I watched Katie and Shane

Katie and I sat down
“Why didn’t tell me earlier,” I asked
“I’m sorry. I was mad and jealous,”
“Jealous?”
“Of Joss, She was your world. At one time I was your world,”
“Katie you will always be part of my life,”
“I see the way you looked at Joss. I was mad because I wanted you to look at me the same way, “
“Katie I’m not in love with you like that but I do love you. I promise that will not change,”
She didn’t’ say anything. Come on Katie I couldn’t stand if you weren’t in my life. I need you in my life,”
She didn’t’ say anything she just gave him hugs. He didn’t’ know if everything was ok between them but hopefully one day it will be
“If I don’t’ say enough hit me,”
“Ok,” She smiled. “I’m really sorry about May,”
“I’m going to tell you a little secret I’m not. I’m in love with someone” He looked at Joss.
Katie stood up. Shane put his arm around her neck She put his arm around her neck. She put he arm around her waist they walked back to the jeep. He walked over to me and kissed me.
“I love you,” He replied
“I love you,”
“Enough with mushy stuff,” Katie replied
“I need sugar,” I replied,
“Meet us at the café,” Shane replied to Jared and Amy
Jared, Amy and Katie started walking to Jared car
“Hey Katie ride with us,” I replied
She smiled and walked over to us. She got into the back to the jeep. . We took off out of the parking lot. I took his hand.


Later that night I was in room. Emily was over I told her what happened I couldn’t’ help but glow. I was happy. Emily could tell. I sat down on my bed.
“You have company,” She looked over my shoulder. Shane was at my window
“I’m going to go,” Emily, replied She left the room I opened my window. Shane held out his hand. I took it he helped me out on the roof. It was a perfect night in more ways then one. He sat down I sat down beside him.
“I have a question for you,”
“Ok,” I replied
“After you graduate will you do something for me?”
“Sure,”
“Will you become my wife,” He asked
I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t’ know what to say. He pulled a box out of his pocket
“I bought the ring before I found out about May,” I wanted to give it to as a friendship ring,” He opened the box. It was a silver band. It had two hands holding hearts all around it

“When you wear it on you right hand with the crowns toward you it means heart is yet occupied He pulled the ring out, “That was when I bought it as a friendship ring. When the ring is worn right hand with the crowns outward show a special commitment to someone I hopping it would be me. If you wear the ring or your left hand with the crown outward ‘let our love and friendship reign forever and never be separated’”
“Ok,” I smiled “He put the ring on my left hand with the crown out. The heart facing in,’
“My mom told me that if I ever loved a girl that this is the ring I should give her,”
“She’s a smart woman,”
“Yeah,” He smiled. “She told me that if I gave a ring like this to someone she would fall head over heal in love with me,’
“I was already in love with you,”
“Good,’ He gave me a kiss.