Old Pain

Holding onto the old pain,
Not knowing how to let it go.
Just a girl,
Trying to be a woman,
Trying to be strong,
To be an adult.

Is she too hard on herself?
Or has she been right all along?
The feelings of herself haven’t changed
The actions haven’t changed much either
Married guy this,
Guy with a girlfriend that-
Everything is unattainable

I look to God
To try to find the Light,
To fill the emptiness inside me.
No more alcohol,
No more drugs,
Just cigarettes, coffee and sex
But none of the above are ever enough.

I know the problem-
It’s me.
I have traveled all over the world
Her Light I have been trying to see.
But, still all I am left with is me

She is getting stronger though
She knows that it’s all old pain
She doesn’t have to be the heart broken, lost 14-year-old girl.
She can move forward into her own Light.
Listening to herself,
Her inner voice,
Knowing her own truth.

Traveling the road less traveled
Isn’t always the easier, softer way
But, it’s my way
Even if I have to travel it alone…