Vada

The singing birds, how i loved to wake every morning to their glorious song. The mornings were so crisp and tender then, filled with so many wonderful possibilities. I was of the age to be a princess, the age to have an innoscent love for everyone and everything, and I did. I loved the day, and all the splendor it would bring with it. As I would slip one eye open I would soak in all the beauty that billowed outside my bedroom window, and kindly ask the other eye to join us. I was in love with the day, so in love in fact that i would risk my life just to experience its glorious moment. I have said that to tell you this, my story, my choice.

It was a senescent spring, the air of summer seemed to be latent in the brush and I was happy be a witness to the magnificence of such a beautiful day of mixed seasons. It was cool and the breeze felt like a gentle brush from a silk hand. I had been playing in the open field across from my mothers garden all day, celebrating the simplicity of my childhood, and what better way than with a sportful game of hide and seek. I was it as usual, my brothers always managed to make me the last potato and I was to dim witted to call them on they're con. It was mid-day, the sun sat high on the clouds as I pressed up against the giant oak tree that rested at the entrance of the field, I had my eyes closed and my head cuddled in my arms. I could hear the two of them laughing as they began to fade into the distance

One one-thousand

Two one-thousand

Three one-thousand

I counted on until at last i got to ten one-thousand and whirled around to face my brothers in the infinite field. It was empty, not a soul in sight. The sky was now inravled in thick gray clouds as if they had conquered the sky. I was puzzled at first, left to wonder how the blue sky and my brothers had disappeared that quickly.

"David! June!" I howled out, but the strong wind drowned my shallow voice.

The grass rippled like ocean waters as the wind fondled it. I was still holding on to the oak tree, grasping the bark and sap.

"David! June! Where are you guys?!"
Nothing.

Finally I released the tree and left its security, carefully pushing the thorns aside as I moved on through the bushes and into the field. The eerie silence seemed to beckon me, as though the vast absents of life was sucking me in. "This isn't funny!" I declared, but my anger was no match for the whistling wind around me. I felt something there, at the entrance of that great field, something unearthly. Though everything about it spelled trouble, I proceeded into the field and its daunting emptiness. "Guys come on your starting to freak me out!" I yelled as I struggled to walk against the violent wind. "Guys!" Everytime I would fight it the air would thicken and the wind would grow more bitter. Before long I was halted by it, unable to take another step, my own thoughts were clouded by the deafening sound it surrounded me with. As i lost my balance and fell onto my knees, i felt a warm air circling above me.

"Vada, Vada can you hear me?"
I could, even through the booming noise I could hear the distinct voice perfectly. I tried to face my guest but couldn't see anyone in the whole circumference of the field. "Who's there?!" I queried, looking around the hazy field in vane.

"Vada, do no be afraid, there is no reason to be afraid."

"Where are you? Where are my brothers?"

"They are gone Vada, It is only you and I" She said in a commanding tone, sending chills down my back. I desperately searched the distance of my sight, the strong and bitter wind burning my eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Just to see you one last time, Im sorry I caused you all this pain, I wish I could take it back." She replied in a soft spoken manner, almost like she was weeping. I sat there, letting the words run through my head, the voice was so familiar.

"I don't understand."

"Vada, don't go into 322, just please, what ever you do don't go in there."

"What's 322?" I asked but the voice had taken an oath of silence, atleast for a brief moment.

"Your as beautiful now as ever, I will always love you Vada, good-bye."

The warmth began to deplete and the wind recede, before long I was alone again, the grass bending beneath me. My senses felt numb at first as I tried to stand on my feet. The sky above was enriched with a deep blue and the wind was no more than a sensual breeze. I looked around the open field, no sign of anyone's prior presents. The thought was wet in my mind, who was that? Was it an angel? I dabbled in these thoughts and then another voice interrupted.

"Vada, Vada where are you?!"

