Freshman Year

I’ve always been almost Miss Perfect. I was a straight A student, all the teachers loved me, and all the friends I could want. Except I was over weight that was always a big factor in everything I did. I felt like I wasn’t as good as my friends because I could get the attention from teachers and adults about my wonderful job or wonderful manners, but I couldn’t really get what I wanted that my friends had and that was what every thirteen year old girl wants, attention from the guys. My friends were also straight A students and well liked by most teachers. Although they were never quiet as liked by the teachers as me and their grades were never quiet as high as mine.

My freshman year started out good. I had lost about forty pounds and I had started to look decent. I went into the year with three best friends. Monica was funny and always good for a laugh. You could always count on her to be there for you to talk to. She seemed to understand me more so than any of my other friends. Kellie and Kellsie were my two other best friends. They were twins and of course they were my friend but they always came first to each other, which is totally understandable. But I loved those girls to death and I thought we would be friends for a long time.

Kellsie was my best friend of all. We got really close when we both became cheerleaders. Kellie and Monica were basketball players but me and Kellsie we wanted to try something new our freshman year because neither of us was actually good at basketball like Kellie and Monica were. We tried playing it our seventh and eighth grade year but we just didn’t have any fun. I was the first to come up with the idea to go out for cheerleading. One of our other friends, Alanna, was already a cheerleader. I practiced for weeks with Alanna to get ready for try-outs. Kellsie became interested in it and I asked her to try-out with me and she was all for it. So we tried out and Alanna got head cheerleader, just as she had the year before, and I got Co-Head cheerleader. Kellsie ranked fourth and we were ecstatic that we had made the squad. Especially me since this was something I had secretly wanted since I was very little. Now I had everything I could possibly want. I was doing great in school just as always, I was skinnier now, and I was Co-Head cheerleader.

The four of us had a perfect friendship, except one little bump in the road. I was dating Kellsie’s ex-boyfriend, Rikki. Rikki and I had dated all summer, after I of course got permission from Kellsie. He was my first serious boyfriend. We were together almost everyday during the summer and the days we weren’t we were on the phone. He meant a lot to me. He was the first guy to tell me he loved me. He was also the first guy to ever kiss me, a real kiss. But he also made me realize that I wasn’t as much like my friends as I thought. He convinced me that he loved me and I trusted him. That is why I gave into him.

One night on one of our dates we were making out, which wasn’t something out of the ordinary. But then he put his hand up my shirt and got a feel of me. I trusted him so I let him do it. I was enticed that someone would even want to do things like that to me, and it felt nice. He did this to me about three times but the last two times he took it a little further. Those times he didn’t just use his hands, he brought his mouth into it. Our last date before we broke up, he touched me in a way that made me very uncomfortable but, I liked it a little in the same way. I was completely confused at all of these feelings. He was pushing things a little too fast. But I wasn’t going to have to worry about that because not long after that date I found out he had been cheating on me for weeks. We broke up needless to say. It was a rough break up and he called me for weeks after our break up wanting to get back together. But I couldn’t do it as much as I wanted to because he had lied to me so much and he had even went out with that girl the night after we broke up and he was with her the night we broke up.

But all during my relationship with Rikki, my relationship with the twins had changed. Their dad had gotten a girlfriend and she had three kids, one boy and two girls. Months after her dad and Angela, his girlfriend, met they got married. And Cody, Kala, and Candice, her children, moved in with Kellie and Kellsie. They started going to our school and now Kellie and Kellsie had new best friends. Now it was just me and Monica.

This strengthened mine and Monica’s friendship, because we were more there for each other now than ever before. She was dating a guy named Zac and I started hanging out with one of our guy friends, Justin. Zac and Justin were good friends so everything was great we could all hang out together and have lots of fun.

One night we were suppose to hang out at Zac’s house. But first Monica had basketball practice, so I stayed after school while she had her practiced. I hung out with one of our other guy friends, Jesse. Me and Jesse have always been close. That night we were flirting outside and he kissed me. Him and Justin were best friends and I had a date with Justin that night, which complicated things. But it wasn’t too complicated because Jesse just wanted that kiss and it was nice for me too since I had feelings for Jesse at that time. We agreed it would be best if Justin never found out about it. So Monica, Zac, Justin, and I all hung out at Zac’s that night. When my mom came to pick us up she picked on Monica about what she and Zac had been doing. My mom always picks on Monica and Monica always picks back and neither of them mean anything by what they say it’s all just jokes. Well Monica got upset about it and didn’t tell me but after that she didn’t want to me friends anymore.

