The System

The System

Turns out I am part of a system.
A system of pain
A system of lust
A system of mind rape
Thought I was escaping it
Guess I fell right into it
Must have been when I was busy
looking at the cute guy in the corner.
I wore morals as a badge of honor
The line I drew was so thick
and black even a blind man could see it.
The line got thinner as I got older.
No longer black, but chalk instead
fading with each step taken
I thought I was unique
Seems everyone owns capital in
that these days
I told my sad story and someone
had one filled with more melancholy.
I was ashamed that my life was not
blanketed in misery only
a weekly bathing in comparison.
When did sex become a game?
When did I start playing it?
My first love was so innocent and pure,
but after that sex was just something to do
when there was nothing on t.v.
Now every time I mention to some guy that
sex is not the beginning of a relationship
he looks at me like I have just landed on this planet.
Suddenly I am alien
suddenly I want to fit in
I play the game without knowing it and only losers win.
Every day I'm brainwashed into believing
that money will buy me happiness.
I horde as many material possession
as I can but the cost of a smile
appears to be increasing, subject to inflation. Every item obtained another is required.
It is a feast for the eyes that never really reaches the heart.
I am embracing the system unknowingly
Unwillingly
Falling into its pits
Swimming in it
I struggle to keep my head afloat
but with each flailing of the arms
I begin to sink deeper.
Deeper into the system.