I recognized the voice as belonging to June, It was coming from a short distance. As I followed the voice I spotted two silhouettes resting by the giant oak, It was June and David. Tired and confused, I brushed myself off and went running to the oak tree. Across the bushes I could see June pacing back and forth and David sitting against the tree, annoyance written all over his pale face. "Where were you guys?" The two looked over at me at the same time. David was obviously the most angry of the two of them, seeing as he was the first to run his jaws off.

"Where have you been? You do know your suppose to look for us right."

"Yea but.."

"Where were you?" June interrupted, standing with his arms folded infront of him. June always took the fatherly position on things, on everything actually. Ever since father had died two years ago, June had taken upon himself to take his place. I didn't mind much, but David truly hated it. I answered June as honestly as I could. "I saw something in the field, well heard something, but I think it was an angel!" "An angel." David said, giving a doubtful smirk. "Your saying an angel ruined our game."
"Im not saying that."
David always found a way to twist my words. I hated that.
"Im going to get something to eat, im starving." June walked past looking irritated, I wondered if he was mad at me or the fact that David and I were arguing, either way I was feeling a little hungry myself. I gave David a look as I followed June to the house, in return, he showed me his finger.

The living room was quite aside from the ticking of the grandfather clock. I could here the birds chirping at the window, mamma left it open just to here they're pleasant song in the morning, like mother like daughter I guess. "Mamma!" June yelled out, scouring the kitchen for her. She was no where to be found, not a trace of her in sight. I bypassed the kitchen and walked onto the back porch expecting to find her folding clothes, but was only greeted by a cardinal perched on the back of a lonely rocking chair. The wooden floor creaked as I steeped onto the porch, above me hung the most exquisite flowers from my mothers garden. It was like stepping into an exotic oasis, lizards paned the railings that circled the porch and butterflies fluttered around opulent green plants. I took a minute to bath in the beauty and then turned around and walked back into the house.
I could smell her rolls baking in the oven as i walked back inside, she would never leave them alone like that. As I entered the heavenly scented kitchen David was opening the stove. I watched him for a minute, evaluating his ignorance before I stepped in.
"What are you doing?"
David looked over at me with a mischievous grin as he reached in and pulled out a roll, putting it in his mouth. "Ummm, there so good." David said, trying to seduce me with the sweet rolls. "Did you see mom when you walked in?" i asked, ignoring his stupidity. David shook his head as he stuffed his face with another roll from the oven. "She might be in her room." He said, his tone muffled by the warm bread in his mouth. He was right though, I hadn't checked upstairs. I left David to his grubbing and left the kitchen. As I entered the hallway and moved toward the stairs, I could see June opening the back door to the porch, where I had just been. I left him to his vane search and headed up the stairs. I could hear the sound of classical music playing as I emerged to the second floor. Mommas door was wide open and the music seemed to poor out like a river of sound. I slowly walked toward the door, nervous of what might await me on the other side.
Inside a record spun on the old 45, depressing the sound of running water from mothers shower. "Momma." I said creeping toward the bathroom at the end of the room. The steam rushed out as I pushed the wooden door open. I gasped, My heart stopped with a second of terror. There she was, laying naked on the wet tile floor. I ran to her, grasping her close to me in my arms.

"June! David! Call 911! Call 911!"

She wasn't breathing, I could feel her slipping away from me, I felt as though I was slipping away with her. "Momma please don't go, hold on momma please!" I begged her but her eyes refused to open. My tears streamed from my face, it felt as though everything inside me was falling apart, My mother was the legs to my table, without her, how could I stand?
I sat there with my mother for what seemed like forever, running through all the memories we shared together, all the words we spoke, all the gifts we gave each other, and yet forever just wasn't enough.

"Help, please somebody help!"

I couldn't yell no more, my tears had silenced me, My mother lay silenced. All I could hear was the sirens coming up the street.




The waiting room was filled with sickly people all huddled together waiting for some sort of treatment. I sat there with my hands buckled together, my brothers sat on both side of me, June rubbing his forehead and David trying hard to hold back the tears. As I sat there surrounded by grief and misfortune, all I could think of was the angel who visited me earlier that day in the field. Did she have anything to do with my mother. I tried to push this thought out of my mind because I knew what it meant in the end. I just kept my head down and tried to keep my composure, though it was obvious to all around me that I was anything but okay.

