rant

now that i've broken the eggshell of these wee hours
i seem to have awoken
cascades of lazy hopes
resting
ready to be renascent         reborn
cycles of expanding and
contracting around a dying daydream
that had been wistful for a night
when it could make a return


tragi-comedies  other lives to travel down
another mind    visiting bigger and better statues
monuments to our history    golden dazzle
metamorphoses    alchemy magic wizard
spaceships  safaris  carnal rhythms
 bloodlust
but not as you think
not to hurt but to cut to the source
of universal breath

that he rapped   that she talked to spirits
that he wrote children's stories     that others still are making
shoelaces for a living in assembly line
factories    for her blue suede shoes
his break dancing  her heart breaking
syringes of liquid bacteria cultures
being split up to understand
what's been inherited from
 flagellated cells and
ancestral tadpoles without tails
crawling onto
stagnant silicon sand beaches
crystal water    shifting mountains
seasons changing with moods
moods changing with seasons
orbits being spun
virgin bride proud of bleeding heart
dominatrix in love with selfless slave
vulnerable paths common kinks and links in our chain
philosophers dodging punches
from psychologists
teachers students  tribes with no nations
copilots daring diving stunts   hang-gliding
over absolutes    theories needing
practice       proofs fighting
uncertainties   facts forming
postulates    creation evolving with a
bang    decades being
boxed in   centuries being
cut short   globalized into
tight sphere  tripping without
psychedelics
onto

rivers veins and pearls
giants and midgets
beauty and death
all holding hands
and bowing
sending air kisses to
portions of barricaded brain
cheering wildly now


something to my mad method
i couldn't put into words
building everests to climb
so l can ever be at rest?

something to the pieces
of this puzzle that never fit
my inability to filter
and focus
turning me into atlas
feeling burdened
feeling confused
but really feeling the
seductive stretch
in the span of my arms

or was i straining too much
 just a whale
swallowing ocean
after ocean
for a little luscious plankton
to stick to my baleens?

these delusions   this silliness    this foolish secret desire
for it all to be grandiose

coins of infinite face
the dual nature of light
feeling infinitesimal
feeling particulate but
living waves
how frequently can i come
and go?
how will i make a point
when I’m rocking at sea?
mass and energy
transforming at my fingers

what will i be closer to
once i make link after
senseless link
attempting half-baked arguments
putting little thought
into a little of everything?

just need a little more time
but even then
would i just move faster
(fast as break of dawn
fast as flashlight
twilight
   your light )
fast so it could all stay the same
so i could be younger than my twin self
trying to grow away from my accelerating frame?

arrays of questions
in rapid succession
stealing my sleep
begging to be pinned down
 tonight

but i'm lacking still
a little bit of something
before i can take them all the way