Living it up!

It was one of those regular parties that saw everyone in good spirits. Loud music, cool drinks and friendly banter struck the right mood. He had entered in an unusually jaunty mood that evening, quite unlike his usual self. The reserved, quiet demeanour was nowhere in sight. And he was perhaps the only one who danced till late that night.
But, as the evening grew darker and the tone of the party became more sombre, he spoke to me about all that had silently passed in his life over the last few days.
He told me he couldn’t keep up with the memories of his past any longer. He had tried to rid himself of them but they latched onto him like leeches. He said he had grown tired. He was exhausted from running away all the time. He was angry and wanted to beat the leeches at their own game. So, before they could suck his blood, he reached for the blade his sister had carelessly left lying on the desk...
I sat there listening to all that he was saying. I could feel my brows twitch into a frown; my teeth clench; the cold glass slip from my grip. He was about to do it. My friend was about to kill himself!
I pictured him in an empty house, alone and scared, tears streaming down his cheeks. But then, he didn’t do it. What made him turn back? I had never known him to be afraid of anything. My friend had the answer to everything. But, if today he was scared of taking that final leap, I couldn’t have been more proud of him.
His family walked into the house at that point. And he couldn’t do it. Not because he’d get caught. But, because he saw them smile. They came into the room talking, his mother looking tired, his younger brothers fighting, and his father on the brink of punishing them... Everybody seemed to be speaking at the same time. Heaven knows who was listening to whom! Suddenly the house seemed to glow with joy and warmth. He looked around. Each wall and each painting that hung from it had a story of its own. There were incidents and memories all over. Birthday parties, anniversaries, dinners that lasted late into the night, pillow fights and so much more. It bound them together forever. And then there were events that left a void in their lives- the death of his grandfather, his father stranded in office during the riots...
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kill himself, because it suddenly hit him, he had to live for them...with them. He had to stay on to see where life would take him. He had to create more memories. Memories that may frighten him once again like they did today, but then they would become experiences that would teach him lessons like the one he’d learnt today.
It was that night, when I looked up at my friend and admired him for who he really was. He really was as strong as I thought him to be.
The past is immaterial. It’s like the silk cloth that refuses to stay within your palms. Everytime you try to hold onto it, it slips away leaving behind a tingling sensation, which eventually dies down.
Why try to hold onto that which has perished? Letting go is the hardest thing a human has to do but one of the most important as well. Each minute spent in thinking about that which once was, is each minute lost in thinking about that which might have been. It is each minute dead.
‘Kill the unhappy memories...not yourself’, he told me.
My teacher once told us, it is always easier to recount sad moments than happy ones. How true! And yet, how sad.
Life seems to be divided into three parts, the past, present and the future. To run away from the past is to deny the present and push aside the future. To be afraid of the dark is to hide from the light. To see with your pupils is to distrust your heart. To try and escape death is to fear the unknown. And to try and kill oneself... is to miss out on life.
Life. That which includes emotion that breathes in our very skin. Emotions that transcend worlds and unite races.
We sat together counting our blessings and listing everything that made us happy, that night. We found too many things to be happy about and just a few things in comparison that caused despair.
And through this process, we noticed a difference between being happy and being sad. Happiness manifested itself in countless ways, reinventing itself each time. Love made us happy. And strangely enough so did the sacrifice of life for the sake of a loved one.
Whereas, distress made its way into our list in the same repetitive manner- loneliness, frustration, confusion, physical pain... The funny thing was, each item on our “sad list” had its antidote. Loneliness had friendship. It brought a smile accompanied by trust. Frustration had honest communication. It brought along relief. Confusion had a patient listening ear. This brought along solutions. Physical pain had compassion and an understanding of others. All of it made us happy. Every dispiriting emotion became a drop of elixir.
It was a warm night. But, a frill of cool breeze floated indoors for a fleeting moment. Everyone was too preoccupied to notice this. But, we did. We could feel the pleasant air and smiled. We knew this was happiness- this precise moment that was shared by the two of us and internalised to remain in our hearts forever. We were sitting by the window, feeling joy from within just to be living and experiencing LIFE. And, together we created an everlasting happy memory.
So now, when anybody I know feels deranged and depressed all I can say to him or her is this, “ Life is a four- letter word and happiness is a nine-letter one. So as you can see, Life is short. Happiness is vast...immense. Try to squeeze in as much of it into life as possible.”
Live it up! Things may get hard, situations and people may let you down. But there will always be something to look forward to. Every road has its destination and we owe it to life to reach that place. Stop at the bifurcations; spend sometime with those you meet there. Take them along on your journey. And, if they want to be stay behind, let them. They have another road to follow. But, never dismiss your heart, mind and soul from experiencing that for which they were born- life, love and laughter.