That was the start to my troubles. I had lost Monica but there was still Kellie and Kellsie. They were still my friends, it just wasn’t the same anymore. But I couldn’t be picky about everything considering I didn’t have many friends left.

But another mistake I made was trusting Justin. I told him how I felt about Kellsie just leaving me because she had new sisters now. And after I turned down Justin, because I had feelings for Jesse, he told Kellsie everything I said. He even added a little to make it more upsetting for us all. Kellie and Kellise stopped being my friends after that too. Now I had no one left.

At school everyone ignored me, and rumors flew around about me because of things Rikki had spread about me and also from the truth, which I had trusted Justin with and he took total advantage of my trust and had told everyone about me and Rikki.

I got used to everyone ignoring me and being mean to me. And then finally Christmas break came and I couldn’t have been happier to get a break away from everyone and everything. During the time that everyone had been ignoring me I became friends with a guy from our rival school. His name was Aaron. He was gorgeous. He even mentioned to me that we might go on a date sometime. He was a senior and wasn’t really into having a girlfriend that was only a freshman but he said that he would mess around with a freshman. He was a player and I knew it. But I had done been cheated on and lied to so at least this way I would know up front about what was going on.

I had also made one really good friend. His name was Tony. He was a freshman in college and had just previously graduated from my school the year before. He was really funny and easy to talk to and we instantly became friends. He had a crush on Kellie and Kellsie’s step sister Kala. He talked to me about her and I told him all about Aaron. But the more we talked and after weeks on long night chats I began to have feelings for Tony. He was so easy to talk to and I could tell him anything. He was so nice and he always made me feel better and could always cheer me up with some kind of joke. And we talked to each other in such ways that I had never talked to anyone before, as if everything was a inside joke to us.

I knew I shouldn’t like him for several reasons. He liked Kala. He had previously went out with one of my friends, one of those unique people that had stuck around, Anna. I really didn’t need another person hating me since I had very few that even liked me. He was eighteen and I was fifteen. He was a freshman in college and I was a freshman in high school. And I knew I could never have a chance with him. But I couldn’t help my feelings for him. All I thought about was him. And I wanted to talk to him all the time. But I had to make myself get over him.

Christmas day came and I went to eat with my family. My two cousins went to the same school as Aaron. My cousin Eric and him were actually good friends. He even told me that Aaron told him he wanted to date me. This was just the news I needed.

I went home that night and talked to Tony and I told him all about the great news about Aaron. He agreed that that was great news but that was all he said. This was very unusual for Tony who always had something to say. I told Alanna who knew about my feelings for Aaron and for Tony. She told me I should not have told Tony about it. Because she thought there was a chance that Tony might like me. I went crazy. Omigosh was it actually possible that Tony could like me? No, that was crazy!

I also talked to Rikki that night for the first time in months. He told me he was still in love with me and asked did I still like him too. I told Alanna and she told me I should tell me that I was dating someone. So I did. He went crazy! After that he wrote this crazy thing about how he was going to die. It scared me to death! If he died it would be my fault. I should have never told him! He told me that one day I would find out how bad he needed me to be there for him. I was so scared that day was approaching quickly after I had read what he wrote.

No, I was not going to let Rikki get to me! He was not going to make me think I was at fault about anything concerning me and him. He had dated plenty of girls since our break up and it had now been five months and I was finally moving on and I was not going to let him make me feel guilty. I was hoping that what he wrote was only to scare me into not dating this guy. And it was not going to work! I was going to date Aaron or whoever I pleased and he was not going to stop me.

To sum up my freshman year in one word. Long. It was excruciatingly long. But I made it through. I think I’m stronger because of it. I learned to never not take the time to appreciate something good when u have it. I had good friendships that I lost and some weird relationships that were all good for me for some reasons or another. I’ll be starting my sophomore year in a few months. I wonder what is in store for me next.