Where will I end?

My life is such a tragedy
That I can't seem to find a remedy
For the towering problems in front of me

Everyday I pray and try to make a new beginning
But somewhere I get lost and lose everything
Just to make it seem that my life is a tragedy

Maybe its my past that is bothering me
I try so hard to let it go from me
But the reins of the past clutch me tight
The horrors and the unforsaken times
Keeps me awake day and night

My love keeps sayin, dump the past
Look ahead and see the light
I am trying hard but can't see even a spark
That can light me up and give my life back

I have tried so hard or have I not
I can't seem to figure that out
I am going in for a heartbreak
Seeing the future so bleak
I have lost the fire inside me
To fight anymore battles and see
I am losing my sanity and balance
The calmness in me has died
And the harsh reality has presided

I can feel getting succumbed
To my mental delusions and transported
To a deviant life, known as crazy and weird
Will I end up as just another lunatic
Fighting all my life in a deserted retreat
The world oblvious to my existence
Of my needs, wants and desires

I don't know which door to knock
Which route to take
Can someone hear me and help me out
For a new beginning and fresh start

I want to see the beauty of the rose
And watch the falling dew drops
Will it remain as a desperate hope
Or some magic will happen
And help me cope
To bring life into my forfeited soul
And the zest to live with a whole new goal!!!