The clock on the wall read 4:15 when I finally looked up. The room was halve empty, we must have been in there a little over an hour. David was leaning against my shoulder, asleep.
"Do you think she's okay?"
June had been a corpse since we got here, so when he finally spoke it startled me.
"I hope so."
June looked over at me with an accusing look. I could feel his eyes piercing through me. I turned my face away so atleast I could pretend he wasn't staring at me. Just then a doctor walked in through the double doors across from us.

"Reynolds?"
June rose to his feet ever so slow.
"That's us."

"This way please."

I pushed against David's head to wake him. Confused, he wiped the slobber from his mouth and looked about with weary eyes. I shrugged him again, It was like pulling some one out of a coma. "Come on, the doctor wants us." I said, getting up to help him stand. He took a while to get up but I finally got him on his feet. He wiped his eyes and looked down at me.

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know yet."

He nodded and walked with me toward the double doors.

June was already talking with the doctor when David and I made it to where they were in the hallway.

"Your mother's going to be fine, we understand she has diabetes and was not taking her insulin but we have informed her of the serious risk she takes when she doesn't so she should be fine."

June nodded then looked over his shoulder when he saw David and I approach. He looked relieved.

"She gonna be okay?" David asked, looking wide eyed and sober now. June nodded his head. Both David and I let out a long sigh. I felt my heart crawl back into my chest as the good news began to sink in. June smiled and put his arms around me to embrace me, I held on to him tight, just happy that I finally had my brothers back, emotionally atleast. The moment was ripe and I breathed a calm air for the first time in 5 hours.

"Do you want to see her?" The doctor asked, trying not to intrude. I will never forget those words, they to me are the most serene yet heart stopping words I had ever heard. We all nodded and the doctor brought us into the room. There she was, sitting up in the hospital bed, a radiant smile stretched across her face.

"Momma!" We ran to her, embraced her, she was our mother again.

"I though we lost you." I told her, smiling back at her. Her smell made me feel safe again, I held her so close that I could feel her gentle heart skip a beat. She shook her head and with the most elegant voice said "Don't worry baby, mommys here."
The room was dark except for the life support monitor which reflected off of mommas mesmerizing blizzard blue eyes.

"Are you going to be all right momma?" David asked, gripping her hand tight in his. "Im not going anywhere." She replied, rubbing his arm with her other hand. "Your aunt Sissy will take care of you until I get out of here." She told us under a heavy breath.

"When are you getting out?" June asked staring at her from the end of the bed.

"Soon baby, soon."

I wrapped my arms around her neck and pressed my face up against hers, "I love you momma." I told her, kissing her cheek.

"I love you too baby."

"come on guys, lets give momma some rest." The doctor said, stepping in. I didn't take my eyes off of my mother the entire time I was leaving, I couldn't, she was all I wanted to see.

When the doctor closed the door I turned to face my brothers but they had already left to the lobby. The doctor was speaking to another doctor and the rest of the hallway was empty with only the sound of a distant stranger from the intercom. As I stood there confused, I began to wonder, If my mother is still alive then who was the angel? It hadn't even occurred to me until just then. The ceiling lights flickered on and off, erousing my attention from now and then, enough for me to look up and notice the nurse coming out of one of the rooms. She was an older women, not like the young nurses you see in movies, her hair was rolled in a bun and her skirt looked a little to small for her girth. The tray she pulled out squeaked as it rolled down the hall. She was about to close the door when I noticed the number on it, 322. 322, the number the angel had told me about, the number she told me to stay away from. I took a second to think about what I should do, the angel told me not to but my heart was leading me toward the door. Frustrated and curious, I had made up my mind

The door creaked as I slowly opened it up. I could see the light hit the floor as I entered in unwelcomed.

"Hello, hello? Is anybody there?" I asked, honestly a little petrified.

