No matter what folks say, sometimes it is not a simple decision. {RAW contest] |
You have torn my heart from within my chest and clutch it, bleeding, in your tempered fist, and yet,not torn so much as drawn out- leaving nerves stretched tight still allowing for heartbeats or beating, while weeping salted tears into the wound, wounding me beyond all reasoning. You toss it back, casually, while sitting on the blameless throne of your deceit; throwing words, hurling invectives and then silently watching as shattered bones heal and blueblack shadows fade yet again. How can I survive this torment? This rendering of body and mind which exposes all I am and am not on a platter for your perusal. How can I yet love the man within the beast? How can I yet feel that deep within the creature you have become, is still that gentle essence, that tender caress? I do not know which is more terrifying- That you will tear me physically apart gaining some momentary satisfaction from pathetic mewling cries, the clear snap of bone or established dominance or haunted, hunted escape; fearing each dark hall or alley, each knock on a door, while remembering past threats of rigged ignition switches and cut break lines. To spend my tomorrows trying to move forward while always looking over my shoulder to yesterday, existing in that prison you so carefully created where each bar is fear, mistrust, or doubt and there is no key. Caught between the rock of your existence and the hard hell of the unknown, I teeter on the brink of either insanity or freedom, but I do not know which direction I shall fall. |