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This is the beginning of a novel i'm writin. I would REALLY love feedback on this! |
I'm sitting in a greasly chair,in my dark room, staring out the window.I look to see the buildings across the street,but I can't.It's pitch dark. Sani is probably bustling downstairs, preparing the Evening Meal.It's not much.I'm guessing some roasted pidgeon,and carrots from the community garden.I hear the factory bus pull up to the door.Ma's home.Da will soon be home too.I hear the creaking of the door as it is pushed open.I listen to the tired steps of second-hand boots slowly move down the hall.I better go down now. "Hello Ma."I say as softly and politely as I can.I get no reply.Just a blank stare from empty eyes.The same empty eyes I've seen for the past 12 years.I don't remember much before I was 3. Sani hears us in the hall. "Come on in,you don't want your food to go cold"sings her voice.I love Sani.Ever since I lost my Ma to sadness,she has been there to comfort me.I could tell her anything.Da hired her about 10 years ago,when he realized Ma wasn't really raising me. She wasn't doing much else, actually. Anyway,Sani came in and took over the household tasks,including me.I've never asked her,but I think she is in her mid-twenties. I'm guessing she was living on the street, offering her goods , when we hired her. All homeless teenage girls do. They all do that to eat, until they land a real job. I've seen them, when walking with Jana. She pretends not to notice them, but I do. I notice alot more then she does. After dinner, as I'm helping Sani clear the table, I hear my name come through the ventilator, calling me to Mr. Josly's apartment. He specifically tells me to come alone. Sani hears it and a worried look comes over her face. She shakes it off and starts giving me advice. "Don't agree to anything, say "Uh huh" but nothing definite. Oh yea and DEFINITELY don't sign ANYTHING! No matter what he says, don't sign anything. Pretend to pretend to be listening, but really log everything in your brain. I want to hear everything he says. Oh yea and if he trys anything funny, or if you feel threatened, first try to leave quietly. If that doesn't work, run. Oh yea and if he has you cornered, yell as LOUD as you can and I'll run up with my knife in hand. Understand?" "Oh yes Sani, I will. You don't have to worry, I know how to take care of myself." I sounded confident, but inside I was shaking. What did he want with me? And what was Sani talking about, 'anything funny'? Oh my was I scared as I climbed that long, winding, creaky staircase up to his apartment.But I was going to put on a brave face, no matter what. I wasn't about to let him know he scared me. "Welcome, Myna. Come in, come in."Mr. Josly welcomed me into his penthouse. I don't know what that means, but he uses it alot to describe his aparment. He beckoned me into a red, plush chair. A luxury that I couldn't turn down. He offered me drinks, mostly alcoholic. I accepted only water. He looked disturbed by this, but shook it off.After all the small talk, he cleared his throat. "Well Myna,your probably wondering why your here. I have a business proposal for you. A friend of mine owns a business, and he needs some help." I nodded him on. "Would you be interested Myna? I have all the papers here." I replayed Sani's advice in my head, and then hesitated, frightened to death. "Myna,"his voice suddenly became dangerously soft, with an edge to it,"I said, would you be interested?" He spit at the end of his sentence, into a nearby bin. Sani always says this is a bad sign. He dangled the pen in my face, pushing the paper into my hand. Sani's voice came into my head again. But it fuzzed out. I think I was fainting. I heard voices, but they sounded far away. I think I had the sensation of falling, but I can't remember. Next thing I know I was on a bed, with a wet rag on my forehead, in a dark room. I moved my hand and I knocked over a glass of liquid. I felt down and it was water. Suddenly the lights come on, and the door opens. In comes Sani, rushing over to my side. "Oh,honey, are you alright?" I pointed to the glass, I don't think I could speak. "Oh don't worry about that, dear, it can be replaced. How does your head feel? Can you speak?" I croaked out a yes. She sighed, relieved, and started cleaning up the glass shards. "I don't want to rush you,deary, but I really need to know what happened up there. You see, you were just called up and then a few minutes later I was getting uneasy and then more time passed, you following me dear? Oh yes then more time passed and I was REALLY anxious and then suddenly. You hearing me girl I said SUDDENLY Mr. Josly was calling me through the ventilator to come and fetch you. He looked as calm as a summer's eve. I said as cah-alm as a summer's eve.He was just a-sitting there when I burst through the door. He looked at me queer,but I won't bore you with that. Am I boring you girl? Hope not. Anyway he just nodded towards you and went away on his own business. If I wasn't in so much of a shock I would have chased him down and interrogated him. That means questioned, dahling, if you were wondering. So I just carried you down here, laid you down on my bed, and good golly here ya'll are." I nodded her on now and then. I don't mind her rattling on and on. It comforts me sometimes but most of the time I just want her to be happy and I guess feel loved. Because I really do love her. "So, my wonderful doll you, what happened up there. Now don't you dare leave anything out because you think I can't take it or your embarrassed. Nothin' to be embarrassed about. Anything he did was his fault. And I may not seem it but I'm as strong as steel. So go on, girly, tell me about it." I told her all there was to tell, because I can't lie to her. Anyway, she didn't seem too upset about it. The job offer frightened her some but she tried to keep that from me. She told me to be extra careful when stepping out on my own, because that Mr. Josly might try anything. I think she may know something about that job offer I don't, but I'm not going to ask. I don't want to upset her anymore. Around midnight,judging by the public clock on the pole outside,Da trudged in. I was in bed,supposed to be asleep.When I heard the door slam, my Da's voice, unusually stern,shouted for Sani, I went down the stairs. I peered from around the corner, down the hall, where Da and Sani were standing. They were talking in hushed,scared voices. Then Da spotted me spying. "Come here, Myna. We need to talk." I walked down to where they were standing. "Myna, Sani told me you were called up to Mr. Josly's today. Can you tell me what happened?" I recounted my story for him. He nodded, as if he knew this was going to happen. "Ok, listen to my Myna,and listen to me good. |