"Who is it?"
The voice was soft and harmless, like the bark of a timid dog. Feeling a little less tense i walked into the room and over toward the bed. "My names Vada." I said, feeling about in the dark. "What are you doing in my room, are you a nurse?" I shook my head before realizing that he couldn't see me.

"No, my mother is in the room down the hall."

"Then what are you doing here?"

I didn't know what to say, should I tell him about the angel or just make up an excuse, the whole thing felt weird and didn't sit right in my stomach. "How old are you?" The mystery voice asked. "Im nine." I told him, trying to picture what he looked like.

"Oh, Im 10, my names Bobby."

"Why are you here Bobby?"

He was silent for a moment, his breathing was thick and heavy and when he wheezed it would rattle my eardrums. I walked closer to his bed, waiting for him to say something, then, finally, he spoke. "I had an asthma attack." He said quickly, as if he were trying to get it all out with one breath. "Do you go to Loyd Omen?" I asked him, thinking maybe we went to the same school. I heard his bed creek and saw a shadowy figure rise up. "Yes, do you?" I nodded, once again forgetting that he couldn't see me. "Yes."

"Vada! Vada!"

I could hear David calling my name from the hallway. "I got to go." I said, still trying to make out what he might look like. "Oh." He replied, disappointment riddled in his voice. I saw a dark outline of his head slump down infront of him. "If I come back tomorrow can I come see you?" I asked, hoping to cheer him up. I saw his silhouette nod. "Okay." "Well," I started moving toward the door, "I'll see you then." As I walked out and closed the door behind me, I completely forgot about the angel, and her warning.


22 YEARS LATER

"Is she here" I asked, sitting up straight to see the door.

"Yes, she's waiting in the lobby."

I smiled.

"She wants to see you."

I looked up at him, the man I had loved for 15 years, and for the first time I couldn't find the words to say to him. "Bobby, I, I don't know if I can.." "Stop." He said, putting his gentle hand on my shoulder. "Everything's going to be fine." His eyes were so pure, they were the warmest eyes I had ever gazed into, there was no way I could argue with those eyes. I grabbed his hand and clasped it, intertwining my fingers with his. "I love you." I said, a lonely tear rolling down my cheek. "I love you to Vada, I love you to." He slowly let go of my shoulder and stepped back, I wished so badly that I could get up and go after him, It hurt me so bad to watch him leave.
As Bobby closed the door behind him, I wiped the liquid from my eye and let out a deep bellowing sigh. I looked up at the muted TV on the wall, glaring brightly infront of me. Somewhere in-between a Rolaid commercial and one of those weekly test there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said, sitting up to greet my visitor. I watched as the door opened slowly and a beautiful little girl peeked through the crack. "Come in, come in" I said, my heart overwhelmed with joy at the sight of her. She smiled as she approached me, her cheeks curved off by two perfect little dimples. "Come give mommy a kiss." She wrapped her arms around me and put her lips to my cheek. As I held her close I felt something drip onto my arm. She was hiding her face against my shoulder, i gently pushed up her chin, examining her face. She was crying. "What's wrong sweaty?" She didn't answer, just continued to cry and look down at the floor. Then, out of no where, the words came pouring out.

"Im sorry mommy."

"About what?"

"Its my fault your here, you wouldn't be here if I wasn't born." She said, sobbing a mournful sob.

"No honey, Its not your fault, how many times can I explain to you that mommy didn't get this from you, my mother had it."

"Yea but you didn't get it until I was born."

"Sweaty that was temporary, mommy only had that while I was pregnant, afterwards it went away.

I smiled as my beautiful little princess looked up at me with those big sapphire eyes. the tears sparkling as they erupted from the corner of her eyes. she stuttered as she began to speak again. "Im sorry I caused you so much pain, I wish I could take it back." I smiled, " I wouldn't, there would be no reason for me to be without you." She smiled a big smile as she stretched her arms around me. "How does mommy look?" I asked, flipping my hair as if I was a young débutante. "Your as beautiful now as ever." She replied, kissing me